let me be the first to do the obvious joke: "THREESOME!!!"

In a hypothetical sense, I'd like to say I'd just think it was interesting or something. But when it did happen, I was stunned and disgusted. It sounds awful, but I couldn't help it.

Surprised, but only because we have specifically talked about it in the past and it was a negative. In general, I think this would be interesting and help me see another facet of the person, but wouldn't be dealbreaker-y in any way. Sexuality is a continuum, not a binary condition, people try stuff, etc.

That is all assuming that the relationship is good, the sex is good, and things are generally clicking.

Just saw yg44's response. I have been the person to make that admission, so I think that would make me disinclined to feel yucky about it. After all, I'm not yucky!

I'd be amused as hell, and incredulous, and curious. But I don't think it would bother me or change anything.

This actually happened to me. (Oh Christ, not another one of those Penthouse-letter things...)

Dude B was dating Dude C while I was dating Dude A. Dude A and I broke up (but it wasn't that long after the 'official' breakup so things were still touchy because we shared the same group of friends) and I hooked up with Dude B during a NYE party. (At the time, Dude B had lied by omission about still being attached with Dude C and I really hadn't taken the time to go ask anyone because hey, party, and omg boy showing positive attention to me is automatically a good thing.*)

Found out Dude's B and C were an item and thought I was going to get killed/my ass beat because Dude C is a scary motherfucker (based on looks alone, but he's actually super sweet). Ofuck.

After a few weeks of hiding (easy to do since I was at school the next state away) and a creepy videotape done by Dude C of me**, I finally apologized to Dude C and told him that I didn't know about his relationship with Dude B and that if I had known, I wouldn't have acted as I did. Dude C said all was good, and the three of us became friends, which was needful considering the fact that Dude C was the only one in the group who had a job (for a short while anyways) because Dude B was/is a fucking deadbeat (oh hindsight, how clear you are) and so Dude B basically freeloaded off Dude C. Never had a true threesome, but a few close encounters of the 'losing points on the purity scale' kind.

It didn't really bother me at the time until I realized that I should get my adult shit together and get a round of STD testing done and knowing Dude B's habits...yeah, I was worried. (Everything came back shiny though.)

* Yeah, that bites me in the ass a few months later. And it did with my relationship with Dude A. So I just don't date anymore. Problem solved!
** For some stupid ass reason, someone got it into their head that we should videotape these awesome parties we used to have (at a friend's townhouse where there was lots of underage drinking and drug use going on so now none of us can run for public office because NO ONE KNOWS WHERE THESE TAPES WOUND UP). Dude C videotaped me hiding in the corner of the staircase (which is where I'd go when the number of people in the party was approaching my maximum limit of handling) and I was drinking a Skyy Blue and Dude C called me an 'object of poetry' because he'd come across some of Dude B's poems that he'd written about me. (Since everyone kind of lived at this townhouse during that year or so of damn near CONSTANT partying, it was common to find people's personal effects everywhere.)

Speaking as a non-stereotypical straight guy, it really depends on their attitude towards it. The bi-girl/lesbian aspect of life, which I'm totally cool with, doesn't do much of anything for me, for whatever reason. But dating """"liberal"""" women in a conservative part of the US has led to some interesting aspects of this.

Meaning: if it were a true expression of sexuality/experimentation, I'm totally fine with it, but I'm not terribly interested in the details. Same as if I don't need to know the nitty-gritty of anyone's sexual history, so long as they're tested and safe. But I've encountered more than a handful of the "woo-hoo I'm bi aren't I so totally awesome?! No really! I've eaten pussy! LOL!" girls and that bugs the shit out of me in the same way that anyone (male/female/gay/straight/whatever) that is far too open with their sex-life does.

TL:DR; it's entirely individual. Neither "Woo-Hoo!" or "GTFO".

Intrigued.

The mister is bisexual and has had previous relationships with men and women. We had discussed it very early on and I was curious, but he didn't want to go into too much detail and I respected that. I am okay with his past being past, and I'm okay with both genders catching his eye in harmless ways. But I made it very clear from the start that we were to be monogamous; I would be just as angry if he slept with a man while we were together than if he slept with a woman.

I would be surprised, because in relating his past the mister has not mentioned having a relationship with a guy and the mister is not the type to lie (by omission or otherwise).

Now I'll have to go ask him. Result: No, he hasn't had a sexual relationship with a guy.

No problem.

Specific to my my current partner: I'd be surprised, only because he seems to be solidly over on the "heterosexual" end of the spectrum. But assuming that it was as solidly in the past as his other previous relationships, it would just be one more fact in his romantic history.

But in general, it would be in pretty unremarkable to me. My first partner's previous (and, as it turned out, ongoing) sexual encounters were with both men and women, so that was just one more component to fit into a relationship.

(In that youthful case, I suffered more needless angst and jealousy over the women than the men; lots of the men were my friends, too; it was harder for me to be friendly with his girlfriends, because I felt so stupidly competitive with them. What a mess we were in those days!)

I knew from the beginning my partner had dated women in the past, and in fact almost got married at one point. It didn't faze me at all, though you might be surprised how many gay guys have a problem with the idea of bisexuality. Me, I think that'd be the norm if we all had a choice.

I'd want to hear all about it. The fun parts, anyway. Happy memories of past relationships don't need to be hidden or forgotten. They make good fuel for more happy memories in current relationships. Sort of a joint account at the spank bank, so to speak.

I agree with Elsa's "In general, unremarkable," except that in the complications and messiness of real life, it's actually kind of important to decide whether there's unfinished business or sublimation going on your present relationship.

