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23 January 2013

Soaking? [More:]Thorzmom works with birth mothers. Yesterday, they had occasion to start working with a young teenage birthmom, who swore there couldn't have been any way for her to be pregnant, as she claimed that she had never had sex.

Instead, she said she and her boyfriend "soaked". None of the counselors had heard this term. Soaking, it turns out, is full penetration, but no movement. Just holding still, I guess for as long as you can handle it.

Apparently, this is a thing and, also apparently, there are kids who believe this isn't sex and you cannot get pregnant this way.

Grieve for the future...
*facepalm*

I've never heard of that term either. Paging Stewriffic!

Still, it means that the embarrassing story about my two year old loudly telling me to get my hand off her vulva while we were in the middle of a crowded yet weirdly quiet store will be totally worth it.

(now, at 4, she understands about sex and babies, at a kind of 4 year old level, but refuses to believe me that babies come out via a woman's vagina "because that's just TOO silly, Mama!")
posted by gaspode 23 January | 11:49
Yeah I just heard about this a couple of days ago. I sighed so loudly my wife came downstairs to ask me what was wrong.
posted by Splunge 23 January | 11:49
In the words of a classic TV commercial, "We're soaking in it."
posted by oneswellfoop 23 January | 12:10
... and your username becomes clear! /sorry random derail
posted by initapplette 23 January | 12:16
I remember as a young child and learning about the whole sex thing (hello, "Where Did I Come From?"!), I didn't understand why the whole up-and-down movement needed to occur. If it was such a nice thing, sticking the thing in there (after all I liked to put my finger in there), why did they have to do so much extra work? I figured it out eventually.
posted by Melismata 23 January | 13:02
How odd. Despite copious rereadings of both "Where Did I Come From?" and "What's Happening To Me?" and liberal-town public school sex ed, and reading enough of my Charlie Brown 'Cyclopedia so that I explained (correctly) how babies were made to my mother at age 4...

...when it came time for me to enjoy that "special kind of hugging" for the first time, I thought that this "soaking" thing WAS sex. I mean, of course it is, but I thought that was all that was supposed to happen: he puts it in, and just sort of hangs out until he's, y'know, done. (Thankfully, I knew what "done" meant.)

This topic actually came up last weekend. My husband and I were discussing how those types of sex-ed books, even the fairly detailed ones, basically say things like, "the gentleman places his penis in the lady's vagina."

So later that night we went to a party at the home of someone who studies women's health. (Alcohol was present.) We kept saying things like, "Nothing turns me on more than when he says, 'Oh, my sweetheart. I am feeling amorous. Would you be so kind as to let me place my penis inside your vagina?'"
posted by Madamina 23 January | 13:08
... and your username becomes clear! /sorry random derail
To me too!

I guess this is the new 'you can't get pregnant the first time' thing.
posted by dg 23 January | 15:09
How can they know this and not know how incredibly fertile young women are -- so much so that heavy petting can lead to pregnancy? ANYTHING that gets those motile sperm near the vagina can result in a baby event.

It is astonishing what kids do and don't understand about their bodies.
posted by bearwife 23 January | 15:47
Paging Stewriffic!

Yeah, so now that I'm not working directly with kids anymore, my new sexual slang knowledge has plummeted. Glad to hear about this one. I'll use it when training teachers. I bet they've heard it.
posted by Stewriffic 23 January | 18:47
But...but....abstinence training will keep our kids from having sex!
posted by MonkeyButter 23 January | 19:43
Urban Dictionary
posted by Obscure Reference 23 January | 20:02
Every so often I helped out with digitizing the theses and dissertations done in the past. There was one that stuck out - a thesis on teen pregnancy and how the mothers were thinking at the time. Every last one said they didn't think it would happen. Out of something like fifteen, only three had tried some form of birth control.

posted by lysdexic 23 January | 22:35
'Oh, my sweetheart. I am feeling amorous. Would you be so kind as to let me place my penis inside your vagina?' OK! That's it! The smut level here is just to much to handle.
posted by arse_hat 24 January | 01:05
I still wish sex was just "soaking"...imagine how much easier it would have been to get used to, how much closer it would make people feel, how much less dirty/shocking sex would seem.
posted by serena 24 January | 13:33
You're soaking in it.
posted by arse_hat 25 January | 01:12
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