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I hate Johnny Depp. Also, this weekend, while I was trapped in a bar during a rainstorm, a very drunk, middle-aged overweight woman told me I was a "hot young guy." She also mentioned she wasn't wearing underwear because the AC was out.
Weird, but I take my flattery where I can find it.
I kinda doubt that Depp - an American living in Paris - would use the phrase "a cracking porn", which is a very British expression. Also, the only references to the story seem to be on either British, Indian, or Australian websites. Methinks that the whole story may have been made up by some wag in the British press corps.
He spawned with Vanessa Paradis? Oy vey them will probably be utterly gorgeus kids to come and haunt us ten years from now, singing about taxi drivers or making movies.
Aw Jon, Depp ain't really all that hateable, but hate away if you must. The drunk, no underpants lady was just looking for a little bit of "Queens Crumpet" bro, so I hope you let her down easy.
That rainstorm was bonkers, like white squall, tree limbs and garbage cans blowing down the street, I had just walked out of a movie and was lighting a cigarette and a wall of water just came flying out of nowhere and slapped me, it was like a skit on laugh in. I was soaked and this thugged out kid with the giant white shirt laughed at me, although I had my revenge when there was a huge thunder clap and he jumped and whimpered.
Yep, I was just emerging from a Sidewalk brunch, getting ready for an idle stroll, when the same wall of water made a mockery of me. Grabbed a Voice for a 'brella and hightailed it to 2 Boots. On the way from picking up a bad movie, a fellow said, "Whaddayaneeda newspaper for?"
I laughed and said, soaked to the bone, "Why, to stay dry, silly!"
Man, who told you about the nose fucking? That's the Next Thing we've been working on in our hipster lab. Right now it's in trials in Philly (which I totally called Brooklyn South way before the Times style section).
Owen lined up the young men in rows
Toms, Dicks, Harrys and Joes.
He didn't buttfuck them,
Or squeeze them or suck them;
He just gave them head through his nose.
Rachel Ray from the cooking channel? OK, you and Dame can share the demented person of the year award I was just welding out of hubcaps and a (mostly) empty keg of Natty Bo. That's awesome man, that girl makes me wanna go on a BB shooting spree in a Filene's basement, the fact that you get boner material off her raises you even higher in my estimation.
Man, who told you about the nose fucking? That's the Next Thing we've been working on in our hipster lab.
I was totally into nose fucking before the first Arcade Fire album. Recently I've been into NOT nosefucking and nodding off on Xanax while my girlfriend cooks ramen over a bunsen burner in the next room. That's the new shit.
Nic Cage could make for interesting nosefucking, with that schnozzola of his.
If I'm not busy being drunk with no underwear in the rain in New York.
I should have known...stealthy, my dear.
Maybe for your pile, jon.
now, now dame, we're all free to populate our own piles. And not only is Rachel Ray cute as a button, but I can just picture her perkily describing sex the same way she does food.
You know, sometimes I really love you people. And Wino, that, like coke, is so 1999, so college. Now is about ambition and entrpreneurship and dissing fake hipster boys. Also, getting our parents to buy us condos. Because we're growing up.
My athlete pile is a different pile, a smaller one. Michaels Phelps and Ous Mellouli will suffice. Oh, I lied, there's three: Polyakov, the Kazakh swimmer. And Ous's full name is Ousama and he's from Tunisia. So my pile is both hot *and* anti-American.
MNP (my naked pile): Charlotte Rampling, Isabelle Huppert, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Julianne Nicholson, Elodie Bouchez, Liv Ullman, and my friend Beth. And me, of course.
Oooh Thom Yorke. *slurp*
And MG reminds me of someone I've forgotten: James Spader. (and obviously LeeJay hasn't read this thread yet, otherwise he would have been mentioned!)
I dunno, Specklet. I was watching Casablanca the other day and my friend pointed out that Peter Lorre resembles Kevin Spacey, especially in the way he moves. And then you'd be looking at Kevin Spacey and hearing Peter Lorre, who is a fantastic actor, but definitely not sexy.
Harvey Keitel? I think you'll be sharing the trophy with jon and I, amber.
Sorry Dame, Amberglow is correct, Keitel is a goer. You can tell 'cause as a life long practicing hetro I would totally do him. Bakula on the other hand, is demented. So now I'm off to the dump for more hubcaps to add the Amberglow section of the award.
Not weird in a bad way (I really believe that it takes all kinds, when someone says "I am super attacted to Dom Deloise", I go "Word? Awesome".) Rachel Ray kills it for me personalitywise, she is cute however and I'm not a real "perky" fan. Let's put you down for demented (unspecified) and assume you'll come up with something to justify it sooner rather than later.
Harvey Keitel has a face like knee.
Also true. That's why I hold out some hope for humanity. Anyone ever seen Fingers with Keitel?
Also, I've got sausage on the brain again. A freind just brought me this joint's menu. It's got my mouth all agitated just reading it. Should I go blow a few bucks.
Also, amberglow, would Bakula have to wear his Federation uniform, or is that negotiable?
Subjective is good. Less competition. I go for tall skinny boys with big and/or broken noses, myself. So if we're reanimating, Humphrey Bogart is absolutely in and so is Jimmy Stewart.
I have trouble picking a pile, but the pile that Peter Piper picked. Oh what a peck of pickled peppers; A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked; If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
This is how all good conversations end up by the way, hours later with the divine_wino having no idea at all why he is so vehemently defending his desire to fuck Harvy Keitel.
The muggers, who appeared to be in a state of high inebriation, made off with a fedora and an ipod, the name of their gang was embossed on their underpants, no arrests have yet been made, police questioned a man who gave his name as "Hugh Janus" (possible alias), "One of them said he was the Enema Bandit and they all said they came from somewhere called Metachat, but I swear... they came from HELL!"
I had the sausage, krainerwurst with kraut, jack cheese, crumbled bacon and honey mustard on an onion roll, with fries and a coupla Becks. It was tasty.
Metachat: Harvey Keitel has a face like knee.
Many guys with a face like knee are incredibly sexy and hot (and really really good in bed)--much more so than the Jude Laws, etc. Bland is boring; Pretty is boring--give me a face that's been lived in--and sat on. : >
Bakula not in a StarTrek uniform--it would be more of a Quantum Leap dressup/roleplaying thing, i think.
Gregory Peck i'd take too...can i have sloppy seconds?
And Patrick Dempsey is aging very nicely--i'll take him too.
My pile: as gaspode said above, I'd have to include James Spader as the go-to blonde guy, although I reserve the right to swap him out for Keifer Sutherland at any time. I'd also have to include British actor Damian Lewis (warning: large pictures). And no pile is complete without an athelete so I'll toss in my high school crush, Kelly Slater. Also appearing regularly in my piles: Benicio Del Toro, Alan Rickman, Tin Roof era Paul Newman, Edward Burns, Hugh Laurie and many many more.
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
photo by ethylene
