MetaChat - If anyone can help me with the frivolous naming of an object, it's you, MetaChat.

MetaChat is an informal place for MeFites to touch base and post, discuss and chatter about topics that may not belong on MetaFilter. Questions? Check the FAQ. Please note: This is important.

19 May 2011

If anyone can help me with the frivolous naming of an object, it's you, MetaChat. →[More:]

TheDonF and I recently purchased a used Concept2 rowing machine, and I think it would be good to name it.

("Hey, I'm going to spend some quality time with *blank*" "I totally got sweaty and panting with *blank* before you got home from work." "Have you been spending time with *blank*? Your abs look awesome.")

It's big, really big. Like, eight feet long. It makes a swooshing hissing noise when you get going. I don't know what else to tell you about it.

Any ideas, bunnies?

post by: Specklet at: 21:20 | 18 comments

Billy Squier? (apologies in advance for the earworm)

posted by ufez 19 May | 21:28

Ablert Masterson

posted by apoch 19 May | 21:39

This one requires deeper contemplation than just some off-the-cuff euphemism. Let me get back to you.

posted by Ardiril 19 May | 21:44

Eight feet long and hisses? Lieutenant Marion "Cobra" Cobretti. Or just "The Cobra".

posted by iconomy 19 May | 21:46

I am so jealous re: the erg. The Boyfriend and I are thinking of getting a Water Rower.

You should call yours something that feels natural to you, though. I have a hard time suggesting names for other people's faux-boats.

Maybe this song will help:

Duc duc navem duc
placide in rivo
laete laete laete laete
sicut in somnio

posted by brina 19 May | 21:49

Wilt "the Stilt". He got a lot of sweaty back and forth motion, ifyouknowwhatimean

posted by msali 19 May | 21:49

'That Bitch', if only because you will come to hate it and it's hart to hate something with a cutesy name. Works in all your *blank* sentences, too.

posted by dg 19 May | 21:51

Scully

posted by Hugh Janus 19 May | 21:59

I am sooooo jealous.

You should name her Darla. As in "Probably still bangin' away on Darla" from The Crow. Not that I have, or had, a particular affinity for that movie (17 years later! Good lord!), but my old boyfriend and I used to refer to his roommate and girlfriend that way. "Where's Steve?" "Probably still bangin' away on Darla."

Yes, it's thrillingly respectful.

posted by Madamina 19 May | 22:04

Aww, Hugh! I think you might win.

posted by Madamina 19 May | 22:04

Rocky.

That would probably work for me because it's kinda silly, it kinda says "tough taskmaster", and still makes me feel like it might actually be a good idea to work out.

posted by philipy 19 May | 22:06

When I saw "rowing machine" I first thought... Dirty Mike (ROWe) or Blackadder (ROWan Atkinson - and it hisses!) or the Laugh-In Machine (ROWan & Martin - an OLD reference)

otherwise...

The Pumper or PumperNickel

Pushme-Pullya (or Pumpme-Pullya)

Stan Lee's Steamer

Stroker Ace

but if forced to vote on someone else's idea, Hugh's got it...

posted by oneswellfoop 19 May | 22:43

I'd suggest Fishface, but it's not very frivolous.

posted by mullacc 19 May | 23:39

The row-bot.

posted by misteraitch 20 May | 03:31

My god, these are all fabulous. How can I decide?

WHUFFLES FOR EVERYONE in the meantime!

posted by Specklet 20 May | 11:22

The Titanic?

posted by Splunge 20 May | 14:04

Monsiour Muscles
or
Senor Strokes

posted by rmless2 20 May | 23:27

We've decided to go with Darla! I think her full name is Darla Row-bot.

Thanks, guys!

posted by Specklet 21 May | 13:11

← Little boy joins in with belly dancers || This is both beautiful and terrifying... →

HOME || REGISTER || LOGIN