A "No snakes wanted" sign? Surround your home with fire? Snake whacking day?

But seriously, they're more afraid of you yadda yadda yadda. Step carefully.

Mothballs. No joke.

Oh geez. Where do they hang out, jrossi? On the ground? I would be buying boots right this very second.

*starts digging moat*

Riki Tiki Tavies 'R' Us?

(And when you find one, let me know!)

rik nik nik

When I was in high school, I was a counselor at this nature camp thingy. I was a bad counselor. Anyway, I DID get to see the coolest thing in my entire life, which was a sqirrel fighting with a rattlesnake. That squirrel was bananas, he was like the Rocky Balboa of squirrels. I recommend you promote squirrel colonies on your property.

Note:
1) I want to spell it sqirrel
2) The word 'squirrel' has lost all semantic meaning for me.

They usually hang out near the creek--which is a couple of blocks downhill from our house.

Specklet--where do I put the mothballs?

Does making noise scare them off, or is that just bears?

Muddgirl, how would I go about starting a colony of Riot Sqirrrrls?

Mudpuppie, I'm sure we can get a volume discount.

jrossi4r: Do you see them swimming ever? If you see them actually in the water, then they are likely NOT copperheads, but Eastern Banded Water snakes. They have very similar markings, but only the copperheads (normally found in very dry areas with a lot of leaf cover) are venomous...

As a kid growing up we realized that it takes a lot of annoying a copperhead with a stick before it gets angry enough to strike...

I just read this whole page. Someone swears by Cocker Spaniels and says they're natural Copperhead hunters. Has anyone ever heard this? Because I would definitely get one.

A cocker spaniel bit me for my 12th birthday.

Maybe because you're edible?

Long anecdote alert:

About 45 minutes south of Austin, there is a tourist trap that's been there for god-knows-how long: Snake Farm. (No, not The Snake Farm. Just "Snake Farm.")

For a while, the yellow "I Visited Snake Farm" bumper stickers were as ubiquitous in the middle south as Wall Drug bumper stickers were in the midwest, or Mystery Spot bumper stickers in the west. Maybe they still are. I'd like to think so, anyway.

Being terrified of the slithery things, as we've already discussed, I never stopped there. At some point after graduating from college, though, I felt that it was something I needed to do. I mean, it's pretty much a cultural institution. Also, I love dinky roadside attractions.

So I sucked it up, and I went. The place was wicked depressing. Snake cages stacked 3 and 4 deep, a rattlesnake pit, and a mismatched collection of sad and ill mammals out back (which I hope to god the SPCA has rescued by now).

Anyway, I paid my $3 bucks, bought my bumper sticker, and felt emptily satisfied by the experience.

When I got back to the office and told my coworkers that I'd stopped, my buddy Lou told me a behind-the-scenes story I'd never heard.

According to local legend, Snake Farm is where many Central Texas boys go to be, um, deflowered. Rumor was that the owner, or owner's wife, or someone, ran a second business out of the back of the place. According to Lou, after you toured Snake Farm, you were to go to the gift shop counter and say to the clerk, "I want to see the anaconda."

The clerk would reply, "Which anaconda?"

"The green anaconda."

And apparently, sex would ensue.

I always kinda wanted to go back and try it, except for the snake thing.

Or maybe he was just pulling my leg?

*boggles unsteadily at mudpuppie's anecdote, though smiling*

I've had a handful of encounters with venomous snakes - mostly diamondbacks and other rattlers. My advice may be colored by this, but the general advice should stand.

Check out your local nature centers or museums, or look for snake club events. Learn about the snakes in your area. They're fairly predictable animals. They're not (usually) supernatural or anything. The more you know, the better you'll be able to predict and manage any encounter, and the less likely it will be that you'll panic during the encounter.

Wear boots when hiking and walking, and long pants if possible. Watch the ground, your path, and your feet - not the scenery. If you want to look around at stuff stop first in a clear area.

Carry a walking stick. In narrow sections of trail lined with brush and rock you can tap along the trail in front of you on either side - as with a blind person's staff.

Do check your shoes and clothes before putting them on - especially if camping.

Don't put your feet our hand into places you can't see. Don't put them near places you can't see into, through, or under.

Wear gloves, boots and long sleeved shirts and pants when doing heavy yardwork or other bushwhacking.

Keep doors, windows and entryways to your house are closed or well-screened. Make sure all access ports, holes, or vents to the house and subfloor are properly screened, grated or patched. Make sure your internal walls are properly sealed and patched. Manage, move or eliminate vermin or food sources like rodents or large insects.

If you do encounter a snake indoors, attempt to contain it as safely as possible. This can be as simple as closing a closet or room door or backing away from the snake and observing the area or the snake to ensure it hasn't left. Call 911 or the police. They often have the phone numbers to local herpetologists and snake rescue groups that will come and rescue the snake.

Unless it's a green anaconda.

What loquacious said, plus keep in mind that almost all people bitten by snakes are bitten while trying to kill them. Thay are more scared of you than you are of them, but they have the fangs and venom and stuff so, if it comes to a fight, you are going to lose. Badly.

I'm not afraid of getting bitten. I'm afraid of just seeing the damn thing. And now that loquacious has mentioned sealing my home, I am paralyzed with the realization that they can get in!! (Seriously..I think I need an ativan.)

And mudpuppie, does your "I visited the Snake Farm" get you lots of lecherous attention?

Dear Sir,

Please send me two mongooses.
Please send me two mongeese.
Please send me a mongoose.

While you're at it, please send me another one.

Yours, etc.,

And mudpuppie, does your "I visited the Snake Farm" get you lots of lecherous attention?

jrossi -- only after I tell the story.

While you're at it, please send me another one.

Made me laugh.

Me too. A lot.