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01 November 2005

It’s just a silly phase I’m going through Is there a song you associate with your first big crush? [More:]For me, it’s “I’m Not In Love” by 10cc. (Sorry – there’s a really bad midi clip of the song on that page. I’d love to post the song itself, but I only have it in AAC. It’s a huge, fluffy cake of a song, with frosting up the wazoo, and that clip really doesn’t do it justice at all.)

1974. 8th grade. Joan Tovey sat right in front of me in Biology. I had an enormous crush on her, which I think was at least partially requited. She would steal my shirt (it was the fashion among boys at out school to wear an unbuttoned shirt over a white T-shirt), I would snap her bra-strap. We exchanged mild insults regularly. *sigh*

Sadly, it never went any farther than that. I asked her out on several occasions, but she always declined – usually citing some catholic or familial (frequently both) responsibility. “I’m Not In Love” was all over the radio at the time, and even though I never had her picture upon my wall (hiding a nasty stain that was lying there, y’know), I found it comforting.

These days, I’m happily affianced here in Seattle. (Last I’d heard, Joan was married and living in San Francisco.) I still like the song, although now it’s more for the production values (all those frothy, multi-tracked “aaah”s) than the sentiment. Listening to it does send me back a bit, though.

What’s your story?
I don't remember a song associated with my first crush, but I had sex for the first time while Depeche Mode's "Violator" was playing on the stereo. I'm not sure if I should be embarrassed about that or not.
posted by cmonkey 01 November | 23:27
Cmonkey--It could be worse. I lost my virginity while his friends sang the theme to the Love Boat outside the window.
posted by jrossi4r 01 November | 23:32
I don't remember the exact song, but I do remember my best friend and I washing my father's red pickup in the back yard and singing loudly to Whitney Houston in order to catch the attention of the boys down the street who were playing ball in their yard. We had all grown up with each other but just a few months earlier the boys had stopped being boys and started being "boys", you know?
One of those boys gave me my first kiss. Not that day but not long after. In his dark basement right under the creepy painted picture of his mother's favorite Husky dog.
posted by LeeJay 01 November | 23:42
Diane.
posted by danostuporstar 01 November | 23:54
Cmonkey--It could be worse. I lost my virginity while his friends sang the theme to the Love Boat outside the window.

I think you should share that story. With us. Right here.
posted by cmonkey 01 November | 23:55
Oh my goodness, I just thought of one. The Search is Over, by Survivor. It was, like, totally the perfect song for me and my first big crush, omigod.

(Am I really admitting this?)
posted by amro 01 November | 23:56
Ugh, the worst song association I have is from when I was a freshman in college and this boy I liked and I were finally alone together in his room. He went over to the stereo and I thought he was going to put something soft and mellow on.

He turned on I Want to F@$% You Like An Animal by NIN. Needless to say, I was unimpressed.
posted by amro 01 November | 23:59
Hmm, identifying my first big crush is the first problem. Ok, presuming it's the girl I have in mind, then probably Africa by Toto, strictly as a time-and-place association.

Later came, yep -- Stairway to Heaven.
posted by dreamsign 02 November | 00:01
He turned on I Want to F@$% You Like An Animal by NIN.


Subtle! (As is Violator.)

Not much to the Love Boat story. I guess he had mentioned to his friends that we were going "all the way" that night. Just as we started the awkward act: "Love, exciting and new..."

He was my first Great Love. We dated for 3 years before breaking up horribly. Last I heard, he was living in SF with his boyfriend. Guess he set his "course for adventure, his mind on a new romance.."
posted by jrossi4r 02 November | 00:10
Luna's first album in its entirety is what I associate with the discovery of the max amount of affection I had to give. Many crushes and lusts before that but they pale in comparison.
posted by dobbs 02 November | 00:30
The first time I almost went "all the way," Sophie B. Hawkins's "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover" was on the radio and Johnny Carson's last episode as host of the Tonight Show was on the TV. And then her parents came home.
posted by goatdog 02 November | 00:32
I was such the hopeless romantic, there's no way I could keep track of a particular song. One song that's associated with a particular star-crossed relationship is Indigo Girls' "You and Me of the 10,000 Wars."


I had a girlfriend in college who put on Peter Gabriel's Greatest Hits whenever we made out in her dorm room. Having sex to a song about Lee Harvey Oswald shooting JFK is weird.
posted by me3dia 02 November | 00:43
Here's a slightly different take, since it's the strongest association I can think of. After the breakup of my first serious relationship, when I finally finished moping and went drinking with friends again, there was "Gone Away" by the Offspring.

How I love that chorus ... "it feeeeeeels!!! it feeeeeeels like ... etc."
posted by nomis 02 November | 01:48
Not first, but current and biggest: "Jenny" by the Mountain Goats. She made me a copy of the album on which it appears two years ago—it was my first introduction to the band. I can't remember if that happened shortly before or after she told me she didn't fancy me. In the past year we started hanging out again. Then she went to Poland for the summer and France for the fall quarter, and I left Chicago for school in California, though we sent each other letters. I'm currently waiting for a letter from her in response to the last one I sent, three weeks ago today, in which I revealed (again) my feelings (explicitly; I'm sure that, to those with eyes to see, I had already done so in various other ways).
posted by kenko 02 November | 01:49
I hope it works out for you kenko.
posted by nomis 02 November | 01:53
and if it doesn't, you'll always have the music
posted by nomis 02 November | 01:54
Love is like oxygen.

