Holy crap! I was just about to post this very same post!

Ah, I see the mind meld worked! Now, why do I suddenly two noses?

[have two noses]

Lost me on the nose thing, 'puppie. Mind meld incomplete.

I wake up before the alarm goes off then go back to sleep. Then the alarm wakes me up; i turn it off and go back to sleep. Then i wake up and think that Ive got about another half-hour of bedtime left or ill ruin the routine and think it would be nice just to lie in bed and think about the day. When i next wake up I get up, grab a towel and take a shower. Five minutes later Im out the door for work.

My morning routine is so...routine. My husband kisses me goodbye every morning at 5 AM as he's leaving for work. I turn on the news and drift back to sleep for a bit, and at 6:15 my son wakes me up. This is a new and welcome development, because since he was in kindergarten, I've been waking him up, and it's been really unpleasant, because he wakes up angry. At me. He's in high school now and sets his clock and wakes up by himself, so he has no one to be angry with - cool. So he goes and takes a shower and I make him breakfast and pack his lunch while he gets ready. I have tea while he eats, and we watch some MTV together until it's time for him to go. So now it's 6:45 and I don't have to be at work until 9 AM. What to do? I either go back to sleep, play a video game, or go online. I'm not going to do anything productive at 6:45 AM, you know? At 8 I do the shower/get dressed thing, and leave for work.

Wake up to NPR on the alarm clock. Lower the volume. Put on glasses, then promptly take them off before getting in the shower. Shower (include toothbrushing). Dry.

Put on boxers and pants. Put on deodorant. While waiting for deodorant to dry, glance at the computer. Put on a t-shirt, then go to the kitchen to grab a beverage and stick something in the toaster oven.

While waiting for the toaster oven, put on a business-casual shirt of some kind. Then, drink the beverage and eat the newly-toasted breakfast while seated in front of the computer.

Notice that I'm perilously close to running late for work. Put on shoes, grab my bag from the floor and a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Get in the car and go.

I wake up to NPR, which I can barely hear through the earplugs. I find my glasses—hopefully the cat hasn't knocked them on the floor trying to wake me up. I stumble to the dresser through the piles of clothes on the floor. I find a clean pair of boxers and yell "do you need the shower?" If the answer is "yes," I fall back in bed and wait to hear the shower stop running. If the answer is "no," I stumble in there and take my shower. Only then can I check in on you folks. No breakfast until I'm fully awake—usually when I get to work around 11.

A typical morning at Chez Specklet:

Alarm goes off. I tell myself I can snooze once. After snoozing three times, I realize that I'm going to be late and I hop out of bed.

Cursing the morning chill and the fact that I can't find my robe, I open the blinds (taking the risk that the neighbors won't be staring in my window at my naked self) and scamper to the bathroom.

I turn on the shower, and while the water warms up, I brush my teeth quickly and admire the mohawk my hair has formed during the night. Shower commenses. I dry off, put gel in my hair, blow it dry. (This is still a novelty, as until recently, I had a shaved head. For about ten years.) Apply: moisturizer, deodorant, perfume (mmm, coriander and coconut oils).

Don jeans, shirt, sweater and/or jacket.

Take various pills, put some pills in pocket for later. Drink a lot of water. Put earings in pocket, since we're running out of time because of the snoozing. (I always forget to put these in. In fact, my earings are in my pocket right now.)

Grab shoes and bag. Check for keys, phone, wallet, and book.

Walk swiftly to bustop. Miss the 8.12 due to snoozing the alarm. While waiting for the 8.16, apply lipstick.

Read on bus. Catch second bus. Read on bus. In office, turn on computer, get tea, juice or soy milk, and check mail.

Check on youse guys.

Morning Edition tries to wake me up through four snoozes. Then the beeping commences.

Head to the bathroom, open the door again for the cat that gets fed extra food in there (he's too skinny, the other one's too fat), read a bit while on the toilet. Flush, run the hot water in the sink and soak my hair (I shower at night). Dry and comb, then open the door to let the cat out and the girlfriend in. Back to bedroom to give her privacy, get mostly dressed. Don glasses. Fill the cats' bowl and give'em fresh water. Finish dressing, head back to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Back out to fill my pockets (billfold, keys, change, pen, cellphone) and put on my shoes.

Run downstairs to collect the paper, back up, pack my bag and head out the back door to the car.

Alarm. Towel, bathroom. Water: hot, cold, just right. Shampoo, conditioner, soap. Towel. Shaving cream, razor. Toothpaste, toothbrush. Underpants, undershirt. Shirt, socks, pants, belt. Wallet, keys, three quarters: left front pocket. Phone, ID card: right front pocket. Door, lock it. Front door, cross street. Jackson Ave. Diner - Spanish and American Food: two eggs on a roll - $1.75, smile from pretty counter-girl. Half a block, office building door, pass ID check. Elevator. Work.

