puppie, do you mean to insinuate they are able to recognize vomiting faces?

"The British passport is currently one of the most secure in the world, but would not stay that way were we to stand still."

*stands still for photo*

That's been the case in the US for a couple years, actually. No smiling.

As you all know, us Brits have terrible teeth so we don't smile anyway.

Just smile, and when they tell you to stop, tell them, "I'm not smiling."

You can then prove it to them by saying, "okay, this is a smile," and give 'em the biggest corny shit-eating grin ever.

If I smile at the customs officials, will they confiscate my passport?

/worried.

*frowns*

*lets mouth hang open slightly in a decidedly non-alluring fashion*

Britons will also have to keep their mouths closed as technology to improve security cannot recognise grinning faces.

M E M O
From: Al-Quada Supreme Command
To: All Holy Jihadists

See above, and remember to smile, smile, smile as you infiltrate the airports, subways, and levees of the Great Satan.

PS: Those trapped in the rubble will blame Mayor Nagin and Governor Blanco when FEMA's entire effort to rescue them consists of press conferences explaining, "I don't think anyone anticipated the breach of the levees." -—President Bush on ABC's Good Morning America, Sept. 1, 2005

(CBS, 17 May 2002) Two years before the Sept. 11 attacks, an analysis prepared for U.S. intelligence warned that Osama bin Laden's terrorists could hijack an airliner and fly it into government buildings like the Pentagon.

"Suicide bomber(s) belonging to al Qaeda's Martyrdom Battalion could crash-land an aircraft packed with high explosives (C-4 and semtex) into the Pentagon, the headquarters of the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), or the White House," the September 1999 report said.

The Bush administration has asserted that no one in government had envisioned a suicide hijacking before it happened.

"Had I know that the enemy was going to use airplanes to kill on that fateful morning, I would have done everything in my power to protect the American people," Mr. Bush told U.S. Air Force Academy football team members who were visiting the White House on Friday. It was his first public comment on revelations this week that he was told Aug. 6 that bin Laden wanted to hijack planes.