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19 January 2011

Out of the nest [More:] I have wonderful, dreadful mixed feelings.

My son, the one I've written about previously who dropped out of college and hasn't been able to successfully go back to school or hold a job since, is leaving home.

My wife's sister has lined up a job for him where she works. It's basically entry-level healthcare. This is a kind of work he has never thought of before, although he found out about the possibility of this job before Christmas. Her company deals with senior citizens, traumatic brain injury victims, etc., and she says they have trouble getting enough workers.

She called this week and said there is training he will need that starts on Monday. This kind of came up suddenly. So this weekend he and I are driving from Fort Worth to Albany, NY, and he will move in his aunt until he can get on his feet.

I will get home from a current business trip to Washington, DC, to Fort Worth tomorrow in the evening, and the following morning we will set out for points north.

He will have very little: Some modest savings, a job, a place to stay for a while, a 1995 Escort, and supportive members of his extended family (aunt, uncles, grandparents, cousins).

I'm afraid to get my hopes up too much. He just seems so unmotivated. But... he is a guy that doesn't like little kids too much, with the exceptions being his cousins that he will be living with, at least temporarily. Around them he lights up and becomes like an indulgent "big brother."

So we're hoping this will be the positive change he needs to set a new direction for his life.

It's time for him to leave the nest, and time for us to cut the cord. It's gonna be tough.
Fingers crossed!
posted by Madamina 19 January | 23:40
good luck to him and have a safe drive!
posted by rmless2 19 January | 23:47
I grew up in the suburbs of Albany, NY. It's not a bad place to live, and although my younger self couldn't wait to leave, in middle age I'm coming to see the upsides. The cost of living is reasonable, and the city itself has some great old neighborhoods, some of which are nicely bikeable. There are also a fair number of colleges & universities in the area, with student populations to nearby.

Albany is nice in that there is lots of fun stuff to do within two hours' drive in any direction - Berkshires & Boston to the east, Cooperstown to the west, Adirondacks to the north, and Hudson River valley / NYC to the south.

Best wishes for his success, and drive safely.
posted by Triode 20 January | 01:36
Break a leg! Wait... no, not that. Congratulations?

Seriously, I'll never have to go through pushing launching a kid out of the next and can only imagine how difficult it must be.

Good luck!

PS: Road trip! How cool is that?!
posted by deborah 20 January | 01:49
"It's gonna be tough."

It's so hard to let go. I have my fingers crossed.
posted by arse_hat 20 January | 01:54
this weekend he and I are driving from Fort Worth to Albany, NY

A long time to impress upon him what happens if he screws this up. This position, though, would be a great first item on a future resume. Good luck to everyone involved.
posted by Ardiril 20 January | 01:57
Thanks for the encouragement and advice, all. I knew I could count on you :)
posted by Doohickie 20 January | 07:23
I hope things go well!
posted by sperose 20 January | 10:46
Good luck, Minihickie!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 20 January | 14:27
Heh.... he's three inches taller than me, and I'm 6-2. Not sure that monicker applies, Kate. :)

I'll be driving up with him and flying back. Too bad I won't be driving back... I'm sure I could have worked a few route changes in to visit some bunnies.
posted by Doohickie 20 January | 14:49
Interesting to hear someone else going thru this. I just had the same kind of talk with my oldest who has had a difficult time coming to grips with adulthood.
I suggested as nicely as possible that she was causing most of her own problems and the quickest cure was to take responsibility for herself, i.e. grow up. Paying your own way really crystallizes what is essential.

We shall see.

Good luck to all Doohickies.
posted by readery 20 January | 22:25
and good luck to you, readery. Tough stuff, this parenting.
posted by Doohickie 21 January | 01:17
For when you need a REALLY big amp... || 3-point midweek update