I want a multi-useless all-cotton umbrella.

An all-in-one electronic jammer for cell phones radios and other audio devices. Peace at the beach!

A mute button for children.

A device to jam devices that jam cell phones, radios and other audio devices. I like using my toys at the beach.

I want mouth trays that clean my teeth (including the gums and in-between) without my having to actually brush and floss them. Maybe incorporating nanotechnology and waterproof robotics for maximum whizbang factor.

I want a huge blower that dries me off as I step out of the shower.

An all-in-one electronic jammer for cell phones radios and other audio devices. Peace at the beach!
posted by LarryC 23 August | 01:38

I'll go one step further with an added feature: a button that will cause a toilet geyser. This would be very useful for those idiot people who talk on their phones in public restrooms.

I've considered shooting them, but I think the jammmer combo might be safer.

I want .pdfs that annotate with SIDENOTES instead of stupid boxes you have to click to open. And they should PRINT OUT with the notes intact, so you can actually use them to edit on paper, with fingerless gloves and an eyeshade if you damn well want, just like the olden days.

Get on it, ADOBE.

melissa may - Notes can be read by opening the columns tab. They can be printed out separately or with lines pointing to the relevant section on a thumbnail of the document. [Command T or 'Print with Comments'].

A super tricorder PDA palmtop computer communications thingy, incorporating:

Wide area cell and data access, broad spectrum radio transceiver with scanning functions (Ham, GPRS, FRS, CB, WiFi, various commercial broadcast receiver applications, Etc), GPS+WAAS, an accelerometer, still and video camera (including infrared and thermal imaging, with an excellent optics package including optical zoom and macro focus, plus maybe a microscope function), audio recording, altimeter, local and remote temperature sensing, relative humidity, a wind meter, LIDAR, laser range finding, laser topographic mapping, PH meter, Geiger counter, gas detectors and particulate counters, an oscilloscope, a digital multi meter, a logic probe and much more. I'm forgetting a few things that should be included.

It shouldn't be much larger than a bulky PDA. Many of the sub-systems could be deftly combined into "like technology" packages and handled with a combination of hardware and software. It should have an integrated full-featured keyboard, either onscreen or phyisical, and a robust and useable multifunction user interface.

It should have logging capabilities for all device and functions with plenty of storage space. It should record audio, video, or pure data from all sources with excellent time stamping functions.

It should have a robust and integrated set of probes and other detachable sensing equipment, along with a complement of interface ports for audio, video, and data.

It should be weather proof or resistant. It should have an insanely great battery life.

Except for a few items like the LIDAR and thermal imaging, many of the functions could quite possibly be integrated and reduced to the specified package size with currently available off the shelf components and a few custom logic boards and interface designs.

I'd also like a killer pair of digital binoculars to integrate/communicate with it, like the oil lens ones in Dune or the ones in Star Wars Ep. IV.

Bonus points for flexible OLED epaper displays, head mounted displays, an array of external (but not required) optics and sensing devices, and other creative input/output wizardry.

My gadget could of course double as a jammer, interceptor, or de-jammer jammer, not to mention lots of other things. :)

A cat that doesn't piss in my slippers.

How about a cat that uses the toilet? I'd like one of those.

Somehow, I think loquacious has more chance of his ultra-super-mega-gadget coming to fruition than dodgygeezer getting his wish.

I, personally, am ready for hover technology. Or jetpacks. Or hover jetpacks.

Ah, who am I kidding? All I need is pants! A decent pair of pants!

"Solomon Grundy want pants too!!!"

Teleporters. Definitely.

(late for work again)

I'd like a real La Pâte à Son thanks. (Warning: flash, shockwave -- WILL steal your time).

It would be awesome to have one of these in the basement.

Oh. Improbable?

I want to be able to think at my computer. Or be made out of nanites, without losing my humanity. Or be immortal. I want a cure for death. I want to be able to talk to my deceased grandfather and uncle. I want to be able to directly hack my consciousness. I want a jupiter brain - no, scratch that - I want red giant sized brain. I want dyson spheres and smoke rings and ring worlds and faster than light travel. Quantum computing. I want to be able to carry the sum total of all known recorded knowledge in my pocket - or be able to access it at any time, anywhere - but offline portable storage is ideal. I want to be able to program matter; To transmute lead into gold, and gold into lead as needed. I want a self-governing, self-sustaining long-term culture of diversity, openess, exploration, learning and ceaseless creativity.

