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13 January 2012

eagle eyed editing skillz so I was glancing at this random paper lying around in the morning, alright, the Hindustan Times from earlier in the week, and I saw they syndicated an NYT piece on the new windows phone[More:]

and I'm reading this paragraph that goes:

Even so, few consumers have been tempted, and sales have been lackluster. A big problem is that, initially, the handsets running Microsoft's software, made by companies such as HTC and Samsung, were unexceptional. Even wireless carriers have not been aggressively selling Windows phones in their stores. Most promote the iPhone and devices running Android operating system.


I was like, this doesn't sound NYTish; western-style speakers of english don't use "even" as a synonym for "as well", "also" etc.; they use it as an intensifier. Plus they dropped "the" in front of Android, which is sometimes done but somewhat unusual. So I put my sleuthing skills into gear and find that they indeed edited it; here's the original

Even so, relatively few consumers have been tempted, and sales have been lackluster. A big problem is that, initially, the handsets running Microsoft’s software, made by companies like HTC and Samsung, were unexceptional. Even more important, wireless carriers, the gatekeepers for nearly all mobile phones, have not been aggressively selling Windows phones in their stores. Most promote the iPhone and devices running Google’s Android operating system.


This is hard to articulate quickly to anyone in real life so I have to put it here cause I'm irrationally pleased by noticing the idiomatic tics.
And there is a meaningful difference between "Even more important," and just "Even". Bad Editor. No Cookie For You.
posted by oneswellfoop 13 January | 23:30
lol. they were trying to reduce the word count to fit though
posted by Firas 13 January | 23:44
Although I would say there's a use of "Even" which is not synonymous with "as well," , but means something closer to "and despite usual expectations," and it's possible to read the sentence that way too (I did at first).
posted by Miko 14 January | 11:52
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