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21 April 2010
So, my security check cleared. And I'm going to be in the 4th row at the Great Hall Of the Cooper Union for the POTUS' speech tomorrow. Dear god, what do I wear?
Definitely wear something completely naughty underneath, I bet lots of people do when in the presence of POTUS. Hell, I bet his Obamaship himself is rocking a purple thong just 'cause he can.
The Mad Hatter costume from Alice in Wonderland's "Mad Tea Party" is definitely out, even if you can prove you got it from Johnny Depp...
The Mozart costume might work if you carry a sign that clearly says "ROCK ME OBAMADEUS"... (I like that gag)
Just wear something more-respectable-than-usual and for gunny's sake, don't write anything on your hands... they do provide individual teleprompters...
I will pay you $102 if you dress like a Na'vi who's dressed like a smurf. Think turducken, use Hello Kitty dressed as X as a reference point for how one does turducken effectively. In fact, I'll pay you $103 to dress as hello kitty dressed as a Na'vi who's dressed as a smurf.
You know what else costs money? Erasing your mouth. And then drawing one on top of where your mouth should be.
I stand before the closet, wondering what kind of torture corset I'll need to fit back into that 3-piece. Bracers. Pins. Spats. I had forgot about cufflinks.
It was weird. Very quick, very direct. I didn't feel like the speech was for me for say. I felt like it was for the first 3 rows, the politicians and CEOs and the like. The entire speech burned down to "This is what I'm going to do. I need you behind it. If you're not behind it, you'll look stupid." Not a whole lot of rhetorical flourishes (although one nice one about panicking bankers in 1933) but also not many appeals to emotion. One of the Goldman Sachs people left the speech mid-way.
The really interesting thing was all the schmoozing and bally-ho and seat moving and DOUBLE HANDED SMART PHONE TYPING by the assembled hordes of wonks and aides and media. Sooooooo much gossip, it was like a High School cafeteria.