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13 April 2011

My father passed away today, at the age of 90-and-a-half. [More:]
I have a reputation for telling long, convoluted stories, but there's no way I can begin to explain the circumstances of his death which was caused by a combination of being hit by cars twice, two years apart, his stubborn defiance of doctors' orders because he thought he couldn't afford it, infection picked up inside the hospital, other pre-existing conditions that just got worse and maybe his realization that he could no longer maintain his independence (he was still living alone in an apartment in a non-seniors building) causing him to give up. The doctors told me he finally suffered a 'non-typical heart incident' - his heart simply slowed to a stop.

I'm in his apartment in Van Nuys, facing various unpleasant issues, a couple of which he had tried to prevent me having to deal with (but he apparently put his trust in some of the wrong people - not for the first time).

After some time estranged, we had reconnected earlier this year, and I spoke to him three times in the hospital, but didn't come down to see him until he had lost consciousness, never to awaken. Still, I feel I have achieved as much closure as the old crank would allow me.

Mixed emotions? Oh, yes. Part of me feels he is more at peace than he had been in life for a long time (my mother died 26 years ago and he never got over it). Part of me never got over his anger I grew up with (he was a real-life version of Mr. Foreman on "That 70s Show", just without the laugh track), but part of me is proud of the man who so easily quit smoking when I started to develop asthma and so easy quit drinking when he retired from a business that ran on three-martini lunches. Part of me still wonders about the things he always glossed over about his service in World War Two that I will never really know. Or the parents he was fully estranged from before I was even born. In 90 years, he lived a full life - I just don't know if it was all that much a good life. That saddens me as much as his loss, about which I actually feel more relief - as I said before, even believing as I do that death is simply the end, he is at peace.

All I ask of you bunnies is to post a lot of funny crazy stuff to help distract me, otherwise, I'm never going to get any sleep.
I was trying to use webcomics to distract me, but I got things like this:

≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by oneswellfoop 13 April | 02:44
Ach, foep, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you find comfort in the fact that you and your father had time to enjoy each others company. Sterkte!
I'm at work so you'll have to forgive me for not being able to channel the crazy funny.
posted by jouke 13 April | 02:50
Oh, I'm so sorry, oneswellfoop --- I'm sending good thoughts your way. I'm pretty doped up on Vicodin and prone to nonsensical babbling, so I'll shutup and send some links your way as requested.

I always end up laughing myself silly over Hyperbole and a Half. (Note: the most recent entry involves a childhood reminiscence about parents and fear. Just thought you'd like a heads-up in case that might be too hard today.)

Years late, I learned about the I'm an anteater meme, and laughed until I was weak.

For my money, you can never go wrong with One Froggy Evening. If you find yourself singing "Hello! Ma Baby," know that on another coast, I am singing it along with you.
posted by Elsa 13 April | 03:18
And take care of yourself.
posted by Elsa 13 April | 03:18
I'm sorry oneswellfoop.

The thing that makes me laugh hysterically is Damn You Auto Correct! May it bring you some distraction.

And, as Elsa says, take care of yourself.
posted by Senyar 13 April | 03:33
You caught me on the wrong end of the funny spectrum. Did you catch the Guitar Spinning Idiots?
posted by Ardiril 13 April | 04:01
foop, my condolences. I just went to Damn You Auto Correct! on Senyar's advice, and I am now hopelessly hysterical. Damn you Senyar!
posted by pjern 13 April | 05:06
Sorry to hear that. Sounds like you got some closure and he lived a long life and that's pretty much all we get to ask for. Take care.
posted by Firas 13 April | 05:32
I'm so sorry oneswellfoop. Thank you for sharing some of your father's story with us. My condolences.
posted by msali 13 April | 06:17
So sorry to hear this, oneswellfoop. I'm really glad you and your dad were able to reconnect before his death.

Here's something that had me laughing inappropriately loud, first thing at work this morning.
posted by BoringPostcards 13 April | 07:01
I got nothing but sorry.
posted by rainbaby 13 April | 07:46
Sorry for your loss :(

Time for some stories by Dave Secretary usually gets me going!
posted by By the Grace of God 13 April | 07:55
I'm so sorry for your loss.
posted by LoriFLA 13 April | 08:13
Sorry for your loss, oneswellfoop.

I never have funny stuff that everyone here hasn't discovered years before me :/
posted by gaspode 13 April | 08:17
So sorry for your loss, dear!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 13 April | 08:24
Sorry to hear that.

