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22 January 2013

If everybody else is like me... [More:]When I'm old and lonely in a nursing home, I'll get no visitors before my 6:30 bedtime because my friends will be too busy running around buying age spot faders, making botox appointments, getting tooth implants and suchlike. Then when they wind up in the nursing home, their friends...etc.
This is why I need a friend or family member who is a dermatologist. I want someone who can do my fillers AND make house calls.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 January | 14:39
And as we learned from Seinfeld, a dermatologist can save a life.
posted by Obscure Reference 22 January | 14:54
I've solved this by having a friend who's 14 years younger ... I've made her promise that when I get old and drooly to take me out back and shoot me: seems to be the best solution to being old and alone.
posted by mightshould 23 January | 05:16
Nah, some of us won't live to nursing home age. ^_^
posted by Eideteker 23 January | 07:46
When I'm old and lonely in a nursing home, no one will visit me because I only have one nephew who's being raised 3,000 miles away and therefore won't ever feel particularly attached to me. My family line seems to be dying out.
posted by Melismata 24 January | 13:19
Likewise Melismata. I have no family here, except my worthless sister who I'm no longer in contact with, and long-distance cousins I've never been close to. I probably won't even reach the nursing home. I'll be found, weeks after my death, on my bedroom floor, half-eaten by cats ...
posted by Senyar 24 January | 14:05
(And said nephew has a drug-addicted father and a schizophrenic grandmother, so even if we do get close later I'm terrified that he has inherited something awful. Maybe he'll only visit the nursing home to steal money...)

At least the cats will be happy and well-fed, Senyar...:)
posted by Melismata 24 January | 15:30
"A drunk man will always find his way home, but a drunk bird may be lost forever." || Noir Désir - Le vent nous portera

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