MetaChat - Cigars all around!

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26 September 2005

Cigars all around! I know this could potentially be a GYOBFW sort of thing but I'm so excited I just had to share. I'm going to be an aunt! →[More:]My brother and sister-in-law are expecting. The baby isn't even due to arrive until sometime in May but I am already figuring out which dirty jokes I wil tell the kid when he/she is old enough to realize that I am the coolest aunt in the whole world.

It's funny. I'm not really a baby person but suddenly I'm so happy and excited I can hardly wait for the little bugger to get here.

post by: LeeJay at: 16:41 | 34 comments

Babies are awsome!
When they are not yours
Going to be an uncle in December
"Hey kid, you see that cemetery? People are dying to get in there!

posted by Capn 26 September | 16:48

Babies are awsome!
When they are not yours

Yes! There will be stuffing of ice cream and rides on rollercoasters and teaching of poker and then when he/she gets cranky it's back to mom and dad! This is going to be so awesome.

posted by LeeJay 26 September | 16:52

Oh and congrats on impending unclehood to you.

posted by LeeJay 26 September | 16:53

Congrats, future auntie LeeJay!

I was hanging with a friend in the weekend who is 6mo pregnant. Like me, she inhales books and hopes that her kid will do the same. We spent ridiculous amounts of money in the kid section of Barnes and Noble, and the kid ain't even due to pop out till December.

posted by gaspode 26 September | 16:54

Ooh good for you. All the kisses, none of the grief.

Enjoy every minute of it, LeeJay, and congratulations.

posted by melissa may 26 September | 17:00

Lovely!

Here's a book that I give everyone when I hear they're pregnant. I know it looks a little hippie-dippy, but it's a fabulous book, and I've gotten many thanks from gifting it.

posted by Specklet 26 September | 17:11

I believe dabitch is to be a mommy pretty soon, no?

posted by me3dia 26 September | 17:19

Congrats. I'm recently an uncle for the second time. If you know what I mean. It's sort of like having my own child, except it's a couple hundred miles away 98% of the time, which strikes me as ideal.

posted by Wolfdog 26 September | 17:20

This is the book I got my sister, it is the opposite of hippie-dippy.

posted by Capn 26 September | 17:25

Thanks for the congrats. I think perhaps I'll get them both books, for a balanced view of things, hippy dippie poo bombs.

posted by LeeJay 26 September | 17:29

You can read selected chapters from The Poo Bomb here. It is funny even for people who are not currently propagating the species.

posted by Capn 26 September | 17:45

GYOBFW

Good, Your Old Brother's Family Waxes

posted by agropyron 26 September | 17:46

Oh it's him! I read a few articles from his site a long time ago and laughed hysterically. I didn't put two and two together when I glanced at the Amazon page. I will definitely be getting that book.

posted by LeeJay 26 September | 17:47

Welcome to Auntland, LeeJay! I've got 6 nieces and nephews (and likely more to come). It's a good time.

posted by jrossi4r 26 September | 17:50

Congrats to Cap'n as well.

posted by jrossi4r 26 September | 17:51

Actually, agropyron, the acronym is for those women in parks who run up and fondle strangers' kids without so much as a by-your-leave:
Get Your Own Baby, Freaky Woman

posted by Capn 26 September | 17:59

Yay, LeeJay! I'm an aunt twice over and even thought they're several hundred miles away, it's very fun and exciting.

posted by Frisbee Girl 26 September | 18:02

GYOBFreakyWoman indeed. Man, when I was nannying and strangers would try to touch the babies, I'd stop them and say "I'm sorry, I know she's cute, but unless you've just washed your hands, that's not such a great idea." People thinking they can touch your kid like it's a puppy has got to be one of the most annoying things about having a kid.

posted by Specklet 26 September | 18:08

People thinking they can touch your kid like it's a puppy has got to be one of the most annoying things about having a kid.

