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MetaChat is an informal place for MeFites to touch base and post, discuss and chatter about topics that may not belong on MetaFilter. Questions? Check the FAQ. Please note: This is important.

03 October 2005

Metachat: Milksop hangout or Nice Guy clubhouse?
post by: Divine_Wino at: 12:00 | 91 comments
Sanctuary!
posted by Hugh Janus 03 October | 12:06
That's correct, we are humourless weenies and pansies. We spend all day having group-cries and knitting. If someone says a swear, there is collective pants wetting.
posted by Capn 03 October | 12:08
Uhhh... who's been banned from mecha for being an asshole?
posted by muddgirl 03 October | 12:11
I don't know, but the new logo sucks.
posted by Wolfdog 03 October | 12:12
kwantsar is a poopoo head. There, I've said it.

(I think that'll put a quick kibosh on any "milksop" rumors, don't you?)
posted by taz 03 October | 12:14
*wets pants*
posted by Capn 03 October | 12:18
Collectively?

*notices a certain dampness*
posted by Hugh Janus 03 October | 12:19
*swaggers, spits*
posted by taz 03 October | 12:19
Sometimes I'm an asshole and you all love me? Right? Right? Hello?
posted by dame 03 October | 12:21
(clearly I haven't had enough coffee to manipulate question marks)
posted by dame 03 October | 12:21
It would be the basest form of hypocrisy for me not to love you, dame.
posted by Hugh Janus 03 October | 12:29
We all love you dame and I'm pretty sure that we are ALL sometimes assholes.

*pees, knits clean pair of underwear*
posted by LeeJay 03 October | 12:31
Some here are never assholes, some are sometimes assholes (or more likely rough around the edges, salty or tart, me I like that a bunch). There is much less reflexive look at me one-upmanship here than there. I skip things I find too cute for me, while smiling happily that it gives pleasure to others.

I love a good fist fight as long as there are no low blows. Metafilter is in a high dickish phase right now, I have too many examples to site, such is life.

I was wondering if compiling an enemies list* would indicate that I was crazy+ and what the lowest barrier to entry onto said list should be?

* I find that I can admire certain things about people that I consider total bastards. Like Nixon's enemies list, which probably contained a fair number of people that I would hold dear, but somehow you just know that motherfucker would have gotten around to everyone on it, given the time. I like that. I don't believe in Justice, I wish I didn't believe in revenge.

+I'm thinking as a general philosophy of enemies lists, something Hannibal Lecterish, forgive all big tresspasses and ruthlessly seek revenge for all small slights, thoughts?


Confidential to Dame: I'm glad you are such a DL niceroony, it takes allmost all of the nettle out and leaves the lemon zest.

posted by Divine_Wino 03 October | 12:34
Like I give a big fat bunny poop if I'm a milksop. At least that "person" didn't call us milquetoasts.

The revenge thing is attractive. I shall ponder.
posted by puddinghead 03 October | 12:37
+I'm thinking as a general philosophy of enemies lists, something Hannibal Lecterish, forgive all big tresspasses and ruthlessly seek revenge for all small slights, thoughts?

Well, you know what they say: think globally, act locally.
posted by LeeJay 03 October | 12:41
Penis.
posted by muddgirl 03 October | 12:42
In order to combat the "unmanly" tone around here, I officially challenge muddgirl to a penis waving contest. I know that neither of us actually have penises but I'm sure we could get our hands on some if necessary.
posted by LeeJay 03 October | 12:46
It also has the banhammer, which has seen similar levels of use to MeFi, if not more (being an arsehole is a potentially bannable offence there).

This is the part I didn't understand. What have people been banned for? What constitutes arsehole-ness? And how do we know when we have reached (or exceeded) that state of arsehole-ness?
posted by leftcoastbob 03 October | 12:52
Excuse me, where do the volunteers line up for the penis-waving contest?
posted by yhbc 03 October | 12:53
Wavers to the left, wavees to the right.
posted by Wolfdog 03 October | 12:56
The only bans have been related to the #mefi mayhem at the very beginning. In other words - no bans of any regular members. And there's been one time-out.
posted by taz 03 October | 12:57
Sheesh. Talk about a race to the bottom. Of Mefi, not here. I don't think here has a bottom. Or should.
posted by warbaby 03 October | 13:12
Excellent observation, warbaby.
posted by puddinghead 03 October | 13:13
The only bans have been related to the #mefi mayhem


The Mefi Mayhem were one of my favorite Sid and Marty Kroft rock bands.
posted by Slack-a-gogo 03 October | 13:16
I have a bottom! I hope everyone here does. I would like to pinch them. Can we line up for that on the other side of the room from the penis wavers?