Don't have much crazy funny stuff. Russian Roulette with a nerf gun with a pin in the foam?
posted by TheophileEscargot 13 April | 08:35
So sorry oneswellfoop, sending good thoughts your way. I don't know if it will help you, but a few weeks ago during an extra crappy day this collection of David Lee Roth karate kicks made me smile. If that doesn't work, there's always the censored foul mouthed Scooby Doo.
posted by Slack-a-gogo 13 April | 08:37
Hungover Owls has yet to fail me.
*hugs*
posted by sperose 13 April | 09:42
This might amuse. . .

I am sorry for your loss, however wrought everything was with him.
posted by danf 13 April | 09:48
Sympathies, OSF, thinking of you. It is a rough ride no matter when it happens or how you cut it. As for funny, well, um. This is weird, anyway, will that do?
posted by mygothlaundry 13 April | 09:54
I don't have any funny right now, but I do have condolences. I'm sorry for your loss.
posted by wens 13 April | 10:13
I'm really sorry to hear that. I'm sending whuffles for sure.

I know I've posted this here before, but it really is worth re-posting: kitties and boobies. Cute and definitely cheering.
posted by Specklet 13 April | 11:26
I slept surprisingly better than expected; thank you all for your condolences and whuffles and auto-corrects and stuff (mgl, I have always had a soft spot for Laugh-In - did I ever tell how I almost worked for Gary Owens when he was disc jockeying?). At this moment, things are going more easily than expected (apparently the local office of the Neptune Society had gotten into some trouble a couple years ago but the home office took care of it). Now my only hassle looks like getting to Phoenix where he will be interned next to my mother (haven't flown since before 9/11 and the TSA Security Insanity).
posted by oneswellfoop 13 April | 12:06
I don't have anything funny to post but I would like to offer my condolences and a big hug:

(((((((((swell)))))))))

posted by Kangaroo 13 April | 12:47
My condolences, oneswellfoop.

For a daily dose of silliness: Jack Handy's Deep Thought of the Day.
posted by Atom Eyes 13 April | 12:55
I'm sorry. *hugs* Here are some of Vaughn Meader's JFK (and family) parodies---especially 5:30.
posted by brujita 13 April | 13:35
OSF. . .flying out of Phoenix, try to go through whatever terminal Alaska uses.

Those TSA people were very cool and having fun and made everyone feel good, going through.. I know, hard to believe, but this crew made it enjoyable to go through security.
posted by danf 13 April | 13:55
Condolences, foop. Remember that you have all the good things about him within your own self.
posted by fleacircus 13 April | 15:05
My condolences. Losing someone close to you is never easy. Be good to yourself.
posted by dg 13 April | 16:40
Nothing funny from me, I'm afraid. You've probably seen everything I have. But I am very sorry for your loss, foop. It's good you had some time together.
posted by deborah 13 April | 16:40
Sending you condolences and good thoughts, foop. Nothing funny because I'm on my phone except that the phone autocorrects foop to goo.
posted by Twiggy 13 April | 20:44
So sorry to hear. 90's a good long life, but it's never long enough.
posted by Pips 13 April | 21:12
I'm sorry, man. I'm thinking of you.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 13 April | 23:40
So very sorry.
posted by arse_hat 14 April | 02:06
Well, goo is a better autoreplace for foop than, well... flop, fool, oops or ffffuuuuuuu...

Things continue to go more smoothly than expected on a practical basis, but having just started to box up his belongings, I'm getting overwhelmed by a lifetime of memories, some pleasant, some not. I feel like after things settle down, I'm going to take the rest of the year off from having emotions...
posted by oneswellfoop 14 April | 06:50
Glad to hear you got some rest, osf. Thinking of you.
posted by Elsa 14 April | 08:47
Oh dear, life is so complicated. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry your Dad was so cranky and difficult. I'm glad you got some measure of resolution. It sounds like he was ready, and that's not such a bad thing. I have sent some hugs to you via the ether.
posted by theora55 14 April | 10:27
Oh, man, so sorry.

I can dump my laughing RSS folder:

Animals Behaving Badly

This is Indexed

Here's some pretty butterfiles

Balls of Light

More Light painting

And finally a yellow rose for a friend.
≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by lysdexic 14 April | 14:02
I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm glad that you were able to reconnect with him before he died.
posted by jason's_planet 14 April | 19:52
My condolences, OSF. I hope you have peace.
posted by redvixen 15 April | 11:25
So what were you doing 25 years ago? || Pop songs arranged for orchestra.

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