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14 December 2009

Rant: the dreaded Brazil Nut. [More:]

Oh MY how I abhor Brazil nuts. And there are so many of them in the mixed nuts I use to make chex mix at this time of the year.

Damn them. Damn them all to hell.
What did the Brazil nut ever do to you? Is that the nut that pulled a knife on your mom that one time, or was it the nut who pulled your hair in third grade?

(for the record, I think Brazil nuts are yummy, I think all nuts are yummy)
posted by msali 14 December | 21:13
The Brazil nut embitters my mouth with its moldy-tasting nastiness.
posted by Stewriffic 14 December | 21:20
Aw, I LOVE Brazil nuts! They're one of the special things about holiday mixed nuts.

Though I agree with msali, all nuts are yummy, making holidaytime the best season for us nut lovers.

So here's a question: in a bowl of mixed nuts, in what order of preference do you rank the various nuts? I would say:

1. Cashew
2. Pecan
3. Brazil
4. Macadamia
5. Hazel
6. Wal-
7. Almond*
8. (The Lowly) Pea

*Note: this order applies only to mixed nuts. Averaged over the course of a year, I eat more almonds than anything, in snacks and recipes; walnuts second; and pecans third. Peanuts are consumed only when under duress, such as being at a bar where they are placed in front of you.
posted by Miko 14 December | 21:26
See also How Much is Inside: Planters Mixed Nuts
posted by Miko 14 December | 21:27
My ranking:

1. Pecan
2. Almond
3. Peanuts
4. Macadamia*
5. Cashew
6. Hazelnuts**
7. Walnuts
8. Brazil nuts

*I love them, but they're often close to rancid and need more salt than will stick to them.

**In mixed nut context only does the hazelnut rank this low. Put it with chocolate, and it's #1.

I think one of my main complaints about nuts is when they still have the bitter skin on them. Also, roasted is always tastier than raw. Except maybe for boiled peanuts, but that's a different beast.

posted by Stewriffic 14 December | 21:39
The Cilantro of Nuts, then?
posted by danf 14 December | 21:43
Oooh

1. Cashew
2. Brazil
3. Walnut
4. Pecan
5. may I introduce... pistachio? (although not your mixed nut standard, I still have to mention it)
6. Almond
7. Hazelnut
8. macadamia (goes up if choc covered)
9. peanut

And I love peanuts! mmm nuts are awesome.
posted by gaspode 14 December | 21:44
Oh god, adding in the pistachio would make it #1 for me. Even the risk of getting one of the nasty, messed-up ones is worth the goodness of the pistachio.
posted by Stewriffic 14 December | 21:47
Naimin' Nuts
posted by danf 14 December | 21:52
There used to be a raw vegan grocery/cafe in the East Village right underneath my friend's apartment, and one day I was waiting for her outside when this super hot guy came out in a white apron and asked me if I wanted to come in and try some of their food. I noticed his beautiful eyes but I didn't see the crazy in them... yet.
When I got inside, he asked me if I wanted to try his "nut milk" and I bit the inside of my cheek so hard to keep from laughing that I almost drew blood. So he handed me a tiny dixie cup and right before I drank it, he said "you should know, it's supposed to be a little salty."
And that is when I snarfed nut milk.
It was made of Brazil nuts.

(then he tried to tell me about energy life forces etc and I backed away slowly)
posted by rmless2 14 December | 21:54
1. Peanuts
2. Almond
3. Hazelnuts
4. Walnuts
5 - 10 All the others.
posted by octothorpe 14 December | 22:00
rmless2, I just snorted, I am so immature.
posted by msali 14 December | 22:00
I had to interrupt my reading of this to go eat some nuts. Also, some sunflower seeds. The counting the nuts in the Planters thing, to be done right, requires a larger sample and some measure of standard deviation. Say, 30+ cans to disprove the null hypothesis that the peanuts make up less than 50%. I'm teaching a statistics course and the final exam is in 2 days and I'm going a little nuts.
posted by Obscure Reference 14 December | 22:07
If you're in the US, get thee to a Walgreen's. They have a mixed nut (with a label like "deluxe" or "premium" or some such) that has no Brazils, not even peanuts. It's pecans, almonds, cashews, even macadamias. Excellent nut mix.
posted by middleclasstool 14 December | 22:51
what is wrong with you cashew people? were you dropped on your heads?

PECANS FTW

also, walnuts.
posted by desjardins 14 December | 22:56
1) Pistachios
2) Macadamia
3) Cashews
4) Pecans
5) Walnuts
6) Almonds
7) Peanuts
8) Everything else except
1,000,000) Hazelnuts, no way, yuk, ptui

What about filberts?
posted by Kangaroo 14 December | 23:32
I don't really like brazil nuts either.

And hazelnuts will kill me, so I don't care for the taste anymore. I'm glad I ate all the Nutella I wanted in the many years before I became allergic. Someone I once knew told me that since I developed this allergy later in my life, eventually, over time, ALL NUTS COULD KILL ME. This conversation was several years ago, and thankfully, has not (yet) come true.
posted by pinky.p 14 December | 23:41
I always enjoy watching brazil nuts baffle squirrels. I think the work to get to the inside outweighs the gain. They usually seem to carry them off. Half the time; they don't even bury them, as it leaving the frustration for the next squirrel to fool with.

