It's a shame that most of the time I'm busy, exhausted or both during daylight hours, because for some reason children love me.→[More:] Now, I realize some of the time it's because I am running around in something festive and/or odd, but up to the start of school, kids will either reach out or just come running at me, which is really funny because any attentive parent will then have to run defense and seize their child-- oh, their attendant novel fear and embarrassment-- but it's the early tweens that are the most fun.
They're not yet self conscious adolescents but they know enough that they shouldn't just run at you with a full speed tackle, so some get creative.

This girl came up to me earlier in a very crowded, bustling store, this epic outlet sale I'd accidentally stumbled into-- I've had maybe five hours sleep and been running a half tank of errands in the pouring rain-- and he says, "Is this yours?"
I glance down and she's holding a small blue plastic ball. "No," I say and I glance away and move on.
It's oddly clever because it was pretty obviously not my ball, I'm fairly positive it was hers, and I think she may have even courtesy mimed half a squat like she picked it up, but she wanted some harmless excuse for some interaction. Any slightly less weary in any aspect or circumstance and I would have made proper eye contact, given her a genuine smile, made a joke or a comment, or, just said yes and snatched the ball and run the hell away, but I was just that beat.

It's that extra consideration I try to give children and the elderly, because, for the most part, this place is a conversational wasteland with basically two forms of interaction with strangers: repetition of a rote script in which people say expected questions and answers or inappropriate questions they have no idea are inappropriate. Deviating from a predictable script will result in utter confusion no matter how clear the language, because they are expecting ice cream on top of that cone and you gave them a scoop of mashed potato, so everything you said sounds like a teacher in a Charlie Brown cartoon.

Ya know, I'm pretty sure that kid was not from this region and they trekked in for this sale.

If I have time tomorrow, I think I'm going to dress up like a Disney princess, grab a flute, and just steal a pack of children from a mall.