Ask Mecha: so, what exactly do you DO with a weird crush, anyway?→[More:]This isn't about my friend at work but rather another friend of mine.

He's married; I've known him for ages. We're both attracted to each other in a sort of "oh, if we were only different people we'd so do each other" sort of way. We have dinner once every couple of months and send each other a lot of making-the-rounds internet jokes.

I so don't understand it. Every time he calls, my heart pounds in my chest like a motherfucking bass drum and I immediately rearrange my schedule to accommodate his. I get so happy when we're together. I think he sees me as a welcome relief from his busy family life--we flirt and talk a lot, but it's never gone beyond that.

And the thing is, I don't want it to. Even if he weren't married he would make me insane if I saw him more than I did, between the religion that's important to him and his non-existent attention span. He's a poster child for ADD; I'd kill him on the third day. And he'd probably be very uncomfortable with my lack of religion.

So, why do I feel this way, and what should I do about it? Cut him off? What would that accomplish? That heart pounding drum thing is nice, and I would hate to lose it. He's a great friend, anyway. (And he fixes my computer.) How do I deal with something like this? It feels like a tennis ball that I keep throwing against the wall; it comes back, and I throw it again. My arm is getting sore, but I'm going to throw it just one more time...

Yeah, yeah, I know, find someone else who fills that need. Working on that. But in the meantime?