Snuggle dog. Take out mouth guard. Pee. Feed cat. Let dog out. Pour coffee. Plug in hair stuff. Check email. Have more coffee. Get dressed. Hair, makeup. Throw together breffus and lunch and sodas and possibly gym bag. Pee. Check supplies of pills and cigs. Let dog in. Give dog biscut. Turn off lights. Leave house, lock door, get in car, go to work.

Oh my god, I don't have any shoes on!

Mudpuppie, do you really have chickens? A few years ago I had a neighbor with a rooster, and I still miss the wake-up call.

The alarm, across the room, goes off with NPR at 5:30. I get up and enjoy 30 minutes of mefi/mecha.
Then I go downstairs and put on the kettle. I pack my lunch. Normally, my eldest son comes down at 6:15 or so, and gets himself some breakfast.
I then change into gym clothes. By that point, the kettle is ready, and I crush the cardamom, cinnamon and pepper for our chai.
I pour the chai and time it for 5 minutes. While it steeps, I mix the sugar and milk in two cups, one a travel mug.
I pour in the chai, cap my travel mug, and bring the other mug up to put on my wife's bedside table.
I get my clothes for work and brush my teeth, and I'm off to the Y for 2 miles of treadmill, situps and upper body work.
I then shower and change, drive to the T station and ride ~40 mins into work.

angels awaken me by gently blowing in my ear, and a brilliant white light bathes me in glorious renewal. after immersing myself for a while in tingly pulses of joyous rapture, i contemplate my daily leisure. love and happiness engulf me in shuddering bursts of ecstacy as i gorge myself on thick slabs of rich, fulfilling contentment.

why do you ask?

q, your discipline is impressive! If I diddle with my naughty bits in the morning, I run the risk of not getting out of bed at all.

Alarm at 6.45, Get up at 6.55, shower, towel dry, put on underwears (so the rest of me can air dry) wake up husband at 7.10. breakfast while sitting in front of computer for half an hour, till husband leaves for work. Dry hair, brush teeth, put on clothes, make lunch, leave around 8ish for 5 train uptown. transfer to the 21 bus in the Bronx, make it to work by 9.15.

I don't understand you people who get up in the morning long before you leave the house. What's all this hanging about, eating breakfast thing?

Half awake 30 times during night when one cat or another decides it's time to shove butt in my face or checks to see if I am alive or whatever it is that they're doing. Wake up on own via internal alarm clock, put in retainer that I took out in my sleep, grab loptop on way to bathroom. Check email and news. Shower, shampoo and brush teeth at same time. Look in mirror and screech with horror. Throw clothing on. Look for keys. Count pets, contemplate eating, decide not to, grab backpack, go. Commute by car 11 miles in 45 minutes. One hour from waking to arriving to work.

Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays: Wake up and jump out of bed when alarm goes off. Set alarm for SO. Check metachat and mefi. Think about taking a shower, decide to just put hair up in ponytail. Get dressed. Read some webcomics. Realize I'm now 5 minutes late. Throw together bag, brush teeth, pee, run out the door. If I'm not late, I get some good coffee. If I am late, I get some baaad coffee.

Tuesdays and Thursdays: Wake up when SO leaves. Roll over and sleep for another half hour. Wake up from bad dream. Get up and stare at work I should be doing. Check here and mefi. Throw on some clothes, brush teeth, pee. Look at work again. Read some webcomics. Shower. Get dressed (again) and go to lunch.

This weekend morning, got up at 7.30am, switched the kettle on, turned computer on, fed the cat. Poured myself a cup of tea, checked emails, read news site, mefi and mecha and other sites. Then went back to bed for a couple of hours, after getting up for the second time, will spend the day outdoors, it's going to be a beautiful day. On a workday morning, get up between 6 and 7am, shower (etc), breakfast, log on for about 30 minutes, get dressed, make up and leave for work between 8 and 8.30am, get to work by 9am at the latest.

They should make a Fris Alarm Clock cos that sure would get me up.

I wish I had a routine. I'm lucky if I remember to do half of what you all do before leaving the house. On the other hand, you could never accuse me of being in a rut.

Wake up some time between 4 a.m. and 9 a.m. (basically, about six hours after whenever it was I fell asleep, and that usually makes it between 5-7 a.m.). Drink water and put the coffee on (stovetop espresso maker). Brush teeth, hair, wash face. [Here's where I'm supposed to do about 20 min. of simple yoga and stretching exercises. Sometimes I do.] Grab coffee (ahhhhh... that smells great!) and turn on computer. Check email, mecha, mefi for a while. Get second cup of coffee. Important bit: Right now is when I need to solve any any problem I couldn't work out the day before: figure out the CSS I couldn't make work, do any editing that might need to be done, anything tricky or complicated, because I'm really, really smart for a couple of hours here. Make more coffee. [Here's where I should change out of my pajamas, and sometimes I do]. Around 9 or 10 a.m. make coffee for mr. taz (French press), make bed, wash dishes from the night before, maybe put in a load of laundry. [Here's where I should work on whatever freelance job I might have, and sometimes I do]. Actually end up changing out of pajamas around noon. End of morning.

