... New Klosterman book...? WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED?!

I am a straight male born after 1958 and I did not have a Zep phase. Of course, my friends did, so it's entirely possible that I didn't have one just out of spite... to be different.

"every straight man born after 1958 has at least one transitory period when he believes Led Zeppelin is the only good band that ever existed"

Yes, that is a fact, for me it only lasted like two weeks, but I spent those two weeks sitting on a stone jetty in Long Island listening to zepplin in my shitty walkman till the tape broke. I listed to When the Levee breaks maybe 15 times a day for 14 days. Then I just went on to really liking them a bunch. I don't know about the straight part though, I have a gay metal head friend (Judas Priest like whoah) who makes a pretty good arguement about Zep being pretty squarely in the brilliant and so straight they're gay circles (ie has gay appeal).

"Plant's overt misogyny fused with Page's obsession with the occult, since that combination allows adolescent males to reconcile the alienation of unhinged teenage sexuality with their own inescapable geekiness."

Plant is the most embarassing man in rock and roll, I mean that in a good way.

"Led Zep sounds like the way a cool guy acts....they sound like the kind of cool guy every man vaguely thinks he has the potential to be, if just a few things about the world were somehow different."

See the DVD "How the West Was Won" for about a millon examples of this, Page does these little like point at his guitar things (like "you see this shit right here, I am going to kill it") and then just explodes with the guitar wank (once again in a good way)


Do they have much zep on the juke at Antarctica? We should stage a round table: "Zepplin, Gnostic Mages of Rock or Super Druid Vikings from beyond Hell?"

I think they have In Through The Out Door of all things.

Capn, did you have a Floyd phase? That's the only alternative.

Capn, did you have a Floyd phase? That's the only alternative.

Er... yes.

In guitar magazines, they always have Page's solos written out. And it's so funny to see how they try to work all the glitches out onto the tablature/staff, rhythmically and note-wise.

Page knows where he's going, and doesn't worry about how he gets there. He's my favorite guitarist because he realizes precision is for classical musicians; rock is rock because it has soul.

Maybe an explanation is in order. Missed/off-key/inexact notes are what makes soul, soul. And what makes good rock, to me, is soul. Perfection is soulless -- soul cannot exist in an autotuned vacuum. I repeat: nothing autotuned has soul. Anathema.

John Bonham was the best rock drummer, ever. Well, maybe Dave Grohl, but he doesn't drum that much anymore. It actually pisses me off no end that Grohl doesn't play drums for his band, because he is denying the world something incredible. Like Jordan playing baseball. Who gives a shit whether Dave Grohl can become a mediocre guitarist and frontman when he is the best rock drummer alive. And it's not as if drumming and the sad end of Nirvana are emotionally tied together for him and he can't drum anymore. He's perfectly happy to help Queens of the Stone Age put together a few of the most self-assured rock singles of the last decade. But he's going to follow his ego with the Foo Fighters? Shame on him! Drum, dammit, Dave, drum! For us! For the world!

Right, so, speaking of Immigrant Song, the How the West Was Won CD set has the most awesome version of that, ever. And speaking of Page, what a solo! Electrifying work -- and a perfect example of Page's sloppy ingenuity. When it finally reaches those repeated held high notes, "wee-nee-ee-nee-wee-nee-ee-nee! Eee-nee-wee-nee-wee-nee!" my head is thrown back and I'm standing spread-legged, playing air guitar and just letting my hair stand on end, man! Valhalla, I am coming, indeed.

If you don't have it, you should.

Long live Zep.

Actually, upon rereading, I said Dave Grohl was maybe as good as Bonham. That's not really true. Definitely almost as good. Maybe nearly as good.

Not as good.

Here's something I heard a radio DJ say that has been under my skin ever since.

Now, Led Zeppelin is frequently referred to as "Led Zep," or simply, "Zep."

Def Leppard, similarly, is often abbreviated, "Leppard."

So, some douchebag on the Baltimore airwaves referred to Def Leppard, unironically, as "Def Lep."

I mean, what the friggin' fuck?

Plant is the most embarassing man in rock and roll,

I thought it was Geddy Lee, actually.

I second Geddy Lee, though question whether Rush is really rock. Or, if they're really a band, and not just assembled automata of wankery.

"...and SALESmen!"

Plant has more exposure, more pirate shirts and more all around ponce essence, Geddy's a tooth-chipper, no doubt, he cannot go the distance however.

I thought it was Geddy Lee, actually.

I think you're thinking of Steve Perry. Although Geddy Lee can keep him company - in HELL. I used to say that Rush was my least favorite band of all time, but then I realized that I can laugh when I hear Rush (and very occasionally I can even find a small bit that I sincerely enjoy). So I moved Journey to the top of the list of bands I really fucking hate. Which sucks, because my wife, who generally loves great music, has a soft spot for Journey and will occasionally taunt me with some of their repertoire.

See, Plant may be embarrassing, but Lee is humiliating. Flamboyantly mediocre.

And Journey is a whole colony of embarrassments. Good call, Slack-a-gogo.

I just saw Robert Plant last week at a jazz record store digging through the old blues albums. I guess everytime he's in town he stops in and buys a stack of blues vinyl and CDs.

I used to laugh every time "Big Log" came on MTV.