(do do do)

You get too much and you'll get high,
not enough and you're gonna die

(gonna die)
posted by joelf 02 November | 02:11
And if you add manganese to hydrogen peroxide, you get LOVE.
posted by kenko 02 November | 02:18
"What'll I Do" by Chet Baker.
posted by small_ruminant 02 November | 02:31
"Da Doo Ron Ron".

Adding insult to injury: the Shaun Cassidy version. Hey, I was young, I didn't really listen to pop music, I didn't know any better ...

MANY years later, I associated an early "real" love with "Careless Whisper" ...

I still didn't know any better.

I Want to F@$% You Like An Animal

Just so you know, the song is titled "Closer". And it's about neediness. I don't know if that softens your opinion of him or not. ;-)
posted by stilicho 02 November | 02:33
Hey, "Closer" is a great song for... for angry goth crotchgrinding at least. Not that I'd know anything about that, or anything.
posted by loquacious 02 November | 02:38
Everywhere - by Fleetwood Mac.
I'm not proud of this fact, but there it is.
posted by seanyboy 02 November | 03:21
Song: "True Colors" by Ms Cindy Lauper.
Crush: Local newsagent's redheaded tomboy daughter Ruth
Age: around 11

Good lord I'm lame.
posted by Rembrandt Q. Einstein 02 November | 03:58
My first real boyfriend in high school made a mixtape to celebrate our first date, which he played in the car as he drove me to the party we were going to; songs included "New Rose" by the Damned, "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend" by the Ramones, and "Daydream Believer" by the Monkees. So those songs have always inevitably *screamed* to me: Hampton Nelms! Littleton, Colorado! Fall of 1985! Woo-hoo!
posted by scody 02 November | 04:02
My ex unilaterally declared Lionel Richie's "Hello" as 'Our Song', which I should've realized were clear signs of (a) her insanity and (b) the fifteen years of hell she was going to put me through...
posted by wendell 02 November | 06:44
Tiffany's "I Think We're Alone Now" is the first song I associated with a crush. It's funny; I don't think we did the whole crush thing before 4th grade. Before that you were just "a couple". Write a girl a few poems, and she's yours! If only things were that simple now.
posted by Eideteker 02 November | 07:47
Lesley Gore You don't own me is forever associated with my first sucky long term bf. Warning sduper cheesy midi file on that page.
posted by dabitch 02 November | 08:48
dear god wendell, I pity you. Hello? You should have run like hell.
posted by dabitch 02 November | 08:49
Just so you know, the song is titled "Closer".

Aw geez, I swear I know that. Brainfart.
posted by amro 02 November | 09:07
American Pie. It was a favorite of the first girl I ever got into the pants of, at the age of 14.
posted by sarah connor 02 November | 09:09
I don't remember my first crush / song. But I do remember that the first person to kiss me sang Blondie's "One Way or Another" right before she did so (against my 3rd grade will). Damn 5th graders.

One way or another, I'm gonna find ya'
I'm gonna get ya', get ya', get ya', get ya'
One way or another, I'm gonna win ya'
I'm gonna get ya', get ya' ,get ya', get ya'
One way or another, I'm gonna see ya'
I'm gonna meet ya', meet ya', meet ya', meet ya'
One day maybe next week, I'm gonna meet ya'
I'm gonna meet ya', I'll meet ya'
I will drive past your house and if the lights are all down
I'll see who's around
One way or another, I'm gonna find ya'
I'm gonna get ya', get ya', get ya', get ya'
One way or another, I'm gonna win ya'
I'll get ya', I'll get ya'
One way or another, I'm gonna see ya'
I'm gonna meet ya', meet ya', meet ya', meet ya'
One day maybe next week ,I'm gonna meet ya'
I'll meet ya' ah
And if the lights are all out I'll follow your bus downtown
See who's hangin' out
One way or another, I'm gonna lose ya'
I'm gonna give you the slip
A slip of the lip or another I'm gonna lose ya'
I'm gonna trick ya', I'll trick ya'
One way or another, I'm gonna lose ya'
I'm gonna trick ya', trick ya', trick ya', trick ya'
One way or another, I'm gonna lose ya'
I'm gonna give you the slip
I'll walk down the mall, stand over by the wall
Where I can see it all, find out who ya' call
Lead you to the supermarket checkout, some specials and rat food
Get lost in the crowd
One way or another I'm gonna get ya'
I'll get ya'
I'll get ya', get ya', get ya', get ya'
Where I can see it all, find out who ya' call
posted by safetyfork 02 November | 09:29
Cake's "Never There" and my auburn haired best friend in high school.