...try to figure out where I am and how I got there.

Around 6:30 one dog starts whining to go out. Put pillow over head to drown out noise. Give up by 7:30 and let dogs out, cats in. On bad days the dogs start howling and I have to put on clothes and clogs and go drag them back in. On good days they are quiet. Meanwhile, the cats come and sit on bed and bite my ankles to remind me that they're hungry. Dogs come back in and sit by the bed and breathe anxiously. If I twitch they bark. I roll over and play dead. Sometimes this works, sometimes not. Usually by 9 they win and I get up, start the coffee and feed them. I am still gloriously unemployed, so I can make a real breakfast, sing to the animals, fire up the computer and smoke a morning cigarette all at my lovely leisure.

Since I work nights, I’m usually not home before 12:30 AM. Unwinding/writing for an hour or so puts me in bed around 1:30 or 2:00 most nights. Given that, I usually get up around 9:30 or 10. As soon as I stir, the dog hops up on the bed for good-morning scratches. My lovely SO, Science Girl, is most often already up and drinking coffee over the local newspaper. (The NY Times guy leaves our copy at the end of the driveway. Since SG is reluctant to be that visible in her PJs, I usually end up retrieving it.) Whoever gets up first feeds and waters the cat and refills the birdfeeder on the deck.

So: scratch the dog, get up, fumble for a flannel shirt to wear over my sleepwear (T-shirt and sweats), slippers on the feet, and then dog and I make our way downstairs. Get the Times, head for the kitchen. Put the kettle on, pour a bowl of cereal, sprinkle raisins over it & add milk, and fire up the computer. Chit chat with Science Girl while checking email and eating cereal. Make pot-sized cup of Irish Breakfast tea. Cereal bowl in dishwasher (in theory, anyway – it usually goes in the sink), over to the kitchen table to read the newspapers. All the while, the cat is playing his two favorite games: Inside/Outside and You Can’t Read Through A Cat, Can You?

When the paper is read and the tea is finished, go upstairs and put pants, shoes and socks on, but not in that order. The dog knows what this means & starts whimpering and dancing around. Go back downstairs, put harness on dog, attach leash, get poop bag, sling discman (pre-loaded with whatever CD I’m reviewing at the moment) over shoulder, remember to stick keys in my pocket and we’re off for our morning walk. If I’ve slept late (not common, but it does happen), we take the half-hour route; otherwise, it’s about fifteen minutes of sniffing, barking, peeing & pooping. For the dog, that is. I’m listening to the music and formulating whatever I’m gonna write about it.

The rest of the morning/afternoon consists of more chit chat, usually some email sent & received, lunch, another walk w/the dog, and occasionally some writing. Around 1, 1:30 or so I often nap for half an hour, then shower & shave & all that. Play with the dog a bit, give her a snack, kiss Science Girl, and I’m out the door & on my way to work around 2:45.

Do any other metachatters (besides dg) have any kids? I feel so old.

Mine is slowly evolving. Like bmarkey, I work nights, but since my street wakes up early, I usually do as well.

Right now, it goes like this:

Somewhere between 4:30 and 5:30, I wake up to use the loo and realize that I've fallen asleep with the laptop in bed with me, mid sentence and with my glasses/contacts still on. I visit the loo, hope to return to bed before I fully wake up. Fail. Muck about online. Fall asleep but remember to remove glasses/contacts. The rest of the morning consists of varied periods of being awake, drifting off to sleep, contemplating my navel, perfecting my plans for world domination and fantasizing that an entity existed for the sole purpose of administering full body massages and cooking my meals for me.

Lately, I've started taking walks with friends to this area, which poses its own unique set of joys and puzzles. And, no, no kidlets for me, thanks!

Do any other metachatters (besides dg) have any kids? I feel so old.

I don't, but if I had gone through with it when I had the compelling urge, my kids would be older than your kids. I didn't because the relationship wasn't stable... then, when I was in a relationship that was, the money was bad - too bad for me to blithely procreate. And now I'm too old.

But don't be sad for me, the combination of circumstances that have led to me being childless have also led to me being incredibly and happily self-indulgent, and the universe requires that there be a few of us in the world, just to keep things balanced. So, I feel I'm doing my part to add a little yin to the yang and keep us all from being sucked into a vortex of unbalanced humors. Or something.

Do any other metachatters have any kids?

* holds up crucifix, flicks holy water at iconomy *

I HAVE KIDS W/ BBQ SOSS TEHY ARE YUMY LOLX.

I always thought when i was younger that some lover and i would have adopted a special-needs kid or 2 by the time i was this age, but life hasn't worked out that way.

I wish I'd had kids, but I didn't want them until I was too old. I idly contemplate adopting, sometimes. Then I look at my disposable income and laugh heartily.

Disposable income? What the hell is that?

mr. gaspode and I will hopefully have kids in about 3 years, iconomy. We are embarrassingly conventional, I guess.