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07 March 2017

Tv and movies lied to me. [More:]It turns out slipping on a banana peel, quicksand, and terrorists really pose a much smaller danger than I was led to believe.
Also sharks, marijuana 'addiction'. GMOs and zombies.

Don't get me started on gluten.
posted by oneswellfoop 07 March | 18:56
My great uncle Jeff was killed when his car was hit by a wheel that had flown off an ADM gluten tanker truck.
posted by arse_hat 07 March | 20:08
He was just a gluten for punishment.
posted by oneswellfoop 07 March | 21:53
Giant swarms of flesh-eating soldier ants have yet to pose a problem in my life. I have sat against many a tree with ants nearby without being reduced to a skeleton in a hat.
posted by Senyar 08 March | 13:33
I'm say the slip and fall is very underplayed on a threat level.
posted by ethylene 08 March | 16:24
Also the likelihood of sharks eating me, crowds of people panicking and mowing me down, getting any notice at all that an asteroid is going to collide with Earth, being killed by relative strangers with which one has sex, or having the ability to suddenly break into song and dance with orchestral accompaniment, has all been greatly oversold IMO.
posted by bearwife 08 March | 18:53
I once did the break into song and dance thing and I fell into a fountain and cracked three ribs. I don't recommend it.
posted by arse_hat 08 March | 20:48
Can we include all the thing advertised on TV showing that I'm an incompetent fool who doesn't know how to stack Tupperware in a csbinet, clean a house or hammer a nail.

Also, my nonexistent gold isn't worth all that much.

It's not possible for Erika Kane to have been married THAT many times.
And, you know, the star crossed lovers are really not going to last.
posted by mightshould 08 March | 20:59
It turns out slipping on a banana peel

Once I actually did slip on a real banana peel and I was shocked how slippery that thing was.
posted by Miko 08 March | 22:03
mightshould I always look at those commercials and think 'No. I am not that stupid.'

Miko, you are like a unicorn. I never thought I would see a real banana slipee. (slipper?)
posted by arse_hat 08 March | 23:15
I too have slipped on a banana peel and they are a deathly hazard. All this supposed comedy cloaks lurking menace. It's not like banana peels got less slippery, it's just way less acceptable for people to toss them on the ground, thankfully, hopefully. You could easily take out any unsuspecting pedestrians or an office block.
posted by ethylene 10 March | 05:22
And I feel for people with celiac because gluten is delicious and I think they need to open a new special ring of hell for people who pretend to have allergies.
posted by ethylene 10 March | 05:25
An episode of Two Fat Ladies. || Using US credit card to ship Canadian meds to US?