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27 September 2005

I'm going to tear my ears off in a minute. My coworker (the one with the perfume) has a radio at her desk.→[More:]
I've just been subjected to a barrage of multiple songs by Van Morrison, Neil Young, and Billy Joel.

Now, I understand some, or even many, of you may like these artists, and for that I'm real proud of you. As for me, well, I want to rip my ears off.

I could explain exactly why I don't like these hacks, but I'm sure someone out there would take what is entirely personal and subjective and make a challenge out of it, try to convince me that I should share their bad taste. No dice.

So this is a musical gripe thread, and hopefully not a musical flamewar thread. What do you hate, that everybody else probably loves (pity them, for they know not...)?

post by: Hugh Janus at: 11:20 | 60 comments

What do you hate, that everybody else probably loves

Well, The Cure, The Smiths, Soft Cell, Depeche Mode, et al top the list of shit everyone else I know loves but that I loathe.

This has the bombastic firepower to drown out anything.

posted by jonmc 27 September | 11:27

I think... and note that it's taken me a long time to come to this conclusion, I think... I hate...

Bob Dylan.

Yeah. Pretty sure about that one. I can say that the only Bob Dylan music I've ever liked is the stuff he was ripping from Woody and the Harry Smith collections...

Oh, and I hate that little goatee thing he's got going on, and his appearance in the Starbucks commercial, and that stupid song his son got on the radio that just got played and played and played...

Hmmm. Wow, I feel like I've crossed a threshold. I feel like I'm really going to start living... this is the day. The day I hate Bob Dylan.

posted by nickdanger 27 September | 11:29

I hate nine inch nails.
hate.
Hate.
HATE.

Which would not be all that surprising, many do after all.

But I'm an industrial DJ.

(I also dislike all the above-listed artists, and most everything on top-40 radio, but that's to be assumed. But I also have the good sense to listen to music at work with headphones, since I don't think my coworkers would appreciate Combichrist the way I do.)

On preview...
I love everything Jonmc hates. :)

posted by kellydamnit 27 September | 11:29

You probably hate what I love, too, kellydamnit, but I won't hold it against you.

posted by jonmc 27 September | 11:31

I feel your pain, Hugh! I'm listening to "Your Song" by Elton John, for about the 6th time today. The owner here likes to play easy listening, so I hear a ton of Cher, Kelly Clarkson, and Billy Joel.

I would much rather hear classical music or some light jazz, if we have to be subjected to easy listening. I try to play my Winamp at low volume but I talk on the phone a lot so I never remember to re-up the volume after I get off the phone.

I don't mind the occasional Elton John (I've never been a fan but he doesn't really bother me) but to be subjected to a barrage of middling pop all day long, 5 days a week, can be a bit much sometimes. I don't think I'm a music snob by any means but even I have my limits.

Ah while I'm typing this, Elton ended and now we have a sweet love song by Michael Bolton. Argh.

Oh and who do I hate? The Beatles. I hate them! And Led Zepplin and Van Halen. Hate hate hate. But every band has a song that somewhat redeems them for me, no matter how much I may hate them. Even other bands I hate (Quiet Riot, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Kansas, Rush, Styx, Boston, et al) have one decent song that I appreciate.

I also detest Limp Bizkit, Sum 42, Blink 182, Lincoln Park, and Good Charlotte. Basically any music that you can skateboard by. Not that I have anything against skateboarders; I just loathe the pap they listen to.

posted by iconomy 27 September | 11:36

I'm actually with you on Bob Dylan, nickdanger. And something that I always knew, but which has been more of issue since hurricane Katrina, is that I seem to be the only person alive who dislikes Aaron Neville's singing.

posted by BoringPostcards 27 September | 11:37

I hate Radiohead.

posted by box 27 September | 11:38

You probably hate what I love, too, kellydamnit, but I won't hold it against you.

