#1) anybody cutting in line in front of me. I'm not too tall and people hev pretended they didn't see me so often that it is now a sure-fire way of getting me really ticked off. It ain't pretty.

#2) just stroking the small of my back will make me shut up and almost purr.... I love the way the hair stands up in the back of my neck and close my eyes to enjoy the moment. My SO cleverly uses this trait to get some peace and quet during the news. ;)

what is this elevator butt?

#1 - some asshole is outside LAYING on his horn. I couldn't think of an example but the good lord provides...

#1 pt 2 - NOW HE IS HONKING AND YELLING

People who get off the escalator and just stand there, looking around. THERE IS A GIANT MACHINE CONVEYOR BELT OF PEOPLE BEHIND YOU! GET OUT OF THE WAY!

madame pants, when someone is doing that at my apt, I go on the balcony and yell "I'll be right down".

(Well, I don't actually *do* that, but I've thought about it)

elevator butt? see the MetaChat AskMefi link and the Metatalk link... ;) It's when you scratch a cat in just the right spot on his back close to the tail and they push their butts up toward your hand to get more scratch. :)

1)

Using "loose" when you mean "lose". (No, really. Opportunistically funny, but "ha ha only serious". ;) ) Typos in printed books.

Mindless, faceless and abusive bearaucracy. Likewise, bullies and crony-ism. (Line-cutting probably falls into this.)

Unsafe or impatient drivers. People who honk instead of getting out of the car and knocking on the door. People who think they're tough - which isn't the same as strong or willful.

Cardboard, kraft/brown paper. It's like fingernails on chalkboard to me. (I don't like chalkboards either!) I'm gritting my teeth just thinking about it. I used to work in a warehouse setting. Well, my dad had a huge t-shirt shop. We did a lot of cross dock shipping, which meant packing assortments into new, custom sized boxes, which meant making lots of boxes from flat packs with wet-adhesive kraft tape. Sometimes thousands of 'em in a day.

Being nagged or pestered. Not being allowed peace and quiet to think and meditate and navel-gaze.

2)

Luscious, full-spectrum music. I can't describe it any better than "full spectrum". It can be ambient, downtempo, trip hop, techno, space noise, noise, jazz, blues, experimental, zydeco, hip hop, orchestral/classical - but more often than not it's electronic. Right now I'm sipping my coffee and having a cigarette and listening to "The Blue Room" off of the Live Orb double CD, and it's blissful. Before that it was System7 (Orb/Alex Patterson side project). Bassland's "Empty Sea of Nothingness". Other examples include Boards of Canada, some Coldcut, Surgeon, much more I don't have time to mention here. For me it's like the aural version of feasting my eyes on colors.

A good bike ride or skateboarding session. Endorphins, yay.

A good fiction book, or non-fiction story, chock full of those leaping off points that send you tripping down internal introspections and ponderings.

A good round of drinks and a group of like-minded folks to talk with and just chill with, hopefully listening to music like that listed above.

Sitting somewhere peaceful and far away in nature slowly puffing on a pipe of good herbs and veggies, quiet and alone and just feasting my wandering, temporally de-focused attention on all the fractally goodness of nature all around me, observing all the minute little things going on.

Dancing like no one is watching.

Using "loose" when you mean "lose".

Hehehe. I deserved that anyway, I mean sheesh I can't even spell equivalent. Totally blind today, me is. Should have checked my post better before setting it loose on the world. ;)

But seriously, cardboard? Cardboard ticks you off? That must have been a really sucky warehouse job mate.

loquacious, I know exactly what you mean re:cardboard, because it drives me crazy...along with anything, really, of a rough texture, especially rough fabrics like carpetting and coarsely sewn jeans. I don't mind it so much on my legs, but touching it with my hands gives me the willies.

Meanwhile, some of my assbuttons are:

1. A good cup of home-brewed coffee.

2. Throwing balls around with my dog and chasing him.

3. Sitting in a diner at 3 AM, eating pancakes with friends.

Assbutton: Most of the folk who live in Berkeley.
Elevator butt: A good non- story telling ballet.

Assbutton: Double posts.

I couldn't spell equivalent earlier either. I'm still not sure if I spelled bearaurcracy right.

