MetaChat - go or don't go?

MetaChat is an informal place for MeFites to touch base and post, discuss and chatter about topics that may not belong on MetaFilter. Questions? Check the FAQ. Please note: This is important.

12 March 2010

go or don't go? I am invited to a baby shower for someone I haven't seen socially in a few years. →[More:]

The people I know who were invited are not going, and I fear that everyone who shows up will be a marathon-running PhD (I am not exaggerating) hence setting me up for a weekend of muttering at my own lack of achievement.

And yet, I love buying gifts for babies. I don't know. Should I go?

post by: pinky.p at: 15:21 | 24 comments

oh crap. I just realized I don't know how to do a "more inside" here!

posted by pinky.p 12 March | 15:22

I say go. You like the mother of the soon-to-be-born baby (I hope!), and there will probably be food. I love food.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 12 March | 15:23

Yeah. I mean it's not like you're worried about them judging you right, you're worried about judging yourself, eff that. I know it's hard to just wave an insecurity away but ... chances are they aren't that much happier than you are, they're just different from you. If there's something you want in your life that they have you can change it in your own time, or you can forego it when it doesn't matter. Meanwhile go hang out with the to-be-mama. Maybe it'll open a social context for you making some of these people 'people I know' :)

posted by Firas 12 March | 15:24

tps, I like how you think. I do like her, and I am sure refreshments will be provided :-)

firas - you are helping me firm up my decision. I think I will go...probably. Maybe I'll get a haircut first or something :-)

posted by pinky.p 12 March | 15:34

Food is my #1 priority in life. I go where the food is :D

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 12 March | 15:34

Use the MI button under the text box to do a more inside. :)
Listen, all anyone will be talking about is baby stuff, and you have plenty to say about that! Who cares if you're not a marathon-running phD? Few people in real life are. You are an awesome person with awesome taste in baby gifts, so I say, go! But have an excuse ready to leave early if you do feel uncomfortable.

posted by leesh 12 March | 15:36

I am invited to a baby shower for someone I haven't seen socially in a few years.

Is she family? Otherwise, I wouldn't go. Baby showers are very (and purposefully) the Mom-to-Be-Centric-Love-Fests. It's not going to be a great opportunity to reconnect with anyone, and, if you haven't seen her socially in years, why else would be going? Will you know anyone else there?

Besides, if you're already worried about the PhD marathon running thing, the fecundity-footrace is going to be every bit as bad.

posted by crush-onastick 12 March | 15:37

Fecundity! Good word.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 12 March | 15:38

Food is my #1 priority in life. I go where the food is :D

Party food especially. Mmm, party food!

Oftentimes, though, the girly-gendered events like baby showers have a fantasssssssstic spread of gorgeous food and no one is actually plowing in and eating the damned stuff: they're all taking tiny dainty bites. Feh! Eat the food, I say!

At a baby shower last Sunday, the buffet had those tiny little weak paper plates that will hold, like, a grape and a cracker. I was tickled to see that the mother-to-be had a loaded plate on each knee and one on the table next to her.

posted by Elsa 12 March | 15:40

Besides, if you're already worried about the PhD marathon running thing, the fecundity-footrace is going to be every bit as bad.

oh, I'm not worried about that - I have a kid, I've been there, done that. I don't envy anyone the newborn experience!

posted by pinky.p 12 March | 15:45

Plus, tiny baby clothes!

and the food. always the food.

posted by gaspode 12 March | 15:45

Buy and send a baby gift but don't go?

posted by rainbaby 12 March | 15:46

gaspode, I already have a shopping cart open with a matching onesie and karate pants, in asphalt!

(I would buy the baby an all-black outfit, but they will be born in July, after all)

posted by pinky.p 12 March | 15:56

Buy and send a baby gift but don't go?

This, by the way, is my recent resolution for baby showers: I gave myself blanket permission* to cheerfully RSVP my regrets to every baby shower from now until forever. I will send you some adorable booties and onesies and a stuffed armadillo and all my love and kind wishes, but I will not sit around cooing and smiling and feeling like hell.

I originally typed "blanket persimmon," which A) sounds delicious and B) is my new band name.

posted by Elsa 12 March | 16:03

Just pretend you're European and that you don't do baby showers. Visit the family some time after the child is born. The upside: see a tiny baby.
Cute like a kitten but no fur.

posted by jouke 12 March | 16:26

Cute like a kitten but no fur.

pinky and I did once determine that newborns and kittens have an awful lot in common.

posted by leesh 12 March | 16:29

That's why I used to call my cat the furry baby.
And then later my newborn daughter obviously was the furless pet.

posted by jouke 12 March | 16:34

At the baby and wedding showers I've been to, there are always a few people who don't know anyone but the woman of honor and other people introduce themselves and are nice. If it's a seated event like lunch at a restaurant or something, all the better, because then you can just talk to whoever is next to you.
If you like the woman, go.
If you kind of don't care that much or are really shy, then just send a gift or nothing at all.
And if/when people go around comparing accomplishments and make you feel bad, just make note of how their wrinkles are more apparent when they talk and don't tell them about the food stuck in their teeth.

posted by rmless2 12 March | 16:38

matching onesie and karate pants, in asphalt!

OMG now I have to have another baby so I can buy these. Heh.

posted by gaspode 12 March | 16:44

gaspode, I see things every week that make me have that thought!

posted by pinky.p 12 March | 17:26

That's why I used to call my cat the furry baby
A friend/colleague calls her dog 'the fur child' and complained that she didn't get to bring it to work on 'bring your brat to work day'.

posted by dg 12 March | 17:53

pinky, yours was the last shower I've been to. A woman that came to my housewarming but who I haven't seen otherwise in the last, oh, 4 years at least invited me to her baby shower later this month. I have no idea if I want to go or not.

posted by Stewriffic 12 March | 19:21

stew, we can both flip coins, because I still am not entirely sure what I'm going to do!

posted by pinky.p 12 March | 19:37

Cammo baby clothes.

posted by warbaby 14 March | 09:54

← So I'm in the shower thinking of Mrs. Robinson || Friday, Saturday, Sunday 3-point update. →

HOME || REGISTER || LOGIN