A dear friend of mine felt much the same way about strangers trying to touch her stomach when she was pregnant. People would literally walk right up to her and feel her up. She HATED it.

posted by LeeJay 26 September | 18:09

My sister has specifically requested a stroller with a GYOBFW sheild (called a "weather shield" in the literature, but we all know). I'm so proud.

posted by Capn 26 September | 18:12

PS, IMO, MC is YOB (or, OOB, I guess)

posted by Capn 26 September | 18:22

I think if when I'm pregnant, a stranger walks up to touch my belly, I'll rub my hands on their cheeks in a circular motion. Or, if it's a good lookin' girl, her boobs.

posted by Specklet 26 September | 18:51

Why don't the ugly one's get no boob action, Specklet?

I have (*counts in head*) 3 nephews, 2 nieces, 1 quasi-step-niece, and a Godson (from one sister-in-law, two-brothers-in-law, one brother's-in-law girlfriend, and one cousin-in-law). They are are all really great kids. I love to see them and play with them and teach them stuff. I also love giving them back to their parents.

I married into a family of prolific breeders! ;-) My sister has no kids, and neither do me and my wife.

Congrats LeeJay!

posted by teece 26 September | 19:02

Congrats!

I can't imagine invading someone's space by grabbing a baby or molesting a pregnant woman. I wouldn't do that to a relative let alone a stranger. The nerve of some people is astounding.

I have 10 nieces & nephews AND one great-niece & two great-nephews on my side of the family. I see them once or twice a year at the most. Thank goodness. The mister has nine, they're mostly grown. I've met all but two of them.

Do I win something?

posted by deborah 26 September | 19:29

What's with the cigar prices? Is that a joke i don't get? Why pay .50 for three when 2 are only .25??

posted by joelf 26 September | 21:27

Congratulations Leejay! You too Capn! I have sole responsibility of teaching my 9 year old nephew every filthy thing there is to know in the world. We are doing well in this regard. And my proudest moment as an uncle came when my 18 year old niece completely faked out her grandma to pull her finger then ripped a fart that cleared the room. I pretended the tears came from fumes and not joy, but I think everyone knew better.

posted by DeepFriedTwinkies 26 September | 21:34

Yeah for kid jokes! Two of the many in my family are to teach the babies to bang on their high chairs and yell, "we want Viccysoise! We want Viccysoise!" The other is to teach them to say, "no, I'M Spartacus!", then some adult in the room stands up and says, "I'm Spartacus!" and silliness ensues. I dunno, maybe you have to be there.

posted by puddinghead 26 September | 21:58

My wife told our nephew that Jesus lost a cage match (and thus ended up nailed on the cross). That got a stern rebuke from her sister when the little one repeated the story to mom (the Catholic upbringing didn't take for my wife, but it did for her sister).

posted by teece 26 September | 22:49

These are too funny! I may have to have another kid just so I can teach them some of these things.

Our biggest crowd pleaser was teaching her to "Aaaay!" like the Fonz and inserting it into the animal sounds list.
What's the ducky say? Quack! What's the kitty say? Meow!
What's Fonzie say? AAAAAAY!

(That's as funny as they get at about 10 months.)

posted by jrossi4r 26 September | 23:05

Babies are the coooooooooolest people in the whole world. Then they become teenagers. Recovery is delayed until retirement for most. Success in life means getting an early start on that.

posted by caddis 26 September | 23:35

OK, that wasn't funny.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next Twenty-four years telling them to sit down and shut up!

posted by caddis 26 September | 23:38

Congrats, LeeJay!

posted by shane 27 September | 08:37

Congrats LeeJay and Capn.

Caddis, the teenager thing is scary. I've got two kids of my own. No nieces or nephews on my side (damn, sistahs...WTF?! Where's my fun?).

I've always loved this quote about kids from "Lost in Translation":
"Your life, as you know it... is gone. Never to return. But they learn how to walk, and they learn how to talk... and you want to be with them. And they turn out to be the most delightful people you will ever meet in your life."

It's absolutely accurate. Mine are 6 and 8 now. We're in the thick of the "most delightful people" stage, and already feel sad about their impending teenage departures into sullen silence and embarrassment.
*lip quivers*
*sobs*

posted by pliskie 27 September | 11:14

Thank you all for the kind words and the hilarious stories. You have given me many cruel ideas which I plan to put into action as soon as I can get the kid alone. As for the pulling of the fingers, I'm pretty sure my father will teach the kid that before any of us even think of it. He's the master fartiste of the family.

posted by LeeJay 27 September | 13:03

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