I have seriously spent too much time watching animals.
posted by buzzman 15 December | 00:16
rmless, is this the guy at Quintessence whose behavior sparked hollaback?

Filberts and hazelnuts are the same thing.

1.pecan, hazelnut, walnut
4 almond
5 peanut
6. macadamia, brazil (both tasteless to me), pistachio
9.cashew (which I pick out and discard if I'm eating mixed nuts)
posted by brujita 15 December | 01:11
1. Walnut
2. Pecan
3. Peanut

I don't like the rest of them.
posted by deborah 15 December | 02:32
Roasted/fried:
1. Dried Green Peas
2. Pistachios
3. Macadamia
4. Cashew
5. Almond
6. Peanut
7. Pecan*

The excessive tannins in the skins of the following make the following three completely inedible to me. Some batches of pecans fall into this group:
Brazil
Hazel
Walnut**

*When baked into pie, pecans shoot up toward the top of the list.
**When baked into brownies or cookies, I pick them out while shuddering
posted by jamaro 15 December | 02:46
Curse you all, now I have to start eating nuts.

For the record:

1. Macadamia
2. Cashew
3. Hazel
4. Brazil
5. Almond
6. Walnut


...though I do feel guilty whenever I eat macadamias or cashews (eating macadamias now that I bought for next to nothing when I was in Queensland this year) I feel guilty, because they should be saved to encrust flathead tails.
posted by pompomtom 15 December | 03:31
One of these days I had a realization... I was eating nuts from a mix, and figured out I'm not a big fan of Pecans or Brazil nuts, and don't care much for walnuts either (and the mix didn't have hazelnuts). So in the end I'm buying the trail mix just for the cashews and almonds and a lot of little disappointments when I draw another nut.
posted by qvantamon 15 December | 05:38
I'm eating walnuts as we speak. But my ranking:

1) pistachio
2) pecan
3) Brazil nut
4) Walnut
5) Almond
6) Macadamia
7) Cahsew
posted by lysdexic 15 December | 06:45
uh, gesundheit, me
posted by lysdexic 15 December | 06:45
Filberts and hazelnuts are the same thing.

Same species, but slightly different varietues.
posted by Miko 15 December | 10:33
1. Cashew
2. Peanut
3. Almond
4. Macadamia
5. Hazlenut (switches with macadamia when in chocolate)

I'm not big into nuts. Except cashews. I loooooooooooove cashews.
posted by sperose 15 December | 11:00
I see we're using a broad definition for nuts, since Almonds and Peanuts aren't really nuts in the true sense.

As for myself, I don't think I can really rank them. I find them mostly yummy. Macadamias are way too inconsistent for my taste, but I do like good ones. Walnuts might be my favorite though. I also like the non-nut Almonds. Oh, and peanuts too. Salted in the shell. Mmmmm.
posted by eekacat 15 December | 11:12
Pistachio
Macadamia
Hazelnut
Almond
Peanut
Cashew
Pecan
Walnut
Brazil nut

I like the first few very much and don't like the last few much at all.
posted by box 15 December | 11:39
Naimin' Nuts
posted by danf 14 December | 21:52


That's my absolute favorite bit from that movie! Anytime anyone mentions the name of any nut around me, I feel compelled to launch right into that monologue.
posted by Atom Eyes 15 December | 12:06
Behold the snack at the conference I'm attending today:

≡ Click to see image ≡

Many peanuts
8.5 Almonds
1 pecan
1 hazelnut
2 Brazil nuts
posted by Stewriffic 15 December | 14:45
I see we're using a broad definition for nuts,

Oh, sure. It gets too crazy when you start pointing out which are really legumes, which are tree nuts, which are fruits, which are true seeds, etc. In culinary parlance, categories like 'nut' and 'vegetable' and 'fruit' are based more on how one treats them in preparation and food service than on any botanical classification - and even those are arbitrary at the margins. Those concerned with the taxonomy are best sticking to Latin; even people with allergies don't always have the allergies divide along neat lines like legumes/tree nuts/etc.
posted by Miko 15 December | 23:27
Certainly, let's all just wave our arms in the air and claim it's too tough. Those nut things are way too confusing. Sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds are nutty too, should I include them? Oh, and tomato, is it a fruit or a vegetable? How shall I count it in my food pyramid?

My suggestion is to call things what they are. In the case of this thread, everything is a seed of some sort. Tasty snack seeds seems to be the theme. They pack a certain punch because of their nature, but they aren't all equal. Our language is obscured enough as it is. Why don't we start using it?

Here's an anecdote from my own personal experience that is somewhat related. We grow up not really learning a language for flavor. Visual things we're good at: that's square, that's yellow, but for flavor we don't learn that language so well. A perfect example is the confusion between 2 of the 5 (yes I believe in 5) basic tastes. People seem to confuse bitter with sour. When I was in the wine business, I'd have people say they didn't like something because it was too bitter. When I asked "bitter like lemon juice" and they said yes, then it was sour they didn't like, but somehow they were taught it was bitter. Perhaps it's a small thing to consider the actual definition of something, but I think it's important, and the more people know the better I say. I'm all about spreading knowledge. Seriously, the definition of a nut isn't all that confusing. Neither is the definition of a seed. Things can be classified conveniently, let's just use our language. USE YOUR WORDS!

posted by eekacat 16 December | 17:25
Mozart Monday: Apollo et Hyacinthus, "Natus cadit" || Happy Birthday, deborah!!!

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