*pees, knits clean pair of underwear*


LeeJay, can you knit the undies from cashmere? Because it's the only thing I can think of that would make the glory of winter even more fun. Well that and dirt-resistant snow.
posted by dame 03 October | 13:18
I have a bottom! I hope everyone here does.

I don't. As anyone who's seen me in person can tell you, I am the epitome of the no-ass whiteboy.
posted by jonmc 03 October | 13:26
I have a bottom! I hope everyone here does. I would like to pinch them.

I have a bottom but he's vacationing in Miami right now. He does love a good pinch though.

LeeJay, can you knit the undies from cashmere?

Well, I was going to make them out of burlap and wool but I guess I could give cashmere a try.
posted by LeeJay 03 October | 13:31
It may be concave, but it's there, jon. Just because you can't see bacteria . . .
posted by dame 03 October | 13:31
I say we create a page honoring kwantsar, a page of nothing but loaves of bread and glasses of milk. And his name.
posted by me3dia 03 October | 13:32
It may be concave,

It's concave? This is worse than I thought. Perhaps I need to rent myself out as a human cereal bowl.
posted by jonmc 03 October | 13:33
Whose penis can I wave? Anyone?

posted by gaspode 03 October | 13:38
Don't you have a husband?
posted by dame 03 October | 13:42
....laughing so hard!

Leejay.. ohhh my! .. in Miami... heeee!
posted by reflecked 03 October | 13:44
Dame.. would that be a "circle-pinch"? I'll go blunt my nails.

The cereal-bowl ass is an image i'll cherish.
posted by reflecked 03 October | 13:46
It's concave? This is worse than I thought. Perhaps I need to rent myself out as a human cereal bowl.
The idea of someone eating Coco Pops out of your arse makes me feel quite ill.
posted by dodgygeezer 03 October | 13:50
...but that wouldn't be a MeCha penis, dame. Context is all.
posted by gaspode 03 October | 13:50
I'm all bottom.
posted by Hugh Janus 03 October | 13:54
The idea of someone eating Coco Pops out of your arse makes me feel quite ill.
Oh My God. I have tears in my eyes from laughing.
posted by iconomy 03 October | 13:54
Penis.
posted by greasy_skillet 03 October | 13:56
...but that wouldn't be a MeCha penis, dame. Context is all.


But if *you* were waving it, then it would be. I mean, there's a lot of ladies here. If we had to only wave pre-MeCha'd penises, there could be a lot of fighting.

(In case though, I call Hugh's. He won't miss it. He's all bottom.)
posted by dame 03 October | 13:58
I knit some penis protectors for all of the guys here. NOW who's milksoppy? Huh?

Yeah, I thought so. Pay no mind to the fact that the image is labeled "finger puppets". These things are penis protectors. Manly ones.
posted by iconomy 03 October | 14:00
Ha! I love them, iconomy.

that's a valid point, dame. Although maybe jonmc just has to shake his CoCo Pop-encrusted ass to scare everyone away.
posted by gaspode 03 October | 14:03
Iconomy, that's fuckin' awesome.
posted by dame 03 October | 14:03
Can I get mine like a bunny iconomy? Wif widdle bunny-wunny ears?

posted by Capn 03 October | 14:04
Oh, yeah, iconomy, those are great (you can knit bigger ones, right?).
posted by puddinghead 03 October | 14:10
Well, shit does this mean that I have to take off the ass-less chaps that I wear while posting to MeCha?

Online and IRL, I try to keep my personal asshole quotient to a low level and tend to focus on irony and absurdity due to the abundance both in the world at large. Why let it go to waste? I share the copious observations of my inner asshole - actually she's called the 'Vicious Little Bitch' - with close friends and in a document file called 'Letters Never Sent'. The best thing I've found about keeping the VLB in check is that when I do give her the microphone, it leaves an impression. It's all about choosing one's battles and, frankly, online pissing contests are rarely battleworthy.

