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01 November 2005

Proposal: Tom Waits should be adopted as the official musician of MetaChat, for the following reasons:[More:]

1. Tom Waits is a mammal

2. Tom Waits fights ALL the time

3. The purpose of Tom Waits is to flip out and kill pople

4. Tom Waits wears hats.

5. At some point in his long and storied career, Tom Waits has touched on nearly every musical genre that I care about.

6. Tom Waits was featured in the movie Mystery Men. Starring in Mystery Men: Janeane Garofalo, Janeane also starred in Dog Park, written and directed by Bruce McCulloch... a Canadian

7. Tom Waits does not allow his songs to be used in commercials.

8. Tom Waits was the voice of Tommy The Cat on the Primus album Sailing the Seas Of Cheese

9. Tom Waits will break your heart, steal your booze and you'll thank him for it.


(He was also in Short Cuts.)
posted by tr33hggr 01 November | 11:36
I propose Limp Bizkit as the official MetaChat band for the following reasons:

1. They did it all for the nookie.
2. So you can take that cookie, and stick it up your ass.
3. They sold more records than Tom Waits.
4. Fred Durst was in the movie Killer Klowns From Outer Space.
posted by agropyron 01 November | 12:02
I propose goatdog as the official musician of Metachat. I once owned a bass guitar, and I could play any U2 song you can name.
posted by goatdog 01 November | 12:05
I propose Charlie Parker as the official musician of MetaChat.
posted by sciurus 01 November | 12:08
3. They sold more records than Tom Waits.
Can you support this assertion?
posted by Capn 01 November | 12:09
If I could, would that make you want them as the MetaChat official band?
posted by agropyron 01 November | 12:11
Tom Waits was also in Dracula. (In fact, he was the only good part of an otherwise horrible movie.) In addition, he had a bit part in the Outsiders, a movie I can't help but love.

Plus, Heart of Saturday Night is one of my favorite "mopey" albums. In fact, when I'm in a prolonged bad mood, my husband says, "Are you going to snap out of this or do I have to take away Tom Waits?"
posted by jrossi4r 01 November | 12:12
Wow, according to Wikipedia:

Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water sold 1,055,256 copies in its first week, a record for a rock album. It has gone on to sell over 7 million copies.
posted by agropyron 01 November | 12:13
Just as I am against compulsory pledge of allegiance in the classroom, I am against there being an official musician of the MetaChat. While I am pro-Tom Waits, I support every bunny's right to choose.
posted by me3dia 01 November | 12:14
Well, no, but maybe they could be the official Limp Bizkit of MetaChat... although it looks like that post might go to The Bloodhound Gang, who's Bizkitz are far Limper
posted by Capn 01 November | 12:16
Tom Waits is also in Down By Law and Coffee and Cigarettes.
posted by sciurus 01 November | 12:18
I thought my suggestion of Limp Bizkit would be ridiculous enough that no one would take it seriously, but it looks like it might have been, so to clarify: I'm not a fan.
posted by agropyron 01 November | 12:18
(Fred Durst wasn't even in Killer Klowns!)
posted by agropyron 01 November | 12:21
He's also the voice of the late-night Memphis DJ (eat Jiffy Squid, now here's "Blue Moon," etc.) in "Mystery Train."
posted by raysmj 01 November | 12:23
I nominate Handsome Dick Manitoba. Since he's from NYC (Da Bronx, even). He was in a seminal punk band. He loves White Castle and pro wrestling. He owns a bar on Avenue B, and some of us have even met him.
posted by jonmc 01 November | 12:23
What punk band jonmc?
posted by tr33hggr 01 November | 12:28
What punk band jonmc?

*looks at tr33hugger in utter disbelief*

The Dictators (the seminal missing link between the Detroit Stooges/MC5 crew and the Ramones/Blondie/CBGB axis. The Brits were basically all imitators of that anyway.;)
posted by jonmc 01 November | 12:31
Tom Waits' scenes in "Coffee and Cigarettes" were fucking awesome.

Same with Dracula. He makes an excellent Renfield. That was like the only good part about that movie - besides the lesbian/bisexual vampire orgy scenes and Winonan Ryder all tarted up in faux Edwardian garb. Either of which weren't even that good, really.

Though I like Tom Waits, I will only support him as official MeCha musician if his heavily experimental stuff is pushed to the top of the stack. IE, broken instruments, warped tape decks, noisy things, incoherent yowlings, etc.

If we can rally behind that kind of Tom Waits - which I suspect we can't - I'll steal him and deliver him naked on a platter, and thoroughly sauced up.
posted by loquacious 01 November | 12:31
Ahhh, ok. I know of 'em, have a record, but didn't make the association. I was more into West Coast stuff back then. This is a good sign that I need to start listening to my LPs again.
posted by tr33hggr 01 November | 12:35
Although I love me some Tom Waits (although I prefer his earlier "On every street corner in America there's a derelict, and the there's Tom Waits ten feet away writing a song about him" stuff), I'm kind of irked at how he's become a facile talisman of hip these days.

This site is all about the fun, so we need a back to basics rock and roller. As my nominee sang:

June 1st, 67 something died and went to heaven
I wish Sgt Pepper
never taught the band to play
posted by jonmc 01 November | 12:52
I nominate Bun E. Carlos, for obvious reasons
posted by briank 01 November | 12:55
Well, he did participate in "Surrender," on of the four or five greatest moments in the history of recorded sound.
posted by jonmc 01 November | 12:59
I'm with Jon. Down with Tom!
(I'd feel better about him being the official actor of MeCha, though it really should be that guy from City of Lost Children who looks like he should play Tom Waits in a biopic).
posted by klangklangston 01 November | 13:11
Can I point out that Shaggy has sold more records than Bob Marley?
posted by biffa 01 November | 13:12
Record sales are about the worst indicator possible of a musician's value.

