MetaChat - A letter to the editor

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19 May 2011

A letter to the editor in the Erie, Pennsylvania newspaper titled "Rapture May Snarl Air Travel":→[More:]

Rapture Day is surely coming on Saturday. I heard it on the radio. So I'm really worried, not about making the cut and floating up to heaven. They wouldn't want me, I'm sure. Problem is my daughter is flying from Erie to Houston on Saturday. She wants a window seat so she can look out and see all the saved souls floating up to heaven.

If she is up in the air when all the hellfires and devastating worldwide earthquakes are happening I figure she won't be affected and maybe things will have calmed down by the time she lands. What really worries me is, what if one of those saved people blissfully levitating up to heaven get sucked into the jet engine intake?

It only took a goose to cause that plane to make an emergency landed on the Hudson River last year. A 300-pound preacher will surely cause much more damage.

I think the FAA should ground all aircraft on Saturday, but my daughter won't hear of it. She just wants to take her chances and try to get to Houston. Can anybody help me? We could all write to the FAA.

David Armor|Lawrence Park

post by: BoringPostcards at: 09:43 | 11 comments

That is HIL A REE OUS.

posted by Miko 19 May | 10:21

If I were him, I'd be more concerned that the pilot of the plane would be taken in the rapture, thereby causing the plane to crash, condemning the poor souls on the plane to an eternity of hellfire and damnation. Someone should clearly let the FAA know about that possibility. Terrifying.

I look forward to the rapture on Saturday. The sudden disappearance of all those god fearing Christians should clean out Fox network, perhaps pushing it off the air, with all those good people gone. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

posted by msali 19 May | 11:16

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by Splunge 19 May | 11:28

Saturday is my birthday. If the rapture doesn't occur, I will be most upset. I WAS PROMISED A RAPTURE! I WANT MY RAPTURE! MOMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

posted by WolfDaddy 19 May | 12:50

I'm planning to put some empty sets of clothes around town Saturday.

posted by theora55 19 May | 13:32

What time is this supposed to happen? I don't want to miss it.

posted by deborah 19 May | 15:18

The sudden disappearance of all those god fearing Christians should clean out Fox network,

I am certain that even if there were a legitimate rapture of legitimate god-fearing Christians, the operations of Fox News would continue, utterly unharmed.

I'm planning to put some empty sets of clothes around town Saturday.

This is BRILLIANT. There is still a day to make this a nationwide meme. To the Twitter!

Also, am I the only one that reads this letter as satire? It really seems like it is probably satire.

posted by Miko 19 May | 15:28

Miko: I absolutely read it as satire.

theora: be sure to include some yarmulkes and burkas for maximum effect.

posted by BoringPostcards 19 May | 15:48

This is my worried face:

≡ Click to see image ≡

Splunge:

≡ Click to see image ≡

I'm planning to put some empty sets of clothes around town Saturday.

OH MY GOD it's....it's beautiful!

posted by lysdexic 19 May | 15:50

If I were him, I'd be more concerned that the pilot of the plane would be taken in the rapture, thereby causing the plane to crash, condemning the poor souls on the plane to an eternity of hellfire and damnation. Someone should clearly let the FAA know about that possibility. Terrifying.

I actually thought about this as I was flying yesterday. I was trying to ignore the annoying banter of the folks behind me (during that horrid time before you can turn on your music player) and had a whole sketch-comedy fantasy scene rolling about being a pilot and before every flight Saturday coming over the PA system and announcing that the passengers have nothing to fear as your pilot is a staunch atheist and therefore the risk of poofing up to heaven and leaving the plane to crash in a field in Alabama was minimal, so please sit back and enjoy your flight.

posted by ufez 19 May | 19:13

I'm kind of bummed that I've used up this month's personal day. It would've been cool to call in leaving the message "Won't be in today. World ending."

posted by jonmc 20 May | 19:11

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