artphoto by splunge
artphoto by TheophileEscargot
artphoto by Kronos_to_Earth
artphoto by ethylene





Mecha Wiki

Metachat Eye


IRC Channels



Comment Feed:


05 September 2014

Letting go of a dream :-( Over the years, I've posted here about the progress towards building my own house.[More:] As it turns out, all that work, stress, tears and a little blood has been for nothing. With the separation from my (now) ex and the resulting increase in my outgoings, I've come to the realisation that I can never finish the house so, at the end of this month, I will hopefully no longer own it.

What started as a dream ends with me hoping it sells for enough that I won't be left with ongoing debt from it. Ah well, such is life.
post by: dg at: 15:16 | 23 comments
Ah, damn, I'm sorry about that. It's a beautiful house and I'm sure it'll be snapped up, because it's a blank canvas, with everything beautifully fitted and all that's needed is the finishing touches.

Good luck to you, dg. I'm sure someone will recognise its value and will make it a happy home.
posted by Senyar 05 September | 15:45
Sorry, man. Looks great though. You have good taste (by which I mean similar to mine).

Are those terrazzo floors?
posted by mullacc 05 September | 16:25
Shit. So sorry about all of it dg.
posted by arse_hat 05 September | 17:01
mullac, the floors are polished concrete - basically just standard concrete ground down progressively to leave a perfectly smooth surface then polished. Looks great, easy to keep clean and also great for sliding on in socks ;-)
posted by dg 05 September | 17:10
Such a lovely house -- I love all the windows, and high ceilings. Modern, but comfortable. A melancholy sale, for sure.
posted by Pips 05 September | 17:57
Life is what happens when you're making other plans. :(
posted by Melismata 05 September | 19:14
I'm so sorry. It's beautiful! You did good work.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 05 September | 19:42
It really is a great house. So sorry that it didn't work out, dg.
posted by gaspode 05 September | 23:04
That house is absolutely beautiful and nicely sited. I know it must be really hard to let go. At the same time, dg, I hope that some of this represents a freedom and new possibilities for you. It seems like it's been hard at times to try to hold everything together.
posted by Miko 05 September | 23:11
Awww .. it's a nice house and I'm sorry it didn't work out how you wanted. I offer my sincere hope that better days are ahead for you. ((((((dg))))))
posted by Kangaroo 06 September | 12:38
I agree with everyone, it's a great looking place. Alas. Hope the sale goes well and letting it go helps you get things together for the new chapter.
posted by Firas 06 September | 14:18
Thanks everyone :-)

It feels a bit selfish and 'first world problem' and I know people here are going through much worse in their life. This house and the conceiving, designing and building of it, though, has been a huge focus in my life for many years now and accepting that it's not going to be finished (by me, anyway) is a huge disappointment to me. But I've more or less accepted that walking away is the best thing for me and that, yes, getting out from under the crushing burden of debt and other stressors it has brought will allow me to move on and re-build my life. I still can't quite imagine how it will feel to be debt-free and without the constant reminder of things left unfinished, but more and more I'm looking forward to finding out.
posted by dg 06 September | 15:45
basically just standard concrete ground down progressively to leave a perfectly smooth surface then polished

I'm not used to seeing polished concrete floors with so much visible aggregate. This is what I'm used to seeing (that's a house my brother remodeled).

Anyway, I really like what you did.
posted by mullacc 06 September | 19:00
A home that you've designed and built yourself is such a personal and intense creation: it's both an outward extension of your person and and intimate nest. I hope you can remember what an amazing accomplishment it is and be proud of it even though it must be heartwrenching to let it go.

posted by mightshould 07 September | 18:39
I'm so sorry dg...but I think you're handling it well. It'll be a change, not having the house consume much of your life/habits/concerns, but now you can turn in new directions and new experiences. Hugs to you, in your altered journey!
posted by redvixen 07 September | 21:25
I had to sell a house that I was restoring in the '90s due to my divorce. It's tough to let go of all the plans you had.
posted by octothorpe 08 September | 07:30
I'm sorry dg, I can see how much care you put into it.
posted by brujita 08 September | 07:53
Hugs and warm thoughts. It's a beautiful house--I'm sorry you have to let it go, but I hope through that, you find peace, stability, and room for new big dreams.

Side note: one of the best lessons that recent times has taught me is that it's ok to be upset about the things that upset one, be they first world problems, big scary monster problems, or just tiny, almost imperceptible things that give you sads. There's no need to justify having feelings. :)
posted by Twiggy 08 September | 09:01
Ah, dg, I'm sorry! It does sound like you are in a good place about all the change, at least. I'm hopeful that new directions can be invigorating for you too. I know my road has been bumpy (and continues to be at times) but I've found the new beginning brought wonderful new people and experiences into my life. Email me if you're ever inclined!
posted by richat 08 September | 10:31
Yeah, definitely trying to focus on this as a beginning, not an ending. It's taken me a year (since my ex moved out) to get to the point of letting go, but I'm looking forward to it more and more. The kids are also getting into the idea of moving - my youngest daughter has been looking at rental properties online and has fallen in love with a townhouse that's (just) big enough for us and also has a huge pool and spa and a gym in the complex. I'm torn between the idea of having a relatively small place with that sort of facilities and absolutely no outside maintenance and a larger place with more privacy but still having to mow and garden (not even close to what I have to do now, though). It feels good to be thinking about decisions for the future after living so long in what is really the past.
posted by dg 09 September | 05:40
The agent has added some very cool video footage taken using a drone -

Auction is tomorrow - much stressed about the outcome :-(
posted by dg 27 September | 01:19
The music is bad but the place looks huge. Could you possibly come out on top with this situation?
Cutting the line on a weight that's dragging you down is a relief sometimes unrealized until the lightness of being is felt, but maybe you'll make a profit and a decent credit on your house skills?
posted by ethylene 27 September | 03:34
So, it's done - house sold at auction for $2k over the reserve. Took 40 minutes to get there, though - the first bid was $130k below the reserve and it crept up in $500 and even $250 increments. We ended up dropping the reserve by $15k so we could declare it 'on the market' and that sped up the bidding a bit until it reached the original reserve and then took about 6 more bids and another 15 minutes to finish up.

The price leaves me debt-free and with a little left over (depending on some negotiation with the ex about what gets paid off with the proceeds) so, while not as good an outcome as I had hoped for, it's OK and lets me move on free and clear to the next part of my life.

Had a massive turn up for the auction - about 60 people, including 8 registered bidders. Filled up the outdoor living area, both living areas and part of the master bedroom with people!
posted by dg 28 September | 00:26
Friday Question from the Book of Questions || Scenes from the Bunny island.