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19 December 2011

ask MeCha - tips/ideas for small-ish solstice party? →[More:]

The mister (lapsed Jew) and I (recovering Catholic) are hosting a Winter Solstice/New Moon gig on Wednesday night, with about a dozen friends who are of a similarly agnostic / secular mindset.

I trolled AskMe for ideas but didn't really come up with anything. The interwebs have some decent traditional background, but most of the sites are a little woo-ritualistic and Uber Serious. We aren't really the sky-faerie type, tho there's nothing wrong with a little pagan symbolism. I'm thinking we've got some LED candles and a few strings of lights that I'll scatter about, we'll light a fire in the fireplace, and I think we have both holly and ivy growing in the yard somewhere, but... then what? We'd like to be somewhat silly, somewhat witty, generally fun, but not too earnest.

I played with the idea of dubbing our Crazy Friend GU (picture an umlaut on the U) the Lord of Misrule, in a nod to Saturnalia. But then what? I think we can get some strong ale / spiced cider, but what kind of non-fussy food would be a good bet? I'm going to bake some cutout cookies in appropriately random themes (because random is what we have for cookie cutters). Beyond that I'm kind of stumped.

So what kind of theme(s) would make a really great small Solstice gathering? Keeping in mind that stuff like open flames outdoors are highly frowned upon here in wildfire country, so maybe not so much with the sky candles or luminarias.

years and years ago my mom and I gathered some friends and burned a ginormous old tottering wreck of a boat for winter solstice, in a nod to some Norse myth or other. (not ours, our former landlord abandoned it when we bought out the lease.) It was appropriately... heroic? or at least hella impressive and quite a hit as a party theme.

post by: lonefrontranger at: 18:46 | 12 comments

Fire! I advised this on askme. Fire is a powerful symbol. Maybe i should just link to that but I could go on at length. Indoor, outdoors, controlled, whatever.

posted by ethylene 19 December | 18:53

Altars, booze, oh, man, could I go on.

posted by ethylene 19 December | 18:53

thanks, eth - good start; I kind of had a fire/light thing planned but we only have a woodstove, not a "real" fireplace, so maybe candles or sth.

I forgot to mention - one thing I'd been mulling about was the fact that the mister and several of our friends have had Big Endings (very close relative deaths, etc) this year, and without getting too maudlin, I'd maybe like to gracefully speak to that. Being that Solstice is a time of hope, rebirth, renewal, etc... how to go about honoring this?

posted by lonefrontranger 19 December | 19:04

Ok, to drunkenly go on at length without linksge: if you can't just start a talk conducive to sharing, have people write thing to share, either read or handed off to a person to read. You can burn them or save them but making it a ritual usually is helpful for people who need a framework. Tend candles, have an altar, take shots-- there are endless varieties of options depending on the specifics of the crowd.
Get specific and I will.
I like fire because it is a powerful symbol that is easy to manipulate, with color, sparklers, people can surround it wordlessly and offer thing to it, whether candle or stove.
I can babble at length. Just give me a direction.

posted by ethylene 19 December | 19:19

We actually have real candles on the tree. . .haven't burned the house down yet (in over 20 years). Each participant lights a candle on the tree and makes a wish for the new year.

To serious, probably, but our solstice is like that every year, and for the past few it has been at a friend's house, who also lights candles on her tree.

posted by danf 19 December | 20:06

I think clove-studded oranges are pretty lovely. And kind of sun-like. You could set out a bowl of cloves and a bowl of oranges and guests could make their own while chatting and drinking, if so inclined.

It may not be quite what you are looking for, as far as hope/renewal/rebirth go, but they smell nice. And it gives people something to do with their hands, which I personally find makes it easier to open up the conversational doors.

posted by fancyoats 19 December | 20:14

fancyoats - I like that! and we have a crate of oranges here the mister got from Costco, I just need some whole cloves.

eth, I like the idea of writing something down on a scrap of paper and burning it. dunno why I didn't think of it. Maybe like Coffin/Cradle? dunno.

I am up to my armpits in nutmeg maple butter cookies right now, tho. Can add more specificity when I'm not all sticky.

posted by lonefrontranger 19 December | 21:23

oh right - danf, I wouldn't mind that idea myself, but we don't have a tree.

posted by lonefrontranger 19 December | 21:28

Anything with a phoenix.

posted by brujita 19 December | 22:12

When I was a little kid and my hippie uncle would visit, we'd all get pieces of onionskin paper and we could write wishes and things we wanted to get rid of and put the pie4ces of paper in the fire. It was a nice thing to do together and kept with the fire theme. Solstice is still the only winter holiday that I really celebrate much.

posted by jessamyn 19 December | 23:00

I totally just made this up (though it obviously may exist in tradition elsewhere): Since Solstice is the celebration of light coming back, I might want to reflect on which dark or neglected areas of my life I'd like to bring light (i.e., attention) to. I guess it'd kind of be like New Year's resolutions, but without the "should" aspect; just an acknowledgment that I'd like to pay more conscious attention to X, Y, or Z.

posted by occhiblu 19 December | 23:21

You can make wassail! And while it's on the stove doing it's thing, you can have people go up to it and stir it while thinking of their wishes for the new year. Then after everyone's had a chance, let everyone drink some so that they're taking their wishes into themselves.

This may be on the woo side for you, but you can give little sprigs of holly to everyone to hang over their doors (and in theory, these sprigs will be burned next Yule).

In another holly vein, you can set up some hanging overhead and people can go stand under it and ask forgiveness of themselves for things that they've done that they are not happy about.

posted by sperose 20 December | 07:41

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