I would experiment with various dilutions of that pom -pomegranite juice. Wine is a pretty specific taste, 'owever. Generally when I wish to not drink and amuse my taste buds, I do things like that, mix juices with waters and tons of lemon or lime. I also just do the lots and lots of seltzer or mineral water thing.

Righto, Divine_Wino: pomegranate juice, particularly of the Azerbaijani variety, is rich in tannins and might give the lips the proper purse.

Also smoke grass.

I just love how the first answer comes from Divine_Wino.

You know I don't even really like wine that much, (I mean good wine is good with food, I'll drink it you know) but I am not really a connoisseurus of anything. I am named divine wino because the notion of the holy fool is one I like, also because I stand around garbage can fires in fingerless gloves and pee myself.

Divine_Wino, that seals the deal - you are my new official metachat crush.

You mean all this time I just had to pee myself?

Actually, it was the fingerless gloves.

bitey, tannin-rich yum taste

the Hush Puppie™ suede loafers come highly recommended.

I don't drink much, but I like to SMELL wine. If you do it with your mouth sort of open and kind of inhale through your mouth and nose at the same time, it's very gratifying but alcohol- free. If that does anything for ya.

Those loafers are quite tough though, and the Adolphs leaves them salty. Hmmm, speaking of salty, bitey, tannin-rich and for some people yum . . .

*hangs head in shame.

I haven't found many non-alcoholic beverages with that some sort of bite, but perhaps you'd enjoy very small servings of strong-tasting foods, a piece of bitter chocolate or a bit of flavorful cheese.

The non-alcoholic reds...not really very good if you have an advanced palate. I know this because I really wanted a glass of wine while preggers, so we opened a bottle of the non alcoholic kind. Bleh.

If, however, you aren't a wine snob, then the booze free versions might be ok?

Pom juice is a good suggestion! It's expensive, but then, so is wine. I'll get some this very evening.

I like the small bits of highly flavored foods idea, but the thing is: I tend to start downright snacking, and the ass, she's big enough.

I'm not a horrible wine snob... I like the really oakey merlots and the tannin-y pinot noirs, both of which you can buy cheap versions. I'll give a non-alky verison a whirl, but I don't have high hopes.

If you do it with your mouth sort of open and kind of inhale through your mouth and nose at the same time, it's very gratifying but alcohol-free.

That is mighty pleasant, but I don't think I have the self control to do that. It's kind of like having a sweet and naked boy in my bed: if we're hot for each other and snuggling, there's no way I can not have a taste.

Pom + soda water is very satisfying.

Cranberry juice too.

Pomegranate and carrot juice mix quite well, too, believe it or not.

I second the cranberry juice. It's got that acidic bite plus the sweetness. Cranberry/Rasberry Juice with Club Soda has a fantastic mouthfeel and is my booze substitute of choice. I haven't had a sip of booze in six months (and before that I definitely enjoyed my alcohol... uh, I mean, I did enjoy a snifter of port at Christmas) and red wine is what I miss the most (that and tequila, sweet hallucinogenic tequila). My neighbor and my gal were drinking red wine last night and I lifted a glass and did the smelling trick-- O, Brothers & Sisters, it smelled SO DAMN GOOD. I wanted to dive in and splash around. Plus the weather here is getting autumnal-- perfect for drinkin' vino in bed with that Special Someone and having that warm feeling spread through your body and then snuggling under the covers... can you see the cracks forming in my self-resolve? See them, Hell, I can hear them: sounds like ice cracking on a glacier. Still, I am happier and healthier without the booze, so booze-free I remain.

Good luck, Specklet!

Thanks, everybody!

I tried some pomagranate juice last night; I think I need to try different brands. It's almost got what I'm looking for (I need to try it with a shitload of lemon), but this particular brand had that over-pasturized aftertaste to it.

I think unsweetened cranberry with soda water is going to do it, it's too sweet for me regularly, even if I cut it with a whole lot of soda.

I think in another month or so, I'm not going to miss the wine as much. I hope.