Don't worry, honey, we all hate you too. May your Christmas spirit fill you with uncomfortable abdominal gas and a vague sense of dread for the new year.

Eff all you pancake bitches*

*I read that in a book somewhere long ago and have always wanted an opportunity to use it.

May all of your food be fruitcake. May all of your drinks be Nyquil and ginger ale.

... Well I just don't know WHAT to say!

*pearl-clutch*

I hope you get stuck in elevator playing an endless loop of Paul McCartney's "(Simply Having a) Wonderful Christmastime".

OMG* MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: fruitcake pancakes!

... no? Just me?

*OH MY GOURD**

**It's rough out there for an atheist who wants to express excitement

I hope you get stuck in elevator playing an endless loop of Paul McCartney's "(Simply Having a) Wonderful Christmastime".

So much for my Dec. 24 Giftstravaganza idea . . . .

JanetLand, I think the 24th is the perfect time for "Wonderful Christmastime"! I'm one of the few people (?) who really truly like the song with a sweet nostalgic love, but not after it's been clanging around in my head for weeks. Playing it just before all the Christmas songs come clattering to a halt seems ideal.

Each year I enjoy "Wonderful Christmas" the first time I hear it. But then the second time it seems a bit much, but not bad. But then I seem to keep hearing it and it starts to drive me nuts....slowly going mad.

At least the days will soon start getting longer.

I would rather listen to the Nutcracker Suite played with armpit farts than Wonderful Christmas.

Happy Fucking Holidays!

Nutcracker Suite played with armpit farts sounds fantastic. I would pay for that.

In the meantime, here's this wonderful thing. BOP, you should love it, it's slightly proggy.

OMG* MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: fruitcake pancakes!

No, fruitcake french toast!

No, raspberry pound cake french toast.

Oh wait, a bar near us does that for brunch. Nom.

Fruitcake and Nyquil French Toast!

It's White Christmas, by Bing Crosby, that makes me want to attack the speakers with a hammer.

Otherwise I am feeling rather full of good cheer and good will. Take THAT!

I like "Wonderful Christmastime," but for a moment, let's assume I don't. Then I'd have to see you Wonderful Christmastime and raise you The Christmas Shoes.

bearwife, try White Christmas by Otis Redding as an antidote.

You are so right, initapplette. Now, how to force the stores to play that version instead . . .

It's the weirdest thing: every year, my mother makes fruitcakes, and everybody loves them. Except me. I am not normal.

Bite me.

BOP, I would wish you explosive diarrhea were it not for your lovely wife, who truly is a saint upon this earth.

Maybe we could wish him dog poo on his shoes, Senyar. She could handle that.

May all of your stockings be filled with circus peanuts.

ooo oo I know! BOP I wish CAT BARF upon you. I'm certain Best Cat Ever(tm) can huck a hairball with the best of 'em.

/has cleaned up cat barf in the past 24h grr kittens & their hinky, immature GI systems, bleh.

I used to hate hate hate Wonderful Christmastime - since it came out. But last year, inexplicably, I started really liking it. Here are The Shins doing it.

But if you hate the song already and want to hate it more, you really need the 10 Hour Version. It's the Jingle Rock Bell of McCartneyana!

Then I'd have to see you Wonderful Christmastime and raise you The Christmas Shoes.

NOOOoooOOOooOOoooooo. Those who would foist that song upon us, may your stocking be filled with slightly unripe oranges and dusty unwrapped cough lozenges! May your last-minute afterthought gift orders from Amazon arrive late --- and spindled!

Hoping you and your lovely (and undeserved) wife just sit around a glare!

I don't hate everyone. Well, not quite. I have come to hate Christmas, though. It appears that I've failed in my attempt to have it cancelled this year, but I'll be trying twice as hard next year, don't you worry!

Hm, dg, can't you find a form for xmas that is somewhat enjoyable? Hang out with favourite friends or something.
Sometimes we're so fixated on how kerstmis should be that we don't see how it could be.

Here in the luxurious socialist netherlands we have 2 days of christmas. Which is great; you can spend f.i. the first day on family obligations and spend the second day on a, shall we say, elective basis. For instance teenagers often have xmas parties on the 2nd day. After the cozy but also slightly suffocating first day it's great to celebrate with friends in a different atmosphere.
I guess in the US, with the great geographical distances, it's not that easy to switch social context that quickly...

I had to look up how prevalent this 2nd day thing is. Apparently it's just Germany, Scandinavia, Poland and us.
And the UK has boxing day of course.

(I love grumpy cat)

We don't officially have two days of Christmas, jouke, but it sort of works out that way a lot of the time. People do have quiet days this week that aren't the formal holiday. Teens and college students have tons and tons of time off, so it's not really a problem for them. College students are often off for a month - or more - starting around Dec. 15.

In reality I just feel like, by the three or so days before Christmas, the social structure basically just falls apart. People are at work, but they are not "working" in a meaningful sense. THey are doing the basic essential functions. THey are leaving early and coming in late if they can. Vacation schedules begin and we work around them. No one really knows what's going on for a week. We have complicated "coverage" schedules to be sure that somebody's always in, but then we just want to forget about it all when it's not us.

I really envy the northern European countries that are just more honest that things really shut down for a couple weeks at the end of the year. We have these expectations that everything stays up and running, but in reality we don't actually do that, and the dichotomy between reality and statement is pretty big. If we all just said "fuck it" and let nonessential workers just have the time off, we'd all be better off. Instead we pretend we're all working...