Actually, you would be surprised at the amount of pre-90s punk in my collection, jon.

posted by kellydamnit 27 September | 11:39

I hate Tom Waits. And Warren Zevon.

posted by brainwidth 27 September | 11:41

I also hate Yes, Interpol, Better Than Ezra, and the Dave Matthews Band.

on preview: I'm sure kelly, but we're from two different contingents of the punk scene, methinks. I'm more the Detroit/New York "fuck art, let's Rawk!" contingent.

posted by jonmc 27 September | 11:41

And, not to interrupt the pure artist-based hatefest, but mentioning Neil Young reminds me of a very common situation--the one where an artist has a radio single or two that not only becomes a big hit, but also manages to endure on classic-rock (or oldies, or jammin'-oldies) radio forever. Worse yet, though, these singles are often utterly nonrepresentative of the artist's work, and frequently not very good. And everybody thinks of The Zombies as the guys who sang 'Time of the Season,' instead of as the guys who recorded Odyssey and Oracle (for example). I hate that situation.

posted by box 27 September | 11:44

There's just no damn reason for James Taylor to exist. AT ALL.

posted by PinkStainlessTail 27 September | 11:48

The Grateful Dead. I have given this band more chances than any other I dislike, but neither their studio work nor their live jams do anything for me.

Also, most everything from the Steve Vai/Joe Satriani/Eric Johnson ilk. I play guitar and admire their mastery of technique, but man, those guys just can't write a song. This may also explain my dislike of Jimi Hendrix.

As for Neil Young, the only stuff I like of his are his hits. The CSN&Y singles though are fairly rank.

posted by mischief 27 September | 11:53

I, too, hate The Beatles. And Elvis and Joan Baez. Oh! Oh! I have one. I hate whaterthey called - That people liked/like. I have it! I HATE They Might Be Giants. Very Much.

But hey, Hugh, at least its not talk radio.

posted by rainbaby 27 September | 11:56

I don't hate as much music as I used to, I've mellowed with age in that respect.

Have I mentioned that I hate Coldplay? I suspect I might have. But basically anything bland just annoys me, particularly if it's inexplicably popular.

Opera drives me nuts. The sooner all opera singers are thrown into a vat of angry snakes the happier I'll be.

posted by dodgygeezer 27 September | 12:00

Coldplay. I hate them with a firey passion. Also Dave Matthews Band and Phish.

posted by gaspode 27 September | 12:02

damn, dodgy, I thought I was gonna be the first to mention coldplay.

posted by gaspode 27 September | 12:03

Indigo Girls. Brrrrr.

There's just no damn reason for James Taylor to exist. AT ALL. .

I agree. Well, he makes Cat Stevens sound better.

posted by rainbaby 27 September | 12:08

Talk radio would be preferable to the Rush I just gritted my teeth through, or the current Beatles earworm, "When I'm 64." Which I like, but I know what they're up to, those radio people, and I don't like it.

Redemption: "Ticket to Ride." But I don't feel any better about being forced to listen to someone else's crap all day.

This bitch is an assault on my senses. She's now ruined smell and hearing. What, is she gonna start shoveling dogshit into my mouth or pouring carbolic acid down my shirt?

She could Mace me and I'd be happier.

posted by Hugh Janus 27 September | 12:09

Hugh,
In a little bit I am going to hit you off with a Van Morrisson song that will confuse, thrill and electrify you, it is, without exception the only good (nay brilliant) thing that Drambuie bloated tick has ever done. Just a few minutes. Hold tight.

I hate the beatles, sorry. Well, ok there is some good stuff out there. But I guess I hate how much people love the beatles. I also hate "oldies" radio, because almost without exception they either overplay and therefore ruin songs that I like or play only the vapid radio friendly hit song from an otherwise interesting artist.

Oh, I hate George Thorogood. He makes me want to get a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches and become the dean of academics at a New England boarding school and constantly be pushing my tortise shell frame glasses up the bridge of my nose and have dandruff, and by my intolerance and fuddy-duddyness make my son gay out a sheer need to destroy my insular world and not out of any particular attraction to men.