And why're we even on their snark radar? It's like an NBA player getting all self-righteous & self congratulatory in comparing himself to a bunch of street ball players. Similar equipment, similar set up, but different game, thanks.
posted by Frisbee Girl 03 October | 14:13
*gets out clipboard, clears throat*

All of those who wish to wave penises, please line up over here. All those who wish to offer up their penises to be waved, please stand here. All bottoms who wish to receive penises please bend over and brace yourselves. And all bottoms who wish to receive pinches may offer themselves up to dame in the back.

At this point, we are only allowing fully authorized Metachat penises to be waved although it would probably be a good idea to build up a group of reserve penises who can fill in. Anyone with carpal tunnel must sign the release form before beginning to penis wave. And please grip your penises firmly. We don't want them getting away from you. The last thing we need is someone getting beaned in the eye with an errant cock.

Penis protectors are available to those of you who need them. See inconomy for details.
posted by LeeJay 03 October | 14:13
Or iconomy even. Sorry iconomy!
posted by LeeJay 03 October | 14:14
Frisbee Girl, you are now wearing assless chaps as you saunter around, blowing kisses and winks at my mind's eye.

Oh my, now you're grumbling and taking them off. Sweet!
posted by Hugh Janus 03 October | 14:16
I didn't really knit them. You guys are so gullible.

But to make it up to you, here is a picture of a penis rabbit.
posted by iconomy 03 October | 14:20
AHAHA! That penis rabbit is brilliant.
posted by LeeJay 03 October | 14:21
≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by dodgygeezer 03 October | 14:25
*hands penis back to Hugh*
posted by dame 03 October | 14:26
Aren't all chaps assless?
posted by gaspode 03 October | 14:26
I'm so confused.

*gets in closest line*
posted by danostuporstar 03 October | 14:26
i can't even read the offending line but i can never figure out why "we" have to be a collective anything

now i have to find my crochet hook and figure out what "costume" to make
posted by ethylene 03 October | 14:31
'pode, yes, all chaps are ass-less, but you aren't supposed to wear them ass-lessly in the ring. Slapping bare cheeks against a saddle would be a mite bit chafing.

*winks at Hugh, puts on girlie boxers*
posted by Frisbee Girl 03 October | 14:36
LeeJay, I'm not sure I can be trusted with a penis right now, and no offense to dame, but the pinching thing just won't fly. I respectfully submit a request for a bum waving category. Or goosing. Goosing is good.
posted by Frisbee Girl 03 October | 14:42
All bottoms, please commence waving.
posted by LeeJay 03 October | 14:46
Trusted with a penis? Are you gonna break it?
posted by dame 03 October | 14:46
Throw you ass in the air 'n wave it like you just don't care/and if you're soppin' milk in clean underwear/somebody say OH YEAH!
posted by Divine_Wino 03 October | 14:49
≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by LeeJay 03 October | 14:51
What am I gonna do with this thing, dame? You keep it. I insist.
posted by Hugh Janus 03 October | 14:53
i think of mecha as most of the people i like on mefi, without most of the douchenozzles that make mefi suck....besides, you all still like me, even though i've been a sad bastard for a while...

*offers penis to be waved*
posted by Schyler523 03 October | 15:04
Throw you ass in the air 'n wave it like you just don't care/and if you're soppin' milk in clean underwear/somebody say OH YEAH!


OH YEAH!

The penis, is cozy
the outlook, is rosy
And now I, will mosey

In chaps more assless than jonmc
MC Jon, tell them who we be!
posted by Capn 03 October | 15:07
now that i finally read it:
i think the "pronouncements from on high" crap is what gets people all riled up all over
*sheesh*
someone find a woolly binder for the drip
posted by ethylene 03 October | 15:09
Douchenozzles! That's great!

Hey, go check the thread again. Weretable has thrown down the gauntlet!

*pulls up a chair, covers ears just in case*
posted by puddinghead 03 October | 15:10
What am I gonna do with this thing, dame? You keep it. I insist.


Yay!
posted by dame 03 October | 15:13
What am I gonna do with this thing, dame?

