Sometimes we all take our loved ones for granted. I think you're really telling us to be aware that we not take the love for granted, and I promise not to do that, for today anyway. Thank you for the reminder, sweetie. (((serena)))

"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

I don't know what my last words to my father were. He died suddenly 2 days after our last conversation, and I had no idea that it would be our last conversation. We probably talked about the weather. Although I don't remember, specifically, what my last words to him were, I'm about 95% sure they were "I love you," as were his to me, because that's how we always ended conversations.

We meant it, too. I always believed that my father loved me, and all the attendant priveleges and responsibilites that went along with that. And I believe my daughter believes that I love her. I say it, I show it--she, who'll be 15 Thursday, still (occasionally) holds my hand in public, hugs me in front of her friends.

I love my parents and I know they love me. They aren't perfect and neither am I. Far from it. We all made mistakes in life. But even when I think about those mistakes, I can't muster up a lot of bitterness or self-loathing even as I recognize them. Time is too short...I firmly believe we are almost always doing the best we can with what we have where we are. Also, demonstrativeness can change. My dad was fairly staid until he had a very serious illness many years ago and almost lost his life. Since that time he has been much more overtly loving to all of our family. My mother was almost lost when I was a teenager, as well. Perhaps because of those experiences, I am pretty much just happy to have them around, even when we all drive one another nuts every so often.

I don't think demonstrating love has to be this epic, significant event primed by serious personal inquiry or crisis. Sometimes love is in the details, the little things you do for each other, the small bits of affection and expression like mrmoonpie's story about that last, nonchalant 'I love you.' If you don't practice that regularly I recommend it. The other day my fortune from a piece of Bazooka Joe gum was 'Parents are like plants, they need water, light, and talking to in order to thrive.'

It sounds as though you'd like to say it and show it in your own family. I say, go for it. I married into an undemonstrative family, but I love them dearly and started hugging them on arrival and departure years ago. They were all a little stiff and surprised initially. Now they all do it.

It is fine to just tell family members you love them or touch their arm or give them a little hug, or send a card . . . start small, you would be surprised how responsive people can be.

You can still love someone yet want to strangle them. I came from a demonstrative family - lots of huge and kisses and plate throwing.

During my parents' divorce, my father and I had several heart-to-heart conversations. These conversations helped to make each of us realize that, yeah, we love each other and we always have - but the expression of the love was misunderstood.

Since then, we're both more open about hugging and saying "I love you" when saying goodbye. Taking this step with my father has also helped me to do the same with my sister too.

Some may say that using the phrase "I love you" too often makes it lose meaning. I think that if you constantly back it up with other various expressions of your love, the phrase will never lose its meaning.

Although I don't remember, specifically, what my last words to him were, I'm about 95% sure they were "I love you," as were his to me, because that's how we always ended conversations.

This is my hope for all my loved ones.

Sometimes my dad calls me by my younger nephew's name, or my older brother by my older nephew's name, or he'll call the kids by our names (he never calls me by the older nephew's name, or my brother, the younger's). Then I know he loves us all.

The last thing I said to my mom was "I love you, mom. Goodbye." She said, "Oh, you know I love you too, Sam; Goodbye," and even though that was routine at the end of our phonecalls, it wasn't rote, you know? We really meant it. Neither of us imagined it would be our last conversation.

I'd stop a bullet for my brother, for the sake of my nephews; they deserve a dad like him. He's the best friend I'll ever have.

Nothing fake about it.

The last thing I said to my mom was "I love you, mom. Goodbye." She said, "Oh, you know I love you too, Sam; Goodbye," and even though that was routine at the end of our phonecalls, it wasn't rote, you know? We really meant it. Neither of us imagined it would be our last conversation.

Apart from the "Sam" part these were the last words I exchanged with my Mum too. We also had no idea those would be the last we would exchange - as even though I dashed back to Australia as fast as I could she was in a coma/brain dead when I got there.

I even tell my friends I love them at the end of phone conversations - seems odd not to now.

This is a blog post about how my Dad and I even though we fought about everything would always tell each other we loved one another - we fought so much probably because we cared too much. My last words to him were "I love you Dad" too.

I'm a very tactile person, and Ro and I have always been quite affectionate with each other.
She's 16 now, so we don't snuggle up on the couch like we used to up until a few years ago, but we hug each several times a week or pat each other on the head or tickle or poke each other teasingly most days.
We say "I love you" most days too, when one of is leaving the house for the day, or even to end phone calls. "Mummy! Buy milk! I love you!"
We're a bit lacking in the relatives department, so I think I've made extra effort to try to make her feel secure and loved.
I tell my friends I love them and I use lots of terms of endearment. It's just feels natural.
I don't think a lack of demonstration means a lack of feeling. Some people just don't express themselves as easily as others.

Also: Hugh & Gomi, both of you poopyheads made me shed a few tears. I love you both!

I keep thinking about this post. Serena, you touched me with you said, I feel a sense of loss in your words. I too see families, and feel a wistful longing at how lucky they are to have each other. It's not the lack of love, it' a lack of family that I feel. It's so terribly unfair that these people are enjoying parents, grandparents, siblings, etc. and have a life long support network that I've never known.
It pains me when people I know are in conflict with family members, usually over something I think is pretty trivial in the scheme of things, and seem to take their relatives for granted.
I think it's sad when people love each other, as I'm sure your family love you, but have difficulty expressing that. I don't know about fake - maybe awkward? All human interaction takes practice, it can be hard to learn new methods of communicating, but should be encouraged.
I've been known to recommend The 5 Love Languages
It's an easy read and can provide a little perspective about different ways that people express their affection.

Hugh & Gomi, both of you poopyheads made me shed a few tears. I love you both!

Oh, you know I love you too, goshling!

I also grew up in an undemonstrative family. We just didn't hug or say "I love you".

Enter the mister. He is quite cuddly, hand-holdy, says "I love you" all the time, etc. He taught me to do the same.

I now hug and say "I love you" to my family members. And, oddly enough, everyone started doing it to/with each other. I don't know why my loosening up loosened up the family, but I'm so very glad it did.

Also, today I saw an older couple (60s or thereabouts) out at dinner with two granddaughters. Once they were sat at the next booth the man arranged his arm along the back of the booth and hugged the woman to him. She obviously welcomed the gesture. He left his arm there until they were served their drinks. It was a lovely thing to see and I hope the mister and I are the same way in our later years.