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27 October 2014
I have decided to start doing everything Right. Hopefully it's not to late.→[More:]
(Wait, wondering if it's too late is not doing things Right, right? *mind contorts* *gives up and goes back to eating candy while watching TV all day*)
Doing, everything right while you have time left??
Yup. Or just, "do everything Right in this moment."
That's really one of the key things I've been learning for the past few months (maybe the last couple years), kinda like Buddhists or Stoics will tell you, that regardless of everything else, what about Right Now?
Someone wise (my wife) suggested I should stop thinking about what I should do and instead do what I want. It's surprising how often those coincide. Doing what I want sets aside the moral framework of "shoulds" in favor of action aimed at gratification and satisfaction.
When I follow my heart I do the right thing. Must mean my heart is in the right place.
N.B. I also make mistakes including entirely intentional lapses of loving-kindness. That's human. That's also history. What's next?
Firas, my friiend, sometimes we just have to let ourselves off the hook.
The key to happiness is low expectations.
My goal for today, for instance, is just to keep breathing. (At the moment, I'm enjoying the quiet of an empty classroom and the taste of a chocolate tootsie-pop.)
[HJ-- you never did say goodbye. : ( Just trying to live up to your name? ; )
Actually right around the time I made this post some things I was worried about ended up smoothing out. I went right from being tightly-wound for weeks to stumbling into a 'free zone' of whoa , things are okay, I feel okay now, now what? But the trick is to keep going and ride that wave of good things rather than messing them up again.
P.S. I also just noticed that I misspelled "too late" in my post, which is guaranteed to happen anytime someone wants to be particularly right, correct or pedantic on the net.
Sorry for leaving à la française like that, Pips, but I was in Queens unemployed and spiraling downward, wasting money and time I didn't have, thousands of miles from my love, and I realized I had no good reason to stick it out in the US of A looking for a future that wasn't very bright. The upsides to moving to Japan were manifold.
As with everything, my decision to leave was precipitous and I barely left myself time to say goodbye to my landlord.
I wish I could have been a better friend to you guys, to a lot of people, over the past few years, but aside from the incredibly bright point of falling in love I was depressed economically, mentally and physically; in short, I was as much a shut-in as I've ever been.
Tears of a clown. In every way, I'm in a better place now. I do wish I had been a better friend to you guys. My radio silence was clumsy and probably hurt. I apologize for that. From a distance I can see my mistakes. Friends are for more than just good times, and I'm not so good at telling people face to face that I'm unhappy.
I'm happy now, though, and I hope both of you are, too. I love you guys and I appreciate your friendship. I've learned a lot from you. Thanks for having so much patience for someone who still has a great deal yet to learn.
Hugh, there's nothing to apologise for - the times I've spent with you in New York are cherished memories. I couldn't be happier that things have worked out for you. The K-1 visa process is brutal and so it made perfect sense for you to move to Japan to be with your love.
And thanks for the kind words, HJ. I truly appreciate it. I'm sorry you had such a rough time for awhile, but I'm so glad you've found happiness. Your friendship and well-being mean a lot to us, too. Hugs to you and your beautiful wife.
(Senyar, I didn't know your name was Pips, too? ; ) In any case, sorry for the delay in responding, HJ-- I tried to respond earlier, but for some reason my comment would preview but not post. And now, if y'all will excuse me, the Great Pumpkin is on!)