Well, it's too late now, seeing as dame's gonna keep it, but I could have shown you a few things, Hugh.
posted by Specklet 03 October | 15:14
Oh, I have a to-do list, believe you me. Some items need the whole Hugh, though. Fortunately, he's an easy bike ride away.
posted by dame 03 October | 15:15
*whines* Lucky!
posted by Specklet 03 October | 15:29
Trusted with a penis? Are you gonna break it?

In a sense, quite possibly.
posted by Frisbee Girl 03 October | 15:32
Well, it does require going to Queens, Specklet. And Queens is scary.
posted by dame 03 October | 15:33
Ladies, there's plenty of Capn over here just going to waste.
posted by Capn 03 October | 15:36
*attends to the Capn*
posted by LeeJay 03 October | 15:45
My day is made.
posted by Hugh Janus 03 October | 15:59
In chaps more assless than jonmc
MC Jon, tell them who we be!

We are the kings of Lithotripsy!*

And Queens is scary.

Yes, it is! Because I live there! MWAHAHA!

*mine of which has been definitively scheduled for thursday at 1pm in Manhattan. Pray for Mojo.
posted by jonmc 03 October | 16:01
i thought I was the voice of metachat
and i eschew milk and sopping
*bristles*
posted by ethylene 03 October | 16:03
i thought I was the voice of metachat
and i eschew milk and sopping
*bristles*

*Pats down the bristles*

Easy there, ethylene. If there is no collective we, there can be no one voice. I'm afraid you'll have to pick your penis, I mean 'poison' in this case.
posted by Frisbee Girl 03 October | 16:13
but i'm still trying to get rid of one
posted by ethylene 03 October | 16:15
speaking of which:
how does one "invert a penis"?
seriously
posted by ethylene 03 October | 16:16
mine of which has been definitively scheduled for thursday at 1pm in Manhattan.

Good luck sir.
posted by Capn 03 October | 16:18
how does one "invert a penis"?

I have heard, but am unwilling to self-experiment, that one simply concentrates and imagines oneself standing in a sunken living room in Van Nuys about five feet behind Rip Taylor as he does lusty naked squat thrusts, one must be sure to focus especially on the audio portion of this, which includes grunts, gurgles and whinnies. I also heard that it works on gay dudes too and that it should only be used in the direst of emergencies.
posted by Divine_Wino 03 October | 16:29
but in reality
[Rip Taylor] doesn't even know me
It was just my imagination, once again
Running away with me...
posted by Hugh Janus 03 October | 16:42
Geeez, Divine_Wino, my penis just inverted with that mental picture. *shudder*

Penis
posted by deborah 03 October | 17:43
The only bans have been related to the #mefi mayhem at the very beginning. In other words - no bans of any regular members.
That is what I was referring to - the epitome of arseholeishness is being an arsehole just because you can. Perhaps I should have been clearer in my comment (perhaps I should do that often).

What I was really getting at was that the sort of behaviour that is getting far more common on MeFi is not welcome here. I got a bit pissed off at the comment that MeCha is intended as a place for trash links and went off half-cocked.

I am a bad person.
posted by dg 03 October | 18:31
I am a bad person.

*sops dg's milk*

You are not a bad person. I got what you were trying to say. I bristled at scarabic's comment too but I gave up on arguing on Mefi a while back. Instead, I come here and make penis jokes and all is right with the world again.
posted by LeeJay 03 October | 18:44
Attention Metafiltarians: Yes, we are milksops. Please do not come over here. We thrive on bad links and gratuitous hugs. We prefer the colour pink to all other colours. If we knew you personally, we'd be the annoying soppy friend you can never get rid of. TAKE NO CHANCES. For your own sanity and the sanity of the blue, grey and green, STAY AWAY. You wouldn't like it, and chances are the experience would scar you in frightening ways.
posted by seanyboy 03 October | 19:06
I can't believe I waited until now to read this thread. It made my day.
posted by mudpuppie 03 October | 19:12
In defense of no one, but from many years of professional experience, I would like to suggest that perhaps the most judicious comments do not take place at 4am Sunday, the commenter's local time:
posted by scarabic at 3:58 AM PST on October 2


Jus' sayin'.
posted by Frisbee Girl 03 October | 19:23
i agree but feel grrr grr grrr right now
and said so
posted by ethylene 03 October | 19:30
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