Yeah, cardboard. It didn't used to be that way, it was a developed thing, probably from that job. Brown paper grocery bags are the same way. My skin keeps crawling just typing about and thinking about it. But then I used to make hundreds or thousands of boxes in a day. I also used to manually load 55 foot trailers with 30-70 pound boxes on a regular basis. (You'd be surprised how far you can chuck a 60 pound box of t-shirts. We never did get a forklift or loading dock or platform lift or anything.)

Addendum: A good cup of coffee.

Playing with the cats. Watching my rats poing around and do stupid things.

3. Sitting in a diner at 3 AM, eating pancakes with friends.

Mmmmm...late night pancakes.........

Doesn't take a lot to get me ticked. But one of the things that sends me over the edge is old men with anti-abortion stickers on their cars. You got no dog in this fight, grandpa. Let it go!

A) Whiners, negativity, rudeness, mean- or spitefulness, misplaced senses of entitlement, being accused of lying. Loud, sharp noises make me red line immediately - oddly enough, however, I love the sound of breaking glass (and the song, too.)

B) Physically: having the top part of my ear rubbed or the inside of my arm lightly stroked

Experientially: laughing, hearing mirthful laughter, and making people laugh; bonus, falling asleep to the sounds of people laughing in nearby room. Water - all forms and just about every way you can experience it. An unexpected text message/email or letter. Good convo, good smells, too.


And I must say that I'm completely surprised that anyone of the MeFi persuasion would be overcome with pleasure by double posts. Who knew?

1. In the car: people who come to a complete stop before turning right. Tailgaters. People who wait an entire car length before turning left on a green arrow even though the light is going to change and there's a whole line of cars trying to turn aaaaaaagggggghhhhhh!!!
Out of the car: Rude and/or stupid grocery store cashiers. It's an avocado. They're not that unusual anymore. Yes, those are green beans. So you've never seen them before. Okay. Excuse me for buying something besides frozen crap. Would you mind interrupting your conversation long enough to bag my groceries?

2. Clean sheets. The beach. The woods. Waterfalls. A drink after work, outside, with friends. Fancy restaurants. Getting a package. New underwear. Trying on clothes and finding something - in a size smaller than usual - that fits perfectly, looks great and is really cheap!

And I must say that I'm completely surprised that anyone of the MeFi persuasion would be overcome with pleasure by double posts.

Go wash your mouth out!

Heh!

1. Flour or dirt or chalk on my hands (oh god, it makes my gums itch thinking about it), neighbors with no concept of other people (blasting music in car as they drive up late at night, blasting same music as they drink coffee in their kitchen while car warms up, grilling on the patio underneath my bedroom window at 12:30 at night, working on hardwood floors at 1:30 a.m. etc. etc.), being told to "calm down".

2. The smell of clean laundry, a new book, presents, someone rubbing my head or hair, headbutt from one of my cats, my husband acting on a preference I stated in passing, flaky pie crust, someone laughing at my jokes.

former: bullies and ignorance

latter: things deceptively small and fluffy

maybe
i just got up

i will not post rude links in this thread
i will not post rude pics in this thread
i will not call out ass buttons
i will not make human ass buttons
i will not make a human ass out of buttons--
i will not-- ARRGH!

You ok there?

me? sure
although it was heck searching around to post that bubees up for ya
i'd link but i've got jruns

I am confused. In the meantime what makes me hostile and want to KILL, KILL, KILL? ...

Stopping to talk with your freinds IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING SIDEWALK WHEN I AM TRYING TO GET SOMEWHERE.

For my English friends: Stopping to talk with your friends IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING PAVEMENT WHEN I AM TRYING TO GET SOMEWHERE.

What is my ass button?

BEETHOVEN

it's cute as a button and potentially full of ass

"Everything in here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannabalism, and that is frowned upon."

Capn and Cryptical Envelopment and I have a similar beef; mine is people who stop in front of the turnstile they just walked through AS IF THERE'S NOT LEGIONS OF PEOPLE BEHIND THEM TRYING TO GET SOMEWHERE AS WELL. People who do not work to preserve or enhance the general flow of foot-traffic in general are usually met with a sneer and if possible an elbow to the kidney without drawing the ref's attention. :)

1: People who line up on the left at a revolving door, then get pissed off when you crash into them.