On preview:

Hugh, be on the lookout for her to ruin your kinesthetic sense, watch out in case she brings in any magnets or really big gyroscopes.

posted by Divine_Wino 27 September | 12:14

Yeah, for the most part I just can't work up the energy to hate bands anymore, because it doesn't seem to have any effect. I suppose in a pinch I could emit a few low-powered loathe-rays in the direction of the Grateful Dead.

But it's always full-on hate for "that song someone else is forcing me to listen to against my will even if under other circumstances I might voluntarily listen to it myself."

posted by Wolfdog 27 September | 12:18

Oh, I hate George Thorogood. He makes me want to get a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches and become the dean of academics at a New England boarding school and constantly be pushing my tortise shell frame glasses up the bridge of my nose and have dandruff, and by my intolerance and fuddy-duddyness make my son gay out a sheer need to destroy my insular world and not out of any particular attraction to men.

I *heart* this.

posted by iconomy 27 September | 12:18

You know, Divine_Wino, I'm not interested in changing your mind, but I saw George Thorogood when I was a teenager and he put on quite a show. It was as if the Delaware Destroyers were an opening act and not the headliner. They kept playing rave-up songs to get the crowd into a frenzy for the next rave-up song. It was the late 80's. The Eurythmics were better.

I could really see hating George Thorogood, though.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack; nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

The Traveling Wilburys are on! Arch fiend!

That's it. I'm going home to get my walkman, and when my boss asks why I'm being unprofessional and listening to headphones, I'll say, wide-eyed and in a quiet voice:

"Billy Joel. Neil Young. Elton John. Rush. Van [whimper] Morrison. The Traveling Wilburys. Rock blocks. Four songs at a time. The same songs as yesterday. And the day before. And the day before. And the day before. And the day before. And the day before. And the day before that, too."

Then I'll emit a strange keening noise, hurl myself underneath my desk, and rock back and forth, holding my ears, and shout, "No more writing music on the piano! Please? Just stop calling it rock if you wrote it on piano! Piano is for pop! Pop is pap! Pappy take me home? Make make makemakemakemakemakemakemakemake her stop. Stop Billy Joel before he takes over the airwaves! We'll never hear the emergency broadcast system if we're used to ignoring the radio."

Then I'll find a nice cardboard box, empty my desk of personal effects, and find a new job.

posted by Hugh Janus 27 September | 12:34

I had a roommate who played the same song on repeat all the time when he was home. I asked him not to play it, but he just smiled and nodded, then he'd play it again. I snuck into his room and deleted the file from his computer. He reloaded it. I gave him other music to listen to. He ignored it. It was "If You're Not the One" by Daniel Bedingfield. I feel sick to my stomach when I hear it. You've probably never heard of him. Count your blessings.

And I hate James Taylor with the abandon of a poet. I want to set his house on fire and beat him to death with a shovel when he comes running out.

posted by goatdog 27 September | 12:36

I hate Kurt Cobain and Jim Morrison. I hate that these hackey, overserious "poets" were given genius status just because they died young.

I have also been known to leave the room if a Beach Boys song is playing. They are my kryptonite.

And box, I love Odyssey and Oracle.

posted by jrossi4r 27 September | 12:40

This thread makes me sad, even though I too, hate many of the bands listed.

posted by Specklet 27 September | 12:44

Then I'll emit a strange keening noise,
Try for a totally normal keening noise. That freaks people out even more.

posted by Wolfdog 27 September | 12:48

Out of curiosity, I went to Daniel Bedingfield and listened to the song, goatdog. I really feel for you. That's just horrible.

posted by iconomy 27 September | 12:49

I can't stand Doctor John and Randy Newman.
The Smithereens make me change the channel.
I severely dislike a whole lot of the hipster shit that's goin' around these days.

posted by me3dia 27 September | 12:49

Why does it make you sad? I feel terrible. Posting a thread that makes you sad is the last thing I would ever intentionally do. I think you're the bee's knees, Specklet.

