So let me tell you how my day went yesterday. Finally, a diagnosis.→[More:]So exactly a year ago, my 8-year-old nephew visited. He had lice. I hugged him twice (he only came up to my chest), and I don't remember our heads touching.

But I started to feel itchy afterwards. So I high-tail it to the GP. She looks. Nope, I don't see any lice. She gives me some stuff for the itch. It doesn't work.

Then I started to feel more itchy, and more itchy. I keep looking in my head for bugs, can't find any. I go to a dermatologist (about 8 months ago).

Nope, I don't see any lice, she says. I don't even seen any dermatitis or dandruff. All I see is a few red spots where you scratched. You must have an allergy. She gives me some different stuff. It doesn't work.

She then tests me for 29 allergens (an annoying process that requires not showering and going in there 3 days in a week). No reactions are found. She gives me some different different stuff. It doesn't work.

She sends me to an allergy specialist, who briefly looks at my head and tests me for 100 allergens (same annoying process). They find a mild reaction to a metal commonly found in makeup, which I never wear. They lecture me for an hour about the metal, going on and on about all the companies that make non-allergenic makeup. They pat my head and send me on my way, satisfied that their cure will work.

Itching continues, plateaus where I'm scratching several times a day. Once in a while I look for bugs but not very often, because three doctors said it wasn't bugs, right?

I desperately start looking for other cures. My mom gives me some old stuff that worked for her skin rash. It doesn't work. Since I have other symptoms, I'm convinced it is caused by perimenopause.

I post an askme about it, get advice to try B vitamins and iron pills. I try them. They don't work. Get advice to see a neurologist; that's my next step.

Yesterday, as I'm getting ready to bite the bullet and make another appointment with the GP (who has also been fairly useless about other things in the past), a bug falls from my head. And then another.

I high-tail it to the lice clinic (bypassing the three doctors and their prescribed chemicals that don't always work). Holy shit, the woman says, you have a massive infestation that's been going on for months.

(And this, boys and girls, is why your health care system doesn't work. I pay a shitload for health insurance, which consists of three doctors who can't solve the problem. But I pay $200 out of pocket to a clinic which is much more current on research, and does solve the problem.)

There are some days when I feel like God/Whomever is gaslighting me.