I AM FINDING IT HARD TO FOLLOW THAT UP WITH ANYTHING BUT SYMPATHY DEAR DEBORAH

*gentle hugs and foot rubbing*

((deborah)) That's a lot to cope with and I think you don't need to feel bad for needing to shout and for needing a bit of care and attention yourself!

Nothing much to shout about here, either good or bad.

MY LAWYER IS ADVERTISING ME AS HER CLIENT. I NEED TWO NEW LAWYERS, MALPRACTICE AND SERIOUS CIVIL MONEY. AND THE DEFENDANTS WILL MAKE THEIR CHECKS OUT DIRECTLY TO RE-ELECT OBAMA, PLANNED PARENTHOOD, OR AMC.
MOTHERFUCKING INCOMPETENTS AND THIEVES NEED TO SUFFER.

Sorry to hear about that Deborah. hopefully its just a minor bump in the road back to healthy well being. If for some reason you ever do have to come into the city for cardiac care, make it St Paul's. It has one of the best Cardiac Departments in North America

*big hugs*

((((deborah)))), please make time for yourself! It's hard to be the sustained caregiver without completely running out of steam. I hope that you and your fella find some relief soon.

So sorry to hear that, Deborah. I can't imagine the stress this is causing you both.

*ahem* clears throat ready to shout

I'VE SPENT FIVE HOURS TRAVELLING TO AND FROM WORK TODAY BECAUSE THE CENTRAL LINE WAS SUSPENDED BECAUSE OF A FRICKING BURST WATER MAIN SO I HAD TO GET BUS AFTER BUS AFTER BUS TO GET HALFWAY TO WORK AND THEN I HAD TO GET A TRAIN, AND THE SAME ON THE WAY HOME BUT IN REVERSE AND WITH SO MANY PEOPLE PUSHING AT THE BUS STOP THAT THE POLICE HAD TO COME IN AND SUPERVISE AND I GOT MY ALREADY BRUISED FOOT TRAMPLED ON BY SOMEONE WHO SHOVED ME OUT OF THE WAY TO GET ON THE BUS BEFORE ME. AND IT RAINED THE WHOLE TIME AND I GOT SOAKED WAITING FOR ALL THE BUSES.

AND THEN AT WORK TODAY I WAS THE ONLY SENIOR PERSON IN AND SO EVERY TIME I TRIED TO DO SOME WORK PEOPLE KEPT INTERRRUPTING, ONCE WHEN I WAS ON THE PHONE AND ANOTHER TIME WHEN IT WAS OBVIOUS THAT I WAS WEARING HEADPHONES AND LISTENING TO SOME RECORDED TELEPHONE CALLS AND EVEN WHEN I HAD A CASE CLINIC THIS AFTERNOON WITH PEOPLE SCHEDULED IN AND SOMEONE WAS SITTING AT MY DESK WITH THEIR CASES THAT WE WERE DISCUSSING OTHER PEOPLE WOULD JUST BUTT IN WITH THEIR OWN CASES THAT THEY WANTED TO TALK TO ME ABOUT. ER ... EXCUSE ME? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M ALREADY TALKING WITH SOMEONE ELSE ABOUT THEIR WORK?

AND ALL THIS WHEN I KNEW THE JOURNEY HOME WOULD BE A FRIGGING NIGHTMARE BECAUSE IT HAD BEEN HORRENDOUS THIS MORNING.

AND I TRIED TO HUG LUCY WHEN I GOT HOME BECAUSE I REALLY NEEDED A HUG AND SHE WRIGGLED OUT OF MY ARMS AND GAVE ME THE "YOU ARE WORSE THAN HITLER" LOOK THAT SHE'S SO GOOD AT.

So sorry for fellow bunnies. Be sure to take care of yourselves. You deserve it.

I HAD SHIT TO YELL ABOUT TUESDAY BUT I GOT TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF MY MMA INSTRUCTOR AND HE DID THE SAME TO ME SO ALL I HAVE NOW IS SORE MUSCLES BUT GOD IT FELT GOOD

I NEED SOMEONE TO TAKE CARE OF ME

YEAH YOU DO!

AND I FEEL SO FUCKING GUILTY FOR FEELING THAT WAY!!

WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THAT GUILTY FEELING!

Really: it's hard being the caregiver, and it's totally reasonable and necessary that you need care, too. (And totally understandable that you're feeling pangs of irrational guilt over that need.)

I applaud you for staying home last night. You're listening to your own needs, which is really, really important --- for both of you.

I'VE NEVER STARTED ONE OF THESE BEFORE AND IT REALLY DOES HELP A LITTLE BIT!!

YEAH IT DOES!

(((DEBORAH))))

BOO: I'M LOOKING FOR THE 3RD CPA IN A YEAR B/C THEY ARE ALL FLAKE-O-MATICS!

YAY: WE HAVE A SUNFLOWER!

HUGS FOR DEBORAH!

I HAVE NOTHING TO DO TODAY AND I'M REALLY BORED! WISH I WAS HOME SPLAYED OUT ON THE COUCH!

