MetaChat - The Worst Songs of All Time

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06 May 2012

The Worst Songs of All Time ??? As selected by the blogger who is also →[More:]an accomplished sitcom writer (credits include M*A*S*H and Cheers. 'Nuff said), baseball announcer (currently part-time play-by-play for the Seattle Mariners), but more importantly a former squeeky-voiced disc jockey who used the on-air name Beaver Cleaver (at stations that wouldn't hire a Wendell Wittler; is that fair?). So he should know, right? Any you'd like to add to (or subtract from) the list?

post by: oneswellfoop at: 23:16 | 17 comments

I only have 'MacArthur Park' to add; I'm a little surprised it wasn't on the list. I remember the Smothers Brothers had a devastating take on 'Honey': "Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, and welcome the the Honey House...."

posted by Kronos_to_Earth 07 May | 00:36

uh, welcome to the...

posted by Kronos_to_Earth 07 May | 00:37

Kajagoogoo's Too Shy

posted by brujita 07 May | 01:02

My brother and I drove our grandmother absolutely bats with this one. It was most likely my aunt's record that we found and just plain played over and over. The Andrews Sisters had the original hit with it, but this one is particularly obnoxious.

Some of those songs on the list, like "Chevy Van", are must average meh, not the worst.

posted by Ardiril 07 May | 01:22

^just

posted by Ardiril 07 May | 01:24

Here is one from 1960 that, if you're lucky, you've never heard: "You Talk Too Much" by Joe Jones

posted by oneswellfoop 07 May | 01:27

Well I happen to love "My Boy Lollipop" :-P And, as the list is US-centric I must add that "Billy, Don't Be A Hero" was a hit in the UK for Paper Lace (who were talent show winners and much admired by me and my friends at school in 1973).

No mention of Shaddup You Face or Save Your Love (it's purely a coincidence that these are both Italian-ish songs).

Also, this has to be one of the skeeviest songs ever, but to appreciate the full horror, you must listen to the very last line of the song, or you'll miss the "ugh!" moment. It was a massive fucking hit.

posted by Senyar 07 May | 03:06

Yes, the version of "Billy Don't Be a Hero" was a cover of Paper Lace's song by an American band who did suck out what little charm the song did have. But Paper Lace's American hit "The Night Chicago Died" was also solidly cringeworthy, especially being a British songwriter's odd interpretation of Chicago's gangster wars.

posted by oneswellfoop 07 May | 03:14

I know "You Talk Too Much" -- I think it was on one of my mom's timelife cd collections :o)

I like a number of those on the list (e.g., Karma Chameleon, I'm Henry the Eighth) -- they are just too fun to sing.

However he did miss Lou Christie's "Lightnin' Strikes". The words "Listen to me, baby, it's hard to settle down, Am I asking too much for you to stick around" make me want to stab him.

posted by bluesapphires 07 May | 07:02

We Built This City by Jefferson Starship should be on that list.

posted by danf 07 May | 07:36

Some of those on the list are really not so bad, although I can see to a DJ that they'd get tedious. I actually like Good Morning Starshine. And how is 'Walk Like an Egyptian' really one of the worst songs ever?

posted by wens 07 May | 07:48

yeah, I dunno about this list. It seems more like a list of the songs that this guy can't stand.

There are some minor musical landmarks on the list. Not stuff I listen to a lot, but...

posted by richat 07 May | 08:06

I Put A Spell on You? That's an amazing piece of music! This fundraiser for Haiti version was incredible. Also, terrifying at times.

posted by richat 07 May | 08:08

Run Joey Run by David Geddes ought to be there (and throw in all sappy "teen tragedy" songs for good measure). Also Nineteen by Paul Hardcastle.

posted by initapplette 07 May | 09:48

I have 5 of these songs in my library/iPod.

And not all of these 5 are there for ironic reasons.

posted by danf 07 May | 09:52

However he did miss Lou Christie's "Lightnin' Strikes". The words "Listen to me, baby, it's hard to settle down, Am I asking too much for you to stick around" make me want to stab him.

I would fave that comment really hard, if we had such a thing here!

posted by danf 07 May | 09:53

Yeah, I have some of these in my collection. On purpose and everything. A lot of these are not really bad songs by the measure of when they were released, although they'd be unlikely to do well today. But I think I'd rather hear most of the songs on that list than most of the music being released today anyway.

posted by dg 07 May | 16:30

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