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14 October 2005

Best of AskMe: I don't know, what does it mean when a man puts on an anal sex video on a first date?
You're in luck?
posted by Hugh Janus 14 October | 16:27
Means he's not sponge-worthy.
posted by mudpuppie 14 October | 16:28
Depends, was he looking to pitch or catch?
posted by arse_hat 14 October | 16:30
Soooo, Tom, tell me a little bit about yourself, I mean I know you like buttfuckin', but really, who is Tom?
posted by Divine_Wino 14 October | 16:30
I wouldn't turn my back on a guy like that.
posted by jrossi4r 14 October | 16:31
I wouldn't have shaken his hand when I left.
posted by ColdChef 14 October | 16:43
Nice double-entendre there, jrossi4r.
posted by me3dia 14 October | 16:45
Hey, uhhh, I'm a gonna go grill up this steak, you, uhhhh, stay here and watch this porno. Not your style? What, you like it in the back then? No?
Oh. Well, come back soon, y'hear?
posted by Edible Energy 14 October | 16:48
C'mon, it was a brand new tape. He didn't want any of the fast-forward/rewind tape stretches to ruin her pleasure. How can you people not respect that?
posted by danostuporstar 14 October | 16:51
Wow, SLoG is getting all kinds of love. I must admit sharing it with a couple of non-mefite friends myself.
posted by danostuporstar 14 October | 16:58
Sounds like my kind of guy.
posted by WolfDaddy 14 October | 17:22
This is a high risk / high reward dating style.
posted by mullacc 14 October | 17:25
This is probably how he finds all of his submissive women who let him boff them in every hole but the one she would really enjoy.

Or maybe he's never actually had a woman alone in his house?

Or maybe he has several women in his house all the time -- in the freezer.

I can't believe Mary didn't fear for her life. Or maybe she did.

Creepy. What a bizarre AskMeFi.
posted by teece 14 October | 17:43
I don't care at all about Tom. Why would Mary sit there and politely watch an oral-sex porn video if it made her uncomfortable? Why would she sit there and watch an anal sex porn video if it made her uncomfortable?
posted by muddgirl 14 October | 17:46
VHS or Betamax?
posted by AlexReynolds 14 October | 17:51
Maybe she got wrapped up in the story?
posted by gigawhat? 14 October | 18:00
I'm surprised how many people think I am making this up.

I'm not surprised that people think Mary is lying but she and husband Dave work the graveyard shift together. You know how that goes. Lots of time to kill. An easy exchange of intimate details.

I'm not even sure it was appropriate to post on AskMe, but it really took me aback and I was questioning my own reaction since Mary seemed so nonchalant about the whole thing. Bottom line is I think that Mary is deluding herself if she thinks Tom is her friend. That just isn't something a friend would do.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy 14 October | 19:16
SLoG I'm not sure if it was apropriate, but it was great :P

I feel kind of bad for both Mary and Tom, but oh well.
posted by delmoi 14 October | 22:13
Also, how does Mary even know Tom?
posted by delmoi 14 October | 22:14
They met at the video store.
posted by caddis 14 October | 22:19
Don't apologize, SLoG! That post will be the stuff of legend.
posted by LarryC 14 October | 22:23
SLoG: I think it was completely appropriate to post it. Seems like one of those out of the blue moments when you are left asking yourself "are they crazy or is it me" and you need input from unconnected sources just to be sure it's them and not you. Plus, it made for an entertaining thread with no harm to the subjects being discussed. Do let us know how things develop (please!).
posted by Carbolic 14 October | 22:35
that was a lot of reading but even if just for the tangents--

i don't think mary is lying and i think first favorite part was the "i can't bring myself to use their names because they are the same as my parents"--

i have so much to say i have to pull back first--
and Dinklage is on
posted by ethylene 14 October | 22:36
I vote RUN.
posted by puddinghead 14 October | 22:55
SLoG - no apologies. That question will live in infamy.

From what you said about Mary, I think she's fairly naive and (maybe too) forgiving. Tom's just weird. I wouldn't want to be alone with the man.
posted by deborah 14 October | 23:28
The rest of the evening was anti-climactic
I can't imagine why.
posted by dg 15 October | 06:04
"--for the sake of tom and mary--"
random stray anecdotes:

There was this guy i was working with on a few intense projects and we took a break to go to a lake one night. While we were sitting on the shore, he decides he's going in the water and strips down completely naked and gets in. Intentions were pretty clear (well beforehand as well, but not like this).
i continued conversing, speaking of how unclean the water may be and how there were in fact parasites in existence that could swim up into a man's urethra and how one guy in the amazon encountered the kind that swam up his urinal flow and--
--he decided to get out of the water and get dressed.
[the rest of the story is far more interesting and i'm meant to put it in one of the ufo threads somewhere]
We remained good friends and still are, although we haven't been in touch for ages. (i hope he's ok but i think hollywood may have got the worst of him)

i was working with another guy way early in the webpage making days and had some ok times hanging out but besides his gothygeek problems (the culminations of which may amuse in another thread someday), i get a call at five in the morning with him hostile asking "when i was going to do him"
"Excuse me, but what the hell are you talking about? I have a boyfriend."
"If you were my boyfriend, would you want me to do you? What the hell kind of person would I be then, and is that the kind of person you think I am or the kind of person you want as a girlfriend or what?"
"Exactly what are you trying to say here?"
"Why are you calling me at five in the morning?"
sparing both him and you all the rest, i let him mumble his way off the phone and we were friends as much as we ever were.
he eventually spazzed out one too many times about other things and i decided not to bother knowing him anymore.
if i ran into him again, i'd treat him as decently as anyone.

oh there are lots of far worse/amusing stories, but besides all that, need i remind people that people who enjoy a lot of porn become inured and tend to lose perspective in many ways, besides other people's stygmatization of porn.
Think of that episode of "Friends" when Joey and Chandler are getting free porn and then start wondering why when they order pizza the delivery girl doesn't get naked
or much better the episode of "Coupling" when the guy who replaced Jeff hasn't had a date in so long, his apartment has become "pornified"

example after example could be made, but if this guy is someone who is a friend of whatever level (it doesn't sound like they're best friends), people forgive the many many gaffes of protocol one bears witness to
and it's a tail to tell

yeah, my first reaction was "Travis?" and "uh oh--"
but if this is a story of what happened once, whether or not she has nudged him without a lack of tact or open embarassment towards her disinclination, it seems things are ok.

nothing wrong with the post, but why get involved?

by pure coincidence, shitmat's Stickthespamupyourasstillithur has started playing. it starts with a southpark sample of "Did you ever put anything in your butt?"
"What do you mean? Like money?"
posted by ethylene 15 October | 07:50
that was "Did he--"
sorry to interrupt
posted by ethylene 15 October | 08:16

I just wanted to post to let everyone know that I am "Tom." I don't feel I did anything inappropriate as Porn is perfectly natural and healthy. If any of the fine ladies of metachat would like to give me a call, email me
posted by drezdn 15 October | 12:39
The Patrick Bateman of bunnies || I'm off to the woods for the weekend...