Please don't be sad.

posted by Hugh Janus 27 September | 12:50

I have also been known to leave the room if a Beach Boys song is playing.

I have been known to get up and do axe kicks, Elvis karate and chugga chugga choo choo moves whenever I hear "I get around." One of my favorite songs ever. Pet Sounds can bite me though.

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations. As a dork once said.

posted by Divine_Wino 27 September | 12:51

I'm a "Help Me Rhonda" guy, myself.

posted by Hugh Janus 27 September | 12:52

Oh man, you totally cheered me up with the bee's knees thing, Hugh! I love beeeeees! Mmmwah!

posted by Specklet 27 September | 12:57

What a loving thread of unadulterated hate. And although there are some artistes mentioned who fall into a different category for me, I'm not motivated to protest because I have a greater regard for the right to hate and despise than any latent proselytizing impetus. All fuckers who foist despicable muzak on their immediate neighbours when it's known that it grates should be put up on the telegraph pole and large iron rods be issued to the passing throngs.

Although opera is close, I leave it off the top of my pointy spike of vengeful loathing simply because it's not as ubiquitous as some other forms of torture. For me (and this derives from sharing a place with a much younger Russian guy with an attitude problem about living compromises as much as anything) the top of the list is the throat cancer voice of death metal. I'm sure I could stomach the music for at least a while, but jeezusfuckaduck when that rasping comes on I just want to destalk eyeballs and club to pulp those who would disturb my little piece of personal space. There's other music I hate...but that's usually less genre specific.

*smile* Aaahhhhhhh..

posted by peacay 27 September | 12:59

Playing on the radio here at work right now: So Far Away by Rod Stewart.

/kills self

posted by iconomy 27 September | 13:02

I'm really not overly critical when it comes to music, but I really can't stand reggae or ska.

posted by selfnoise 27 September | 13:05

I hate hate hate the Decemberists, and have a finely tuned dislike for the Mars Volta (I'm not going to mention bands that flat-out suck, only bands that everyone assumes I like, but I really really don't). Oh, and Modest Mouse and Wilco and all those other crap 'indie' bands. I just hate image.

posted by muddgirl 27 September | 13:05

Anything by Journey is Satan's lullaby.

posted by kero 27 September | 13:10

Hugh Janus,

TB Sheets - Van Morrison

I think I recall that you can't get this stuff at work, so if you can't download it at home, let me know and I will mail it to you. It's really, really good.

That doesn't excuse Van Morrison, but it will make you wonder how such a sack of shit could ever output a song so good.

posted by Divine_Wino 27 September | 13:15

Oh, I also hate any rap song that's just about how good the rapper's flow is. It's monumentally lazy.

posted by selfnoise 27 September | 13:21

Even if they've been known to do the impossible, like Broadway Joe?

posted by Hugh Janus 27 September | 13:44

Or even if they're a four course meal and you're a one dollar hero?

posted by Divine_Wino 27 September | 13:49

You sure that's not "one dollar gyro?"

I live too close to Astoria.

posted by Hugh Janus 27 September | 13:54

Hugh Janus:

You're my browneyed girl.

posted by agropyron 27 September | 14:00

Even if I'm attacking your backdoor AND you're trapped in my trash compactor.

posted by selfnoise 27 September | 14:05

I generally hate cheese whiz rock: Poison, Skid Row, Motley Crew etc...

I can't stand Smashing Pumpkins. Or Counting Crows.