I was in one past relationship with a guy who was trying to convince himself he was straight, though he really was not, and that made things miserable in a lot of messy ways for a bunch of people, including me. It's not really the fact of who someone's been with in the past, but how well in touch they are with their best, most honest conception of who they are now, and who they want to be with now and why, that matters.

I would be like, "Oh, so you're pretty much like everyone else I've ever had a relationship with."

I can't imagine this even being an issue.

Much like Elsa, in general it wouldn't bother me, but I would be *very* surprised if my husband revealed that he'd been in a same-sex relationship. Both that he hadn't told me until now, and because he is pretty damned heterosexual as far as I can tell.

I've had male partners who have dated/slept with men before, and it wasn't a thing.

I would be kind of surprised, but it wouldn't be a big deal. I would definitely want to know more details.

Long ago, I dated a guy (we'll call him Scotty) who, before he introduced me to his best friend Mike and the friend's fiancee, admitted that he had once sucked Mike off. Oh, and the fiancee was my guy's ex, too.

So after that delightful lead-up, I finally met the couple. We were all sitting in the couple's living room when Mike said, "I see that shit-eating grin, Scotty. It's because you know you've done everybody in this room, isn't it?"

No, that wasn't creepy at all. Why do you ask?

An ex is an ex.

I would be incredibly surprised and intrigued. Surprised, because we've been together so long, and I suspect I would have heard about THAT by now. Interestingly, when I first met the man who was to become my husband eventually, both my best friend and I had absolutely no doubt that he was gay. He isn't.
I am pretty sure that my response to any admission to a same sex encounter by my husband would be met by gleeful clapping, and an insistence on my part to share ALL the details. Hell, he always wants to hear about all of mine!

I'd just be concerned about being a person who had "lovers."

I'd think it was hot and ask her if she had any photos.

Go privilege!

(I have a vague and probably false impression that with switchers, women tend to try out lesbianism in their youth but end up straight, while men pretend to be straight in their youth but eventually admit that they're gay. If that was true, a straight man would have less to worry about than a straight woman in this situation).

In my 20s, it would have bothered me. In my 40s, I'd consider myself lucky to even be in that situation.

The last relationship I was in the guy was bi. He was upfront about it and I honestly didn't think it would bother me, but it did; it skeeved me out a bit and then in a meta way I had to look at myself and be all, like, why are you skeeved, woman? In the long analysis I think it had more to do with the fact that he had also said he was poly, and I had said, uh, I am NOT, whereupon he had agreed to shelve the poly thing but I never quite believed him than the bi thing. Or maybe it's just that he was actually pretty creepy in other ways and also had never heard of Werner Herzog which turned out to be a huge dealbreaker (that surprised me even more.) So I don't know, really, because he's the only person I've ever been with who had ever had or at least admitted to a same sex relationship in the past. Should the whole thing come up again in the future though - although I am pretty sure and pretty much resigned to my love/sex life being really over for good now - I wouldn't much care as long as a) it was firmly in the past along with all exes of whichever gender and b) this hypothetical guy had many other good qualities such as having heard of Werner Herzog.

(shrug)

My ex played both sides in his early 20s, and it never particularly struck me one way or the other. It just fit in with what I already knew about him.

and also had never heard of Werner Herzog which turned out to be a huge dealbreaker (that surprised me even more.)

This is my favorite thing I've read all week.

Totally happened!

I didn't really care.

Lover meaning ltr or meaning one to a few encounters with other men? I think I'd be ok with it.

I wouldn't care if the guy I considered a sexual friend ( I don't like the term friends with benefits; to me that implies that sex is the major thing in the friendship. Fuck buddy implies that it's JUST sex) slept with other people. The man with whom I would want to spend the rest of my life I would expect to be monogamous.

Happened. Over it.

I missed saying how I'd feel about it. It wouldn't bother me at all. I'm sure I'd pester him for all the details.

Wow. Reading everyone's responses, I feel like the a-hole here. Sorry. I hope my response wasn't too off-putting.

I don't think you're an asshole, youngergirl.

No, neither do I. The question was asked, and you feel what you feel.

You're fine, youngergirl44. The Friday Night Question wouldn't be interesting if everybody had the same response.

I love the Friday night question!

Also, sperose! Woah!

Also, I think this is a different question for a gay person than a straight person - at least for people over a certain age - because having had a history of heterosexual relations would be the norm for gay people and not vice versa (or at least it's not the acknowledged norm for straight people, however common it might actually be.)

I've been there. Not a big deal. Like anything else someone's done, if there are good stories, I'd like to hear them. Otherwise, it's no more interesting than anything else.

You're fine, youngergirl44. The Friday Night Question wouldn't be interesting if everybody had the same response.

Bam, this is exactly right. The FNQ is most interesting when we answer honestly and when we have differing answers! And we all has kneejerk dealbreakers, which don't always align with our social or political ideals.

Wouldn't bother me at all. In fact, if someone was curious about their attraction to others of the same sex, I'd be more comfortable in the knowledge that they had been there, tried it and were happy to stick with a heterosexual relationship rather than knowing they were attracted to others of the same sex, but were still in a position of wondering what the actuality of that might be like.

I'm not really interested in knowing details of my partner's previous sex life, regardless of the nature.

let me be the first to do the obvious joke: "THREESOME!!!"
Heh, my first response, generated from the depths of my lizard brain, was that previous same-sex curiosity and experimentation would have to increase that possibility ;-)