in college, Interpol's "Obstacle 2" and a waifish and bebraided psych major.
posted by sciurus 02 November | 09:43
Ah hah hah haaaah-ah hah... I know this... much is... true.
posted by go dog go 02 November | 09:48
At 18 or so I had an episode around the 'Mats "Here Comes a Regular". I worked the counter at a convenience store that summer, and a girl of about 15 or 16 who was, well, really profoundly physically attractive to a degree that belied her age, was a regular. She had an obvious crush on me. Loitered for no reason, shot lots of shy glances, smiles. I was a bit smitten, but it was entirely physical, as she was as engaging as a bag of hammers to talk to. I knew better than to do anything, but the combination of powerful physical attraction and the knowledge it was a complete non-starter was deeply depressing. That song just worked for me.
posted by pliskie 02 November | 10:08
...given our ages, the line about "once the police made you go away..." was particularly apt.
posted by pliskie 02 November | 10:10
Not my first, who I didn't really share a "song" with, but my musical memory goes like this:
I had grabbed a bunch of random tapes from my office that had been in the desk from some poor drone generations before me, and one of them was the Simon and Garfunkle album with Salsbury Fair. I had played it once or twice on the boombox next to my bed, but didn't really think anything of it. The other tapes I had there were all industrial or metal, which I tended to listen to more in those days.
I was dating this older woman from Spain, and I think it was the first time we were having sex at my house. She asked me to put on some music, and I fumbled around, decided that KMFDM wasn't the right choice, and slapped in Simon and Garfunkle. Salsbury Fair came on, with that fey "Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme" bit. She starts laughing and yelling "Old man music! Turn it off! You listen to old man music! HA! Old man!" So, that's my overwhelming Paul Simon association.
I also remember that the first time I kissed her was at the Detroit Electronic Music Festival. I wasn't really sure if she liked me, but I had a hunch and her friends seemed to encourage it. So, with Plasticman on in the background, I just kinda turned around and kissed her. It was fantastic.

And, of course, I met my current girlfriend at a crappy show in the basement of a college building (Lovesick's last show, if any of you are familiar with the obscure modern punk history of Ann Arbor— members of the band became Saturday Looks Good To Me). She was there with a guy I knew from high school who had an unrequited crush on her, and while Amy and I just clicked, he spent the entire night trying to convince her that I was a giant asshole. My nonchalance about it made him look like a bigger dick, and I asked her out then and there. We went on one date, I broke up with the other girl that I had been kinda seeing, and I've been with her ever since.

And since this is inadvertantly turning into a tome about the musical loves of my life, the girl inbetween the Spaniard and the current one kept a bunch of my favorite albums. She went to Thailand to study for a year abroad, and begged that when I visited her for me to bring some music for her to borrow. She ended up cheating on me, and kept the albums (including two Spoon albums and a Joe Frank compilation that I still wish I could get back from her).
posted by klangklangston 02 November | 10:32
I had so many crushes in junior high...one of the songs I associate is "You Might Think" by the Cars. I imagined reinacting the video, with me in the Ric Ocasek role. "Crazy For You" by Madonna was another one.

The first song I slow danced to is "What a Wonderful World," by Louis Armstrong. I danced with a boy at camp and I still think of that whenever I hear that song.

For the guy I had the biggest crush on in high school, it was "All Out Of Love" by Air Supply. We were actually pretty good friends and one day I was at his house and he and I and another friend were just lying on the floor of his room, chatting, and that song was on. Nothing happened beyond friendship, though we always had chemistry.

In college it was "Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover," by Sophie B. Hawkins and "If" by Janet Jackson. Reminds me of the guy I had the biggest crush on all through school. We became good friends and the worst part was that he dated what seemed like every woman from the Chicago area in the journalism school - except me. And then of course when he had problems, guess who he talked to about them? Guess who sat there and listened, all the while thinking "DATE ME! I'M RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE AND I WON'T TREAT YOU LIKE CRAP!" Talk about frustrating!

The song I associate with losing my virginity - "I Can't Dance," by Genesis. (That song was all over MTV at the time and it seemed like it was always on when my then-boyfriend and I got together!)

posted by sisterhavana 02 November | 11:29
Ha! I remember "I Can't Dance" as being the best song on a shitty camp jukebox when my family took a trip to Canada one year. My brother and I spent, like, all our time playing pool on a warped table, listening to Genesis...
posted by klangklangston 02 November | 11:55
Crazy For You" by Madonna was another one


That song magically turns me 13 again. I'm all decked out for the big jr. high dance (in a Gunne Sax dress, the height of fashion!), my arms draped around the neck of some awkward man/boy, trying to maintain 2 feet of distance between us even though he's at least a foot taller than me and can't quite figure out a "safe" place to rest his hands.

I am so glad I never, ever have to be that age again.
posted by jrossi4r 02 November | 11:59
How did jonmc get away with not posting to this thread? Dr. Johnny Fever, paging Dr. Fever! Get your sick ass in here, Jon!
posted by Eideteker 02 November | 15:26
I just ate collard greens || Ask MetaChat:

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