I want all of the above.

A flying car - would come in handy during rush hour!

A house that cleans itself.

dreamsign, I hear you on the teleporters (and the late for work!)

Also, time travel.

Cigarettes that enhance stamina, improve lung capacity, fight wrinkles, and prevent cancer.

When I was in 5th grade I invented a conveyer belt thing that would be installed in all good sledding hills to pull you and your sled back up. I still think this was a good and extremely workable idea.

Meanwhile, though, I want my jetpack. And smart highways where you just plug your car in and lie back and relax until you get to your destination, a la Robert Heinlein. And space colonies and warp speed and delegations visiting the UN from Sirius. Vacations in an L5 colony, shared dreams, nifty new drugs and a personal robot slave. Yeah.

I just want a fraction of the things we were promised by the year 2000. I can't believe that we still have tooth decay from plaque and are wholly dependent on oil. I can't believe we're still dealing with world hunger and global poverty, I'm amazed that we still need eyeglasses. I'm astonished that reproductive rights are in jeopardy and that fundamentalist religions are in ascendancy. I would never have believed that we wouldn't have an AIDS vaccine

Except for digital technology, I think maybe I just want a lot of things to be as advanced as they were 30 or 40 years ago, when we still believed in evolution and that there would be advancement for the greater good as opposed to total corporate lockdown on anything that threatens the status quo bottom line.

I'm 100% convinced that in the current environment, we would never have come up with a polio vaccine, for example, as long as corporations were able to make lots of money treating the disease, instead of eradicating it.

How about a cat that uses the toilet? I'd like one of those.

You can train them to do that, you know. Mingus wrote a book about it.

I'd like a waterproof heating device that can be dropped into the toilet tank to keep it from sweating in hot weather.

X-Ray specs.

Wow. These are great.

I want a hangover cure that tones the liver.

Hugh, I should have put money that would be yours.

I want tiny speakers in my ears so I can listen to any music I want without shutting out the rest of the world. (Of course I'd like to keep the earphone option for when I do.)

And something similar for your eyes as well, where you could look at something and get a bunch of information about it. That would have rocked my world this last Saturday night as I debated varietals and vinting techniques with a few guests.

Whoa FG, ever read "Feed"?

No, Specklet, haven't heard of it. Who is the author?

Frisbee Girl, X-Ray specs would have rocked your world this Saturday night, too.

I'm just saying, is all.

Too true, Hugh, too true.

Too true, Hugh, too true.

Sounds even better the second time, no?

Third time's a charm. Go for it.

FG, M.T. Anderson. It's all about American society in the future when everyone has the internet implanted in their brains. Really scary, actually.

Also, another vote for teleporters (that was the first thing that popped into my head). And, loquacious: peepee kitties. This really is possible. Got a friend who has a cat whut goes in the potty.

If you dig teleporters, and you haven't read Alfred Bester, might I recommend The Stars My Destination?

Cool Hugh, I just added it to my to-read list.

I am so psyched! It's one of my favorite books ever, so it does me wee 'eart gude to hear someone say they'll give it a try.

I want an invention to tell me what's been invented already so I am not confused all the time.

Or I want one that will beam tellurian's giant head on the wall as needed for general advice and support.

Get on it, TELLURIAN.

Oooh oooh! Massage machine. (No, not that kind, you perv!) For seriously excellent shoulder rubs. My next boy must have mad massage skillz.

1) A digital SLR with a Pentax P-mount lens adapter, and telescopic functionality roughly equivalent to the Orion ShortTube.

2) A low-cost, open-source means of including accessibility functions in the firmware of all upcoming PDAs, smartphones and MP3 players.

3) Low-power, laser-guided C0 & smoke detectors; when Firefighters/EMS enter your place, the detector could point to where the eminations are with a red laser, and unconscious bodies in blue.

4) A home septic system with fuel cell functionality and a distillery option.

5) Hybrid-electric biodiesel motorcycles which can double as 4800 Watt portable electric generators.

Nasty thought: someone out there could decide to patent all this stuff. Jerome Lemelson, perhaps?

I just want a decent robot. One that does what robots are supposed to do, like drive my car, clean my house and babysit my kid.

We can put a man on the moon, but we can't make a robot who scrubs toilets.

Why would we need a robot to scrub toilets when we have women?

*ducks*

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