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07 December 2014

YOU MUST CHOOSE: Partner who never laughs or has a horrible laugh you find disturbing/disgusting?[More:]

Additionally, once you decide, add your own version of Sophie's choice.
I will take the horrible laugh, because I can get used to that, but I can never get used to humorless people.

Choose: The same, oh, let's say, 40 books that you can read as many times as you want, or all the books in the world but you can read each one only once.
posted by JanetLand 07 December | 11:51
I choose the horrible laugh; agree with JanetLand that a humorless person would be far worse.

As for JanetLand's question, I take all the books in the world.

Choose: The ability to become invisible or the ability to fly?
posted by Kangaroo 07 December | 12:09
I almost put humorless, but instead put just not laughing, which is very different. You have have quite a sense of humor without being an easy laugh, but if someone's laugh or smile is repellent? But then for women it's quite political in ways as some men refuse to laugh for women. And I'm talking about a laugh/smile you can't get "use" to, it's a visceral reaction. You may gloss over it, but when the varnish fades, wouldn't it rise to the surface that this person's signs of joy are unpleasant? Wouldn't one then avoid them? Can you tell I've given this a bit of thought? Oh, the stories. It reminds me of a supposed quote from Lee Harvey Oswald's wife that she never liked his smell.

Janetland: the latter

Kangaroo: the former. I can't imagine just being able to fly means you can breathe or avoid shrapnel or control body temperature, etc., in which case invisibility is way more useful.

I'm saving my next one for when I can think.
posted by ethylene 07 December | 13:11
I'd take the laughing for sure, the invisibility, and the never-read books though that would be a sacrifice.

My choice: you can have a million bucks a year debt-free and spend it on whatever you want, but you can never travel go further than a 50-yard radius from your house; or you have the freedom to go anywhere you want in the world but have to live on the income you have now.
posted by Miko 07 December | 21:17
I dunno. I've had very close friends and relatives who had really, really annoying laughs. Some so bad that I had twitches of embarrassment to be with them when they let loose with a laugh. One of them had a type of laugh that, while definitely sincere, sounded extremely phony, forced and over-played. I think I'd much rather go with "no laughing". That doesn't mean "no smile" or "no response at all". Some people with very dry senses of humor almost never laugh, but quite obviously have a great sense of humor.

I'll have to think about the choice. Just too many possibilities.
posted by Thorzdad 08 December | 10:54
I have one but I think maybe people should post their choices separately or else it's going to be a gauntlet to answer this post. Maybe after five there's a new post or this could be a weekly post.

I've come up with a few but I'll sit on them for now, except they're related to this question.

Miko: absolutely no doubt I'd travel, but there's no way the "freedom" to travel anywhere isn't worth uncountable amounts of money. Getting messages out for prisoners, spy work, getting backstage anywhere, investigative journalism-- it's endless

Back to horrible laughs, I know a guy with a horrible laugh. After the mention of him, the next thing almost anyone said was "that laugh." And it was horrible, a mix of donkey braying and pfft pfft spitty grossness, a nasally whiny heh heh heh, and I can't even go into the range of awfulness because it was a range in which every type was somehow worse. But he's nice and very good looking and decent. It never bothered me to the extend everyone else was bothered by it, but it did make me question if there was anything as excellent about him as the laugh was bad, which there wasn't at the time. It was hardly his only flaw, but since then I've noticed a range of horrible laughs that transform a person. That one top chef contestant who just makes this creepy heh heh sound, much like this other guy who's core weaknesses seem summed up in his simpering little self congratulatory laugh. Then there's this panel show guy who just loudly exclaims ha HA which doesn't bother me nearly as much as it was at first surprising.

When you make people laugh on a regular basis, the weird ones stand out, but it's the gross ones that stick with you, and I think it's very hard for it not to affect you if you pay attention to details like when they laugh and how they laugh. That first guy I mentioned with the disgusting laugh everyone still hates, he only ever laughed in a kind of joyful way, like an uncontrollable mirth, which I think is why it never really bothered me in the way it did everyone else. The creepy ones at the misfortune of others, they bother me. Then there's unfortunate smiles, which are not worse than egregious, frequent fake smilers, who end up with fake smile face as their just punishment.
posted by ethylene 08 December | 13:09
I would take:
The bad laugh- at least he is reponding!
All the books- I am not much of a re-reader anyway except for maybe 3 titles. There is just too much out there to try.
Flight- I have flying dreams all the time and I don't understand why I can't just do it
Travel- being trapped in one place sounds scary and limited, even with all the internet and ability to fly people in to see me.

My question:
Would you rather have the same (it can be your favorite) dinner every night for the rest of your life but unlimited dessert choices? Or the opposite?
posted by rmless2 08 December | 14:15
Oh, the opposite all the way.
posted by ethylene 08 December | 17:03
I used to work with a woman who had a horrid laugh. It went like this: She would first give a little scream and this was followed by an evil cackle. People actively tried to maintain a serious demeanor around her so that she wouldn't have reason to let loose.
posted by Kangaroo 08 December | 17:42
rmless: the opposite!
posted by bearwife 08 December | 18:18
Yes, Kangaroo, that's the thing: even unconsciously, you end up avoiding making someone smile or laugh if it is unpleasant, which is really sad, or you'd have to be on face patrol to not let it slip that it's unpleasant-- you'd end up avoiding making someone else happy, which seems a special kind of sad that's more than a bit cruel. No one should end up with someone who is disgusted by them.
posted by ethylene 08 December | 19:31
Unlimited dinner, same dessert.
posted by Miko 08 December | 22:14
Ditto. I hate desert.
posted by JanetLand 09 December | 08:22
Christmas Cooking. || I'm pregnant with twins!

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