Waaaay calmer. Way less maudlin and angsty and anguished. Way more stable and responsible and with a tick tick ticking biological clock.

As I approach mid 40's I've become more confident in myself. I've always been arrogant, but I now I know what my limits are, and perhaps more importantly, where my strengths are.

And I've learned to accept and sometimes even embrace being wrong. I used to be petrified of being wrong (or even worse - being CAUGHT being wrong), but now I've accepted that that's one of the ways we learn and grow. That realization has opened my world to stepping outside of my comfort zone and taking chances.

With that said, I've learned to cherish my comfort zone. Mrs Agogo and I have carved out a wonderful life together and have made a very comfortable home - and quite often it's the only place in the world I want to be.

And I've learned to listen. I spent much of life waiting for the other person to stop talking because I had so much to say. After working on being a better listener, I've learned that conversations are much more fun and rewarding than what I was doing before.

As I've said before, I am really digging getting older. I'm happier at 43 than I was at 33 or 23. I have more fun, I enjoy the good things more, I deal with the bad things better, and I feel a calm that the younger me would never have understood or appreciated. I feel like a whole lifetime of experiences are converging in just the right ways - and that's a hell of a great feeling.

I'm far more comfortable in my own skin than I was ten years ago, which I attribute to the changes I had to go through after I stopped drinking in 1999.

I'm less tolerant of bad behaviour and manners than I used to be.

I'm also far more aware that there are consequences to my actions, and that everything has a price, not necessarily monetary.

Jason, I think you're doing yourself a disservice. You're a kind, caring person.

There are numerous positive changes. I think I have matured considerably. I am by no means a fully evolved individual -- I'm more evolved than I was in my twenties and early thirties.

I see the gray in most things. I no longer view things in black and white. I think this is normal process most people go through. Nothing too ground breaking there.

I'm more confident than ever. I'm less self-conscious. I don't relive every interaction, wondering if I said something wrong or stupid. Like Slack-a-gogo and amro, I'm more calm. Too calm I think. Maybe I don't give a damn. Sometimes I feel numb and feel like my memory is shot.

I do think I am less fun. I used to have a lot of fun, though I was never especially good at "letting lose". Now, it's nearly impossible. I have to do something about that. I am a goofball at home but other than that I'm too serious for my own good. There is very little spontaneity. Very little dancing, hooting and hollering, or flirting.

Rat-own to everything Slack-A-Gogo said.

Jason, I think you're doing yourself a disservice. You're a kind, caring person.

Well, Jan, in many ways, yes. I am kind and caring. In other ways, not so much. As I said earlier, I'm not as nice as I used to be. But I think I'm a much better person than I ever was.

I am a goofball at home but other than that I'm too serious for my own good. There is very little spontaneity. Very little dancing, hooting and hollering, or flirting.

In all fairness, Lori, the early-twenties single lifestyle is a little more conducive to those things than the late-thirties married-with-kids lifestyle.

I think it's funny that as you get older, your vision on who is the same age as you changes. When I was 12, I had crushes on 12 year old boys. Now I'm mid-20s, and they're children, and all the 30 year old people I work with seem like they're my age.

I'm much more tolerant of fools than I used to be - much more prepared to be patient with them where, years ago, I would have launched a barrage of criticism at them and walked away, I'm more prepared to talk.

I'm much less tolerant of things that don't really interest me - at 48, I'm much more conscious that we only get a certain time on earth and that I've wasted far too much already on things that don't matter (to me).

Ironically, as I've got older, I'm much more tolerant of the young than I was a few years ago. Maybe it's partly from being a relatively old parent or maybe it's just that letting go of angst about things that don't affect me, but feel much less GOMLy than I did a few years ago.

I'm much more inclined to make a fool of myself - not feeling the need to act grown-up and/or cool has freed me from having to act within certain boundaries and I'm much more likely to just do something without thinking about what people will think.

I'm much more inclined to keep my mouth shut - I tend to blurt things out in an attempt (I think) to show how smart I am. I'm now much more inclined to wait until I'm sure I know what I'm talking about (which seems less and less often).

I'm calmer, more accepting of my lot in life and a hell of a lot happier than I was ten years ago (or 20). If I keep getting happier this way, I'll have to give up my curmudgeon reputation for someone younger.

I've learned that other people's opinions of what I should do and how I should do it aren't always correct.

I know that I don't like high-stress, high-stake jobs where everyone looks at me with 'what do I do?!'

I have to motivate myself and that includes doing things like relaxing because otherwise I'll get caught up in the 'must do stuff' mindset.

I realized that listening to my heart can be better than listening to my head.

I'm more cynical now, but that cynicism is backed with experience, not just snarkassedness.

How have you changed as you've gotten older?

No. I'm still just a parasitic mass of protoplasm.

I'm much more like dg says he's become.
Also, I no longer believe that my idiosyncratic points of view mean there's something the matter with me.
Also, I know for a fact that Jason is nicer now than he used to be.

I look like hell. Seriously. I am completely rethinking my stand on plastic surgery.

Others have covered all the turf I'd have walked, especially dg, amro, and slack. So there's not all that much left for me to say that others haven't said more succinctly and better.

