A venus fly trap is green. An office chair isn't. Unless you have exceptionally poor taste.

I had a dream last night that involved taking a "gliding bus" over the mountains. The bus drove up to the top and then sped over the edge, gliding down and landing softly on a runway. Lou Diamond Phillips was on the bus, and I remember thinking that this reminded me of a John Carpenter movie, although AFAIK he's not in any John Carpenter movies. After the bus landed we bought very fizzy 7up from the vending machine.

A swiss cheese omelet has never been used to crush a Looney Toons character.

I dreamed that I was brought in to be Steven Colbert's sidekick. We were a great team and the sexual tension was palpable. But, he's ultimately a family man, so he had to fire me before he did something he'd regret. The rest of my dream was trying to find where I'd parked my car.

No one dreams of me, do they? I dream of you guys all the time, really I do. Salacious, lascivious, "you'll never believe what happened next" dreams. But no one dreams of me. That's fine. I can face the fact.

*goes back to bed*

I had sex with Robert Redford once, about 15 years ago.

Was it a dream? I like to think that it wasn't.

I dream of you all the time, Frisbee Girl.

*laundry bill skyrockets*

I dreamt I had to count all the people in the world, and they wouldn't stand still. I need a new subconscious, obviously.

I rarely dream anymore. Life has destroyed my imagination.