That is a tough choice. The uncertainties of self-employment have never appealed to me. But I've never worked at the type of company you're with, and I don't know if I could cope with the dictats of management whims, notwithstanding the benefits. But then I live in the UK, where I don't have to worry about health insurance, paid holidays (EU regulations stipulate a minimum of 5 weeks) or 'at will' firings.

I honestly don't know what to suggest. I can see the good and bad in both situations.

pros and cons list? Plus, making a decision when frazzled is, of course, not so good. (which you know!)

I am happy to put up with a lot for scheduling flexibility - at the last job before this, my manager refused to approve time off very far in advance, making it difficult to plan any vacations or use the time off. (And she would only track time off in half day increments, so if you had to leave an hour early for a doctor's appointment, you just had to take a half day off.) So I'm happy to put up with frustration at current job in order to keep the flexible time off policy. (especially since they are very flexible about me caring for my gma/taking her to appointments)

I know you said it's really busy right now, but is there any way to keep your current freelance contacts while you try the other job, if your freelance stuff dries up for a month or so soon?

As someone who has worked both ways (in the design industry also), I personally could never go back to a schedule that is dictated to me that I can't change, no matter how slow or busy I got out on my own. I've learned to roll with the ebb & flow of work, and while both extremes are stressful, the overarching benefit & anchor is knowing I make my own schedule & decide which jobs I take.

Everyone is different though, and there will always be good & bad things no matter where and how you work.

Maybe if you took a 1 day (or even just an afternoon) breather & spent time outside, washing your car, or on walks with the dog, that would give you some headspace to decide whether to make a change.

I refuse to make any more big life decisions. From here on in, I'm asking the 8 Ball.

Let it sit and go with your gut. This is the kind of decision for which I try to listen to the wiser inner side of me, rather than making lists of pros and cons.

Pinkie, *Snicker*
The 8 ball said "Reply hazy try again"....

Yeah, I really like the challenges in design work that's related to the difficult projects where I freelance - but I'm truly exhausted due to the schedule that hasn't stopped since January. Being new to freelancing after being laid off during the recession means that the lean times are not that far behind me and I'm so afraid of that happening again.

My gut says stick with the devil I know, which is the freelancing work while keeping the weekend position at big box. But there are only two cabinet design positions at the store, and they come open very rarely, so I'm hesitant to let it slip away since I'm pretty sure they expect me to apply and take the position. I'm not that young, so that means age related hiring isn't unusual; fortunately, this store doesn't push people out who are "older".

I've managed to survive quite a few difficult times, which is something that I am trying to keep in mind. Maybe I can get a day off this Friday and just let it come to me.

Maybe Friday will be a good day to air this issue again here, if that helps you at all.