By the sales meter scale, Ashlee Simpson is awesome and Nina Simone's a hack. (Note, I didn't check record sales before making this statement and hope that you get the intent behind it rather than the potentially non-true part of it).
posted by fenriq 01 November | 13:22
I believe we should not have an official musician, because that would just make us a Tom Waits fanclub.
posted by Eideteker 01 November | 13:22
fenriq: Your statement is bolstered by the fact that Limp Bizkit sucks, but broke some sales record.
posted by agropyron 01 November | 13:27
... I support every bunny's right to choose.
posted by me3dia 01 November | 12:14

I support me3dia, and it's turtles all the way down after that my friends.

Though a house band with Handsome Dick, Tom Waits, Bun E. Carlos, Jamie Stillman, and Bootsy Collins in it would be of interest.
posted by safetyfork 01 November | 13:35
Further, I propose that Fred Durst be used as an insulating tile on the next shuttle re-entry.

agropyron, sucks is being kind to Limp Bizkit. The only other band that approaches their outrageous level of suckitude is Oasis and they could actually make music.
posted by fenriq 01 November | 13:35
T' hell with that. Oasis made some great pop tunes, and they were the funniest rock brothers since JAMC.
posted by klangklangston 01 November | 13:50
Hows about Paul Revere and the Raiders?
posted by iconomy 01 November | 13:55
most underrated group of the 60's, ico.
posted by jonmc 01 November | 13:57
Hey, Tom Waits is fine. I remember him from the 70's.

But does anyone know his position on cilantro?
posted by bunnyfire 01 November | 14:32
My vote:
≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by gigawhat? 01 November | 14:39
I, too, support every bunny's right to choose.
But can someone please come break my heart and steal my booze in such a way that I'll thank them for it? Please? Or, I could give the heart breaking and booze stealing and thank you notes accepted thing a go myself.
posted by rainbaby 01 November | 14:44
*Kisses rainbaby passionately, with just the right amount of tongue and the fainest lip nibble*

*Grabs whiskey and heads for the door*

*Whispers "You're welcome" over shoulder*
posted by jrossi4r 01 November | 14:51
You, sir, are no Tom Waits. But I appreciate the effort. *runs out to liquor store*
posted by rainbaby 01 November | 15:09
Damn. I need to increase my whiskey and cigarettes intake.
posted by jrossi4r 01 November | 15:16
klangklangston, any band that starts comparing themselves favorably to the Beatles after one album deserves much mockery.

But then, you did put 9 to 5 by Dolly Parton in a recent mix so your musical tastes are a little wider than my own, perhaps.
posted by fenriq 01 November | 16:14
Are you kidding? The "We're bigger than the Beatles" was AWESOME! (Though, really, it was a riff on Wham.)
That's the sort of thing that makes rock and roll fun! Every band should try to be bigger than the Beatles.
Oh, and 9 to 5 is awesome. Sorry.
posted by klangklangston 01 November | 16:45
Are you kidding? The "We're bigger than the Beatles" was AWESOME!

My beloved Replacements did it better by titling their third album Let It Be.
posted by jonmc 01 November | 16:47
Tiny Tim, definitely--or Lena Zavaroni
posted by amberglow 01 November | 17:19
A Tom Waits song (Way Down in the Hole) is used as the theme for the Wire on HBO. In each of the three seasons that has been the theme but with different performers each time (Waits himself in season 2).

Anyway, that's sort of like a commercial. An awesome commercial.
posted by mullacc 01 November | 17:44
The Replacements were awesome. Even their pop stuff was good.

Tom Waits would be OK. So would John Coltrane. Or perhaps the Rutles if you want a Beatles connection. Maybe Syd Barrett since his band started playing different tunes, and he's quite madcap. Or Captain Beefheart because he was a child prodigy sculptor. Yeah, every bunny should have their day.
posted by eekacat 01 November | 17:50
Who is Tom Waits? Is he like Joan Jett (who i only know off because she appears to be the official artiste of mechat irc)?
posted by ramix 01 November | 17:54
Frank Sinitra. Else I'll find someone in Vegas to kill you all. You silly bitches.

Wait, no. I meant Seal. Because he named himself after a damn barking, whiskered freak of an animal... or did he? Or is it some mystical "I am the seal of the ages" nonsense? See if he named himself after the ANIMAL Seal, that is great.

OH! Actually it should be 2nu - the group that sang the best song ever that involved seeing what someone was saying. It was Ponderous, man. Really ponderous. Wait, that song was stupid even if I did like it... um...

Green Jelly. Definitely. Yanno, used to be Green Jello... had a lovely little "song" about three little pigs and a wolf that was huffin' and puffin' and saying "little pig, little pig, let me in" but then the MAN said they could not use Jello and they became JELLY instead.

Or maybe it should be Julia Hatfield since she just came on Winamp randomly. It's a sign, man. A SIGN.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs 01 November | 17:56
Juliana even.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs 01 November | 17:59
Hear, hear!
posted by agropyron 01 November | 21:16
I say;


i am weirder out by ho w much i like tom waits, to the detriment of everything else in my life. who wants to send me some bootleg concerts right now right now.
posted by sam 01 November | 21:21
I heart Tom Waits, deeply and sincerely.
posted by scody 02 November | 04:12
Most importantly, Tom Waits was on Fernwood Tonight.
posted by rfs 02 November | 23:04
Tenhunen is already prepared || 700 Hobo Names