Okay here’s my post:

Seems like a key tendency to avoid in oneself while dating is ‘insecurity.’ Setting aside all other aspects of insecurity, it is counter-​productive, because it manifests as unattractive behaviors: lack of confidence; being clingy or needy; being overly available and giving.

In fact, it seems like having an independent sense of personhood and purpose—staying on your goals—is helpful at all stages of the cycle: whether you’re looking for a relationship, in a relationship, or picking up the pieces after a failed relationship. Have your own life goals.

Pondering this dynamic reminds me of an old tweet I saw from Sarah Silverman: “I don’t want to complete you — I want you to come complete”.

I am so, so thankful that I went through the whole dating thing far, far back in the mists of time, before there were these things called apps. I hear people describe what it's like in this age of smartphones, dating apps, and the apparent expectations of behavior using them, and I know I would probably opt for being a hermit if I had to engage in today's dating scene.

I've never used a dating app, but I've been on a few dating sites, both free and paid-for, and it was horrendous. Liars, scammers, pigs and weirdos seemed to be all I could find. I've given up now and have embraced my inner bog witch.

I hear people describe what it's like in this age of smartphones, dating apps, and the apparent expectations of behavior using them

Yeah I hear ya. But there are a few 90s scenes about this situation I memed but instead of texting it's about answering machines.

George Costanza in Seinfeld and a guy in the movie 'Swingers' leave too many messages in a row on a woman's answering machine lol. Same thing where it's like "dude you should have just left one message and waited."

Liars, scammers, pigs and weirdos seemed to be all I could find.

That's unfortunate :(

But I understand, I am pondering this difficulty-of-meeting-people too.

I seem to have met someone but I am in a paradoxical situation where I kinda want to take it a bit slower but I also don't want to assume that it's easy to meet people you have a connection with off these apps.

So like, I don't want to suddenly close the deal and say we are in a relationship, but I also don't want to take such a connection for granted. At this point I'm thinking that instead of trying to resolve this with logic I should just let things congeal in my mind and I will figure out what I want to do over a couple weeks...

PS. I made another dating meme lol

This is about how perhaps all ‘tips and techniques’ provide very minor leverage over the main factor, which is whether they are into you.

link

Taking time is always good if the other party is copisetic....