GODFUCKINGDAMNIT SOMEONE APPARENTLY STOLE MY CREDIT CARD NUMBER AND RAN UP SOME GROCERY STORE CHARGES AND LIQUOR STORE CHARGES AT SOME TOWN IN NY THAT I'VE NEVER HEARD OF BUT AT LEAST MY CC COMPANY BLOCKED THE CARD SO I'M NOT ON THE HOOK FOR THOSE BUT STILL ARGH. THEY ALSO ARE CANCELLING THAT NUMBER AND SO NOW I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THEY SEND ME A NEW CARD WHICH IS SOME BULLSHIT BECAUSE THAT IS THE ONLY DAMN CARD I HAVE. I DON'T WANT TO USE MY DEBIT CARD BECAUSE I NEVER HAVE MONEY IN MY CHECKING ACCOUNT THAT ISN'T ALREADY SPOKEN FOR.

AND I JUST GOT BACK FROM HAVING A CAVITY FILLED. BOOOOOOOOOO.

OMG, Deborah. ((((((Deborah))))))

And ((((((The Mister)))))

Take care of yourself and don't let that self critical voice say a word.

Not so much a shout, but an amusing WTF... So today was a Teacher Development day, and my school sent most of us to one workshop or another, and mine was Literature and, wait for it (*giggles*), Shadow Puppets. Now, I know that doesn't sound so bad, and it wasn't really, except that the teachers from our high school, yes, HIGH SCHOOL, were in with mostly, I kid you not, pre-k, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade (*giggles*) teachers, all very nice people, but... So I made a shadow box of elements from The Little Prince -- the rose under a dome, a volcano (with smoke), a baobab tree, the "hat," and a flock of birds tethered to the Little Prince like balloons. It wasn't what we were supposed to work on, but I was so bored listening to the wild-haired woman drone on and on about her boxes of scraps (can we say, hoarder?). Came out rather cute, I think, too. Only problem, no one seemed to know what The Little Prince was, including the other English teachers from my school. Ah, well. Your tax dollars at work folks. (Won't people please stop wasting my time with unnecessary "workshops" and testing and just let me do my job?)

Plus, I've had the cold from HELL all week but had to go to work to give my students their final. I got coughing fits so bad the kids were ready to call 911. Mercy, mercy me. Such misery. I think I may have whooping cough. I cough so bad all the muscles in my neck and back and sides start to burn. Anyway...

(hope the hubby's feeling better, deb)

(big hugs, senyar -- don't yell at me, pretty please, but how come you didn't just drive, she wonders...)

THANKS EVERYONE! READING YOUR GOOD THOUGHTS AND HUGS REALLY HELPS! I ALSO GOT SOME SLEEP AND THAT HELPED TOO!!

AND I'M SO STOOOOOOKED!! THE FIRST SEASON OF GAME OF THRONES WAS READY AT THE LIBRARY AND THE MISTER PICKED IT UP FOR MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! (I'm just a wee bit into book three - such a good series!)

SENYAR - ALL CATS ARE EXPERT IN MAKING YOU LOOK LIKE HITLER!! (And your comment gave me a giggle.)

I WALKED OUT ON THE BF YESTERDAY AND SPENT THE NIGHT IN A HOTEL. CONSEQUENTLY, I COULDN'T REFILL MY VICODIN PRESCRIPTION FROM MY HORRID ACCIDENT THAT HAPPENED DURING MY HORRIBLE TRIP TO MISSOURI TO VISIT HIS STRESSFUL FAMILY. TURNS OUT I AM NOT EVEN CLOSE TO ALL BETTER AND REALLY NEED THE VICODIN. WHICH IS AT HOME, BECAUSE THE BF CLEVERLY PICKED UP MY PRESCRIPTIONS FOR ME TODAY TO BE NICE. SO I CAN'T CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT GOING HOME BECAUSE I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN THAT I THINK I MAY THROW UP OR PASS OUT. THIS IS ALL STARTING TO REMIND ME OF WHEN MY MARRIAGE FELL APART AND IT SUCKS A LOT. AND HE'S INVITED HIS PARENTS TO COME VISIT FOR JULY 4TH.

REMEMBER TO KEEP BREATHING. JUST BECAUSE YOUR HEART RATE GOES UP DOESN'T MEAN YOUR ARE GOING TO DIE, JUST WAIT 5 - 20 MINUTES.

(big hugs, senyar -- don't yell at me, pretty please, but how come you didn't just drive, she wonders...)

Several reasons.

- the cost of fuel would be far in excess of my daily fare (for a normal journey with no glitches) - petrol is about £1.35 a litre, which works out at about $8 per US gallon. My usual fare is £2.80 per day.

- when I'm on the DLR we go over this bridge where the road I'd be on if I was driving runs, and the traffic is always nose-to-tail, even at 6.30am.

- there's only one route I could take into the office and if the road's busy or blocked, I'd be stuck in traffic with no alternative route. The A12 is like an urban motorway, so there's nowhere to turn off apart from the few exits and you can't do a U-turn if the traffic's backed up.

- most importantly, there's nowhere to park at the office, and no street parking within several miles. For an office of 3,000 people we have about 100 parking spaces, all of which have been in the same 'ownership' for the 12 years I've worked there. There are many, many people on the waiting list and the wait for a space is, at the moment, seven years.

Wow, that certainly is detailed... so, basically, traffic, cost, and parking. Gotcha.

Still, five hours on public transportation, and in the rain. And I thought NYC was bad.