And AC/DC. What the hell would convince that man to take up singing as a career? Fingernails on a chalkboard is more appealing...

posted by teece 27 September | 14:15

Han, Luke, Leia and Chewie land in the trash compactor.
Han Solo: What an incredible smell you've discovered! Let's get out of here! Get away from there...
Luke: No! Wait!
Han draws his laser pistol and fires at the hatch. The laser bolt ricochets wildly around the small room. Everyone dives for cover in the garbage as the bolt finally explodes.
Luke: Will you forget it? I already tried it. It's magnetically sealed!
Princess Leia: Put that thing away, you're gonna get us all killed!
Han Solo: Absolutely, Your Worship. Look, I had everything under control until you led us down here! It's not going to take them long to figure out what happened to us.
Princess Leia: It could've been worse.
Garbage creature growls.
Han Solo: It's worse.

posted by Hugh Janus 27 September | 14:30

I have pretty eclectic taste in music but as a easy rule, if it's played on the radio - I hate it. Dunno why this is, but radio just really really grates me. We're talking top of the pops stuff, not say, the golden oldies (from say the 60s) which I generally like. It something about the frequency of play as well as what they play, and too often have I been stuck next to co-workers who don't mind at all that Britney's Toxic is being played for the umteenthbillionth time in a day, in between the idiotic VJ comments and the inane sound-logo's of the station. AAAARGH!

posted by dabitch 27 September | 14:40

Even if they're so full of action, their name should be a verb?

Even if they've got grammar like a hammer?

Even if their inhale is seismic, and their exhale volcanic?

Even if they suggest, to all the lame cats trying to put a hit out, that trying to rock back and forth might make it easier to get their shit out?

posted by box 27 September | 14:47

I've found the internet to be a wonderful tonic for radio. I can't remember the last time I listened to Top 40 music, and it's a good thing. I really think even having that crap in an adjoining cubicle was negatively impacting my mental health.

posted by selfnoise 27 September | 14:47

negatively impacting my mental health.

So far today, I've destroyed a stapler, my mouse, and two binders.

I just went home and got my walkman. Nelson Sargento, take me away!

posted by Hugh Janus 27 September | 14:56

Hugh: When the opportunity presents itself, turn down the radio, reset the station, apply a touch of super glue, and then turn it off.

My choice of new station would be Smoooooooth Oldies.

posted by sarah connor 27 September | 14:56

I'm about to make a blanket statement that I can in no way defend:

Electric guitar ruined music.

HATE ELECTRIC GUITAR!!!11

posted by nickdanger 27 September | 14:56

Sometimes weird, passive aggressive behavior can work. I once had a coworker who kept accidentally hitting the Print Screen key and sending a screen print to our network printer.

Needless to say, said coworker discovered one day that they didn't have a Print Screen button anymore.

posted by selfnoise 27 September | 15:02

While I don't mind my mix (right now I'm listening to the Knight Brothers -- smooth oldies indeed) I'd prefer not to have to listen to anything at work. I like to deal with numbers in silence.

And if I had superglue handy, I'd probably try to stick my coworker's eyeballs to a passing bird.

It might make up for my missing ears.

posted by Hugh Janus 27 September | 15:16

I recently had a visceral hate/sick reaction to Antony and the Johnsons.

posted by goatdog 27 September | 15:22

If this thread had a meetup and all tastes were catered to, we'd all be complaining about the buzzzzing associated with the complete silence.
I hate it when I can't hear the voices in my head when the buzzzzing from the silence is so loud. Shhh!

posted by peacay 27 September | 16:13

What, nobody hates Weezer but me?!

And I also hate all nu-metal with a passion, Blinkin Park, Prodigy Eat Korn or whatever. It all runs together in my head.

posted by stilicho 27 September | 17:13

in no particular order:

- Eminem

- Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz

- The Cure

- Prince

- Metallica

- Venga Boys (especially the song from the Six Flags Great America
commericals... makes me want to jab rusty butterknives into my ears)

- That fucking 'Come On Eileen' song, and Don Mclean's retarded, neverending 'American Pie'... fucking HATE that fucking song

- your favorite band, which actually sucks fyi

posted by Wedge 27 September | 18:17

Urgh. Now I have that Six Flags Vengaboys song stuck in my mind. And just when I'm about to enter a meeting. I'll have to kill myself.

Am I the only one who hates U2?

posted by Penks 27 September | 19:49

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