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16 December 2010

Help! Someone I was talked into making a turducken for Christmas dinner. Does anyone have any wise words for me? (Like maybe "Run away now!"?)[More:]It seemed like a good idea at the time but the booze has worn off and I'm looking down the barrel of a meat behemoth. I mean, I cook a LOT but I don't think I've cooked anything that BIG.

I'm scared. Please hold me.
Oh honey, there are so many recipes online. I would search ask.meta first. Just a search for turducken will likely give you some ideas. I have no clue. Best wishes and happy holidays.
posted by lilywing13 16 December | 03:06
I have never cooked one, nor will I ever, but I would look for a recipe that uses an oven temperature between 250 and 300. A long, slow roast would be your friend, that and a good meat thermometer. Also, you might call a local meat market and see if they can prepare one for you ready to cook.
posted by Ardiril 16 December | 03:54
My answer is the same as Ardirils.
posted by gomichild 16 December | 06:13
I gotta say that for all the reasons to volunteer to cook a turducken, "I was drunk" is definitely the most honorable.
posted by Ardiril 16 December | 07:47
Well said, Ardiril.
posted by rainbaby 16 December | 09:55
This, apparently, is legit.
posted by danf 16 December | 12:01
Speaking as someone from the land where the turducken (and many other edible experiments) was born, let me say this: don't. As in: don't waste your time. It was a funny experiment, but they don't taste very good. The duck makes the other meat too oily, if the turkey is fully cooked, the chicken is overdone. All three birds cooked separately would be much tastier than this meat monstrosity. Seriously. You are in for a sub-par experience.

Also: enough with the deep fried turkeys.
posted by ColdChef 16 December | 17:03
Hehe. Thanks, Ardiril. Perhaps I should cook it drunk. Sorta finishing things how I started.

Coldchef: yeah, that's pretty much what my sober self said when reviewing the various recipes. However, as the various bits are currently defrosting in the fridge, it's too late to back out now, so I'm just going to wing it and see how I go.

I'm going make it into a roulade which should make cooking quicker and easier, and I'm going to braise it slowly in cider to keep things moist, with a bit of browning right at the end. Fruit and rice stuffing, plenty of herbs, and the cider gravy should make up for any deficiencies.

Deep fried turkeys? The mind boggles.
posted by ninazer0 16 December | 22:06
Hee. "wing it".
posted by gaspode 16 December | 22:29
And if it doesn't work you can "leg it".
posted by gomichild 16 December | 23:15
Where I wound up going on Thanksgiving had deep-fried turkey. Only the white meat was left, but it tasted ok.
posted by brujita 17 December | 00:37
1. Frank Caliendo does John Madden making a turducken.

2. From the 'see also' section of the turducken wiki page: Whole Stuffed Camel

3. This article says it takes 12 to 16 hours to debone and stuff the birds. Oy.
posted by youngergirl44 17 December | 02:07
I don't know how many folks you're cooking for, but with my smallish family (6 or so) we make a couple roulades out of breasts only. Each one is only about the size of a...fire log? It's much more manageable and there's no deboning. We just roll it up, wrap it in bacon and bake it slowly until it's a sanitary temperature.

At least you don't have to include a leopard.
posted by mrsshotglass 17 December | 16:35
I've got about 14 adults and 5 kids (mostly under 6) to cater for, but I went for a small to medium turkey and I'm bbq-ing a loin of pork (crackling!!) for those that don't want to try the mega-meat-death. Last year I boned the turkey, stuffed it with pork mince with apricots and pistachios and baked it slowly and it turned out well, so I'm gonna try and keep within that size/weight/time.

My game butcher sells camel meat (one hump or two?) but having seen this, I'm not really tempted.
posted by ninazer0 17 December | 17:30
Perfectly safe. || "F**k off, Harrod's"

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