Because there is no way to stop in the door and wait 'til they get out of your way. It's a revolving door, you idiot. Get the fuck out of the way.

2: Tip hugging.

Hugh, I just have to ask: What is 'tip hugging'?

It's kinda dirty (but not totally perverted). Sure you wanna know?

Okay, fine, I'll tell you, already. It's when, during oral sex, all attention is paid to the glans. Serious elevator button.

Well, you may have a point there. I'm sure that preserving my pure-as-the-driven-snow naivete is of slightly higher importance.

So, that really is a flint knapper in your pocket, then?

Well! *coughs* There you have it.

Yes, yes, and yes.

In other words, I'm a little embarrassed at my own puerility, but it's true -- more true than anything else.

Here's another #1: When my cubicle neighbor here at work comes back from martinis at lunch and figures she has to douse herself in perfume so nobody catches a whiff of her ginny breath. I think I'm developing asthma because of her.

It drives me crazy. My eyes are beginning to puff up. When I've mentioned it to coworkers, they shrug and say, "Oh, it's because she drinks at lunch."

It's always right before I go off to lunch, and usually nauseates me enough that I don't eat anything, and the rest of the workday is ruined.

I'd like to replace her perfume with gin one time, just to see what happens.

I would also like to replace her eyes with hot coals one time, just to see what happens.

Sorry, that's the itchy-eyed, short-breathed, nauseated [Hugh] talking.

Ha, no worries, as a restaurant employee, I've seen and heard more than my share. Besides, who can't benefit from having their vernacular horizons broadened?

As for your co-worker, perhaps you should suggest this and some altoids.

Thanks, Frisbee Girl, you just picked out her Secret Santa gift for this year. I can't wait!

1) yes yes yes, what the hell is it with people who have no understanding of how to get off an escalator, out of a revolving door or turnstiles? It's not that hard, people! That is truky irking behavior.

And so is masses of people crowding up to the subway/train/elevator door without letting people off first. I have actually attacked outward as if I was a bowling ball and they were all the pegs to get off trains moer than once. It works.

on the subject of 2) Hugh - you're not the only one to have that button. ;)

No number) That perfume is awesome.

[Hoo! Demeter fragrances are wonderful. I wore 'Gingerbread' and 'Sugar Cookie' for years. Mmmmm!]

dabitch, I used to live in Chinatown, where the norm seems to be to crowd onto the train without letting people off. I put my hands on my shoulders and rush off the train, elbows out. I'm pretty tall, so I occasionally whacked people in the forehead.

It's not that it only happens in Chinatown, but it always happens there. I'm so glad I don't have to commute there anymore (I don't have to commute at all!).

Goddamn fucking short stoppers of all stripes, be it off escalators, turnstiles or anywhere else. When I am the boss you are going to be allowed to cold neckslap those people.

People who get on the subway before you get off (which has always been a problem, but is reaching epidemic status in New York, what the wooly fucking limping rolling hell is the fucking problem?)

People in service jobs who don't do their fucking job properly because they are pissed to be in a service job. I cannot stand or excuse this in any way, people are so used to this nowadays that it can never be fixed. I've had service jobs, just do the job and get drunk at home. Even if you have no other option but to work in that shitty service job because of whatever shitty deal life has handed you, just do the job, this is called being a grown up.

People who beep at you the second the light turns green. Asshole I know, it's a four cylinder and I'm not gonna leave 18 feet of hot rubber so you can be home one eighth of second faster.

Yuppies.

Teenagers.

Selfishness.

Lack of manners in general is what I assume will bring about the end of the world (change assume to hope).

Sorry metafilteros, right now I hate the fucking I have no words tragedy/death post dot ".". I do, I'm sorry, say something or say nothing, do not indicate that you are saying nothing. Lord knows I am no picnic, but I just hate it. Sorry.

People who get pissed off at little inconsequential things.

Amoxicillin.

Terrorism, natural disasters, imperialism and television news.

Everything else makes me happy more or less. Especially beer, fucking, books, music, cold water, sleeping, my friends and loved ones and food. Oh, ocean breezes, those are awesome.




(Hugh, sad but true, I've been crosschecked by tiny little Chinese old ladies bumrushing the seats on an empty train. What is the deal please?)