I wonder if Beavis and Butthead ever watched that video.

I'm heterossexual, love rock and roll, and have never listened to a whole Led Zepplin album. I'm sorry. Also no Pink Floyd. It's wierd, and I was just remarking on it to a friend.

I have an excuse, which is that I grew up in a town (DC) in a time (mid-80s) where there was a lot of homegrown music played by musicians that eschewed mainstream recognition. Now, I'm smart enough to realize that they were listening to everything, just not seeking the majors for themselves. Then, I was too young not to be (loud and) snotty.

I like Led Zep a lot but I think that guys observations are weird.

I've never felt they were the only good band that ever existed and have never felt that about any band or artist. And why the word good - that seems somehow wrong.

I find Plant's "misogyny" humourous much like AC/DCs, and the occult stuff might be good for a few annecdotes but seems kind of irrelevant to me.

they sound like the kind of cool guy: Do people really think Led Zep sound like cool guys? I'm genuinely surprised.

I think this guy is more wrapped in the myth than the music in some ways, which for guys like me who only got into them long after they split is kind of beside the point.

They do seem to have something of the geek about them, particulalry in the way they attract hairy Tolkein fans, and let's face it - all great guitarists spent more than a little time as teenagers locked in their bedrooms noodling into the night. They may have over compensated later but they're all geeks at heart.

Hmm, rearrange all these words until they make sense or something.

I love the bit in that Zep song where the guitar goes meedley meedley medeleleleleleleleele eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee mao mao MAO!

Mao?
≡ Click to see image ≡

Yeah, Zep wasn't no dang commies.

I was backstage at a Leppard show a few years ago.

I give the Def Leppard drummer props for hanging in there. I'm not too fond of his sound, but I've heard two armed drummers blow in comparison.

Klosterman's observations are often kind of off-base but he's so enjoyable to read just for the style and energy.

I've never read him. Is his cocoa puffs book any good? (All this food talk here today is killing me.)

Start with Fargo Rock City. Possibly the only intelligent book ever about hair metal.

Thanks, for the lead. I thought Running with the Devil was pretty fair on the hair metal peeps, too. Although, they're really only a subset of all discussed in that book -- and it sounds like it may have been written with a little less zest than Klosterman. (Still, if you haven't checked it out, it's pretty good and usually available from the library).

That book was interesting, but far too scholarly, and the author was plainly not one of us. Chuck writes as a fan, not a professor.

I'll definitely have to check him out then. Thanks again.

What other books do you suggest? I finished Let it Blurt day before yesterday and have added the Klosterman books to my list. I have a couple Greil Marcus books (Mystery Train and In the Fascist Bathroom) sitting on the To Read pile, but haven't warmed up to his writing yet.

What else should I add to the pile?

Let it Blurt, by the way, is a fine read.

I'm headed out the door to the ol' library right now, but if you haven't read Please Kill Me yet, I thought it was a pretty good book. (I'll be checking back in tomorrow to cull the good suggestions from others as well.)

I love Greil Marcus in small doses, but he can be a bit much in a whole book. In college I tracked down many of his early writings for various magazines and dug them quite a bit, but I skipped around a lot while reading his books. It took me 10 years to get momentum going, but last year I finally read (and loved) Lipstick Traces. But that book is hardly even about music.

For rock books I think you need to read Lester Bangs (Psychotic Reactions) and Please Kill Me. I also recommend Nick kent's "Dark Stuff" and Clinton Heylin's "From the Velvets to the Voidoids" if you're into punk at all. I'm trying to stay a way from rock books for a while since it seems like that's all I've been reading over the past few years.

I like some of Marcus, and all of Legs McNeill, Lester Bangs and Dave Marsh.

Right, so, speaking of Immigrant Song, the How the West Was Won CD set has the most awesome version of that, ever.
Second that. While purists may cringe, I also love Whole Lotta Love on that album - all 23 minutes of it. But then, I am known for my poor musical taste.

Went through a fairly quick Zep phase myself. Still dig a few songs ("Black Dog", "Nobody's Fault But Mine"), but so much of the early stuff just sounds like fucked-up blues to me.

As for rock books, I'll second or third on "Psychotic Reactions", and also "Main Lines, Blood Feasts, and Bad Taste". "Please Kill Me" and "Our Band Could be Your Life" are both worth looking into. I just finished Marcus' new one on Dylan's "Like Rolling Stone" - it's good, but kinda overdone.

That could describe just about all of Marcus' writing my man, but ultimately, it's of no consequence because:

You wake up in the morning
totally confused
Can't get a date
but you're getting screwed

you're searching for a reason
a way to carry on
when everything is broken
and everything is wrong

So you tried to save the whales
found a tree to kiss
gave a crippled child
his dying wish

You're waiting for an answer
a message from above
you've always been a sucker
another fool in love

What's it all about?
Pussy & Money
I ain't tryin' to be cute
I ain't tryin' to be funny
Everybody lies about pussy & money
It's always gonna be that way...

...you can pray every night when the sun goes down
but there's only two things that make the world go round

What's it all about?
Pussy & Money
I ain't tryin' to be cute
I ain't tryin' to be funny
Everybody lies about pussy & money
It's always gonna be that way...

Thanks for the book suggestions.