I've become more patient, more forgiving, more philosophical, and somewhat less judgmental and arrogant (though not enough as yet). Thanks be to God, I've also become less anxious and less emotional and more able to see beyond the present moment to a wider reality that is less focused on my present tribulations. I've become more active, more self-directed, and more of a realist, and a lot more comfortable saying "that's just how I am/things are/people are," recognizing the real situation - and trying to cope with it - as opposed to hoping or wishing things were different in some idealized way.

I've stopped thinking that life is perfectable.

I've stopped thinking that most mistakes are life-thwarting disasters.

I've learned that there's a lot of shit that's always always going to irritate me and that I'm much better off just turning off those channels and not paying attention to it. This goes for everything from fashion to political views to personalities.

I've become a bit more able to live and let live while not giving up on changing the things I might have influence over. My sense of where that influence begins and ends is much sharper and more circumscribed.

I'm much more tolerant than I used to be. A lot of stuff just isn't worth getting all worked up about. I definitely see a lot more shades of grey than black and white.

I'm much more of a homebody and it's not necessarily a positive change. It's not exactly agoraphobia, but I'd much rather be in my home than anywhere else.

I'm more cynical, but like sperose says, it's backed by experience. I try not to let it colour my world too much.

I'm a happier, better, younger person than I've ever been. So many people are scared of getting older and I wish I could tell them how good it is.

2009 is the year my eyes decided that they need a little help with dark light and/or small print when reading or doing the crossword

I've gotten a lot less self-conscience and less worried in what other people think of me. I used to be a mess of self doubt and embarrassment but at some point it stopped bothering me. Being in a very happy long term relationship and having a moderately successful career probably helped give me some foundation for that.

I'm also much fatter, grayer and slower than I was. Sucks.

I'm a redhead instead of platinum blond. I'm bitter and cynical in a way that I can actually back up with experience now, whereas before I was just pre-emptivly bitter and cynical. He he he.

I'm realizing there is much, much more to do in the world than I can possibly imagine, and hat I should probably get a move on doing as much of them as I can think of.

I'm also very much more aware of the importance of cultivating relationships with people, and just how much (a whole fucking lot) I am behind the curve on this.

I suck more.

I've changed in the way that people only get so many chances and when those chances have been used up - I'm just done. It's not really a thing backed by ill will or some kind of super emotional charge - I just reach a place where I'm done. In the past I would get walked over like a doormat more than I should have been and then I would spend time/energy being upset or bitter about it.

I'm at a place where if I say I don't give a shit - I really truly do not give a shit. In the past I think if I said I didn't give a shit it was more me not wanting to give a shit instead of me truly not giving a shit.

I also now fully believe in the power of saying "NO" to things and being fine with it. NO I DO NOT WANT TO DO YOUR CHORES FOR YOU FELLOW ADULT FRIEND. Etc.

I'm now also trying (this one is really hard for me) to keep my expectations firmly rooted in myself and not put expectations on other people. I'm a slow learner on this one.

I now realize that I'm worth fighting for even if it can feel like nobody else thinks that. Yeah, I almost had to beat some lady's ass at a bar to realize that I would physically fight for myself but again, I'M A SLOW LEARNER. I'm glad I didn't actually fight her because it would have been a true Ralphie moment and I would have pummeled her.

I had a very intense but very brief Libertarian phase that I'm now atoning for with community works and violently socialist leanings.

I like to yell at strangers. I didn't used to do that.

I've dwindled my drama down to pretty much nothing and have gotten good at keeping other people's drama from poisoning my life with decent grace.

I've stopped excusing or explaining what I do. I apologize often if I've hurt someone's feelings or made a mistake, but I don't apologize for just being me if I've been acting in good faith and making an effort, with a few exceptions.

I've mostly made peace with my family and with people who seem to think I should have a different relationship with them [or my boyfriend] than I do.

I've gotten over my constant self-introspection and improvement programs and balanced them a little better so that I can use my "spare cycles" to help other people.

I've remained firm that I'd rather suffer the occasional misfortune because I was too trusting or open or friendly than be too cautious or suspicious al the time.

I'm okay with the big city life passing me by. I visit it often, it's nice.

I feel like I spent a lot of time hammering this life into shape and now I feel that I've got the time, energy and groundedness to enjoy it. It's not bad.

I am pretty much the person I was, but I like myself better, and am more relaxed, generally. I seem to have let a lot go, in terms of expectations about this or that way to behave. In a sports metaphor, I seem to letting the game come to me, more.

I can choose my battles better, and, for me, this means FIGHTING some rather than running away from all of them.

I'm kinder. My own private griefs and losses have taught me that at one time or another, we are all walking wounded. That thought lives in the back of my head and tempers my interaction with others.

I'm clearer. I don't play games or manipulate people, as (I now see) I did when I was younger. I define my boundaries as clearly as I can and calmly enforce them. I respect other people's boundaries, and try to take them at their word rather than divining some hidden meaning.

I'm better educated, and I think smarter, but I no longer care much about my own intelligence. Perhaps the gravest disservice my parents did their children was to assure us in word and deed that we would always be the smartest people in a given room. As I aged, I learned
- that's all too often not the case
- it doesn't fucking matter who's smart and who's not, since so many things are more important than flat intelligence: hard work, compassion, creativity, persistence, dedication. I value those things more than brains in others and in myself. (Brains are nice, too.)

I'm more reliable, more nurturing, more open, less dramatic.

I'm happier. Oh, I'm so much happier.

In a sports metaphor, I seem to letting the game come to me, more.

I like this metaphor. Thank you, Dan.