It doesn't add much, dear, you have the relevant text in the post.

Wear your deleted post like a badge of honor. I've had quite a few deleted and some that I wish were deleted. No reason to fear the MeTa.

Well, if at first you don't succeed, try and try again!

Thanks. *hugs a Banana and a Chef*

like bad nights in worse bars, deleted posts build character.

Did it get deleted?

It kind of did. No biggie, TrishaLynn (and I was all "ooh!" the other day when I saw you register), but there's stuff that's kind of niche enough that it might work totally okay over here as like "talk about this if you feel like it, or don't!" chat-fodder that, ported to the blue, can end up raising a lot of "...and?" kind of reactions from folks.

That's pretty much what was going on with this; without some sort of extra context to make it clear why this was anything other than a mild East Village kerfluffle, it's just a little bit ultra-local to work well as a post.

Yep, baleeted. But I take no offense.

cortex: Question, though. If I were to turn it into a compare/contrast with various "official" responses to blogger/Internet "investigations"... would that make it FPP-worthy?

And is this getting too MeFi-y for the bunny?

Wear your deleted post like a badge of honor.

Totally. If you've done dozens of posts and never had a single one deleted, you've never taken any risks.

MetaFilter would be much more fun and interesting if people took the ColdChef approach, instead of viewing deletions as some kind of narcissistic injury.

It's hard for me to judge a counterfactual in abstract, TrishaLynn, so I'm gonna go with a noncommittal "maybe?" -- the problem with today's post was not the dynamic in question (blog vs. meatspace conflict and resolution, etc) so much as just the why-does-anyone-not-in-Eville-care thing, so if it was a post that was more approachable/interesting to readers in general it might be fine -- but if you have a notion for a do-over you're welcome to run an actual draft by me for an opinion.

I won't push the mefiness if it's getting too much, but my understanding is the main concern is to avoid getting into cross-site drama or otherwise doing negative metafilter-by-proxy stuff over here, not to just Never Discuss That Place etc.

Totally. If you've done dozens of posts and never had a single one deleted, you've never taken any risks.

I don't think you need to "take risks" to make great posts that obviously won't get deleted.

Wolfdog: I think of doing any kind of FPP'ing with MeFi as taking a risk because it is supposed to be stuff that's really worth reading and when put into that context, I understand why it got deleted.

I guess I'm just used to how casual things are over here and in the LJ community I co-mod and going from that to the blue is just plain intimidating. To make a comparison? I'm more scared of MeFi reactions to any of my comments/posts than I was of listening to my TAL broadcast for the first time or learning from jonmc that the coffee table book where I'm topless is on sale now at the Strand.

I was really terrified of making my first FPP. It's definitely worth losing the fear over. It's not a big deal, and people have to be willing to post to make the site interesting.

I do think of MeFi like a magazine, and MeCha like a casual discussion at the bar, though. I try to only post stuff to MeFi that I can imagine seeing in a magazine I'd read - sort of acting as an editor in my mind before the fact. That doesn't make all my posts successful. But it does help me to start with a different sense of the audience and platform.

I hope you stay on MeFi and keep posting. In fact if you participate in threads as just a commenter for a while first it becomes easier to clarify what might make a good post. You'll also build up a network of people who have goodwill for you so you won't be so scared when you make your first FPPs.

Trisha, here is an example of one of my trainwrecks over there.

So don't feel bad.

I'll bet you feel bad enough that cortex should buy you a beer? send flowers? (c'mon, work it)

Heh, theora.

Dough. Nut.

So yea! I had a post in mind today that I was afraid was going to not go over well, but I posted it anyway after reading all this. It seems to be going well!

I've posted three FPPs over at the Blue and have been scared outta my gourd each time. I think that's normal.

danf - that's an awesome thread.

Oh, yeah, the blue site is totally scary, harsh and merciless. They will hack you up for barbecue. You should be scared shitless to post there. Don't do it. Really. It couldn't possibly worth it.

If I can turn the sarcasm off for a minute - I'm not actually sure I can, but if - aha! *click* *beeeoop* - I really don't get why people find it scary to post to MetaFilter, and I've heard it enough times from intelligent, level-headed people that it's becoming a real head-scratcher. Is it like a public speaking phobia, or something? Is 'somebody might not like my post' too close to 'somebody might not like me'? Where's the scary? I'm having a hard time asking this without it sounding like 'why are you all not as cool as I am', which is really not what I'm aiming for and for the record I am stupendously uncool in virtually every regard. But the curiosity has been mounting too long!

Not that anyone asked, but here's one possible workflow that has always been pretty stress-free for me.

1. Notice a cool thing on the web.
2. [Optional] Wait around for anywhere from a couple of hours to a week to see if it still seems cool. Someone might post it before you, but that's still a win because the cool thing got posted.
3. Post a link to the cool thing.
4. Your work is done! In the spirit of celebrating cool things, have a nice frosty one yourself.

And still not that anyone asked, but if there's a single rule of thumb for me about the whole business, it's that the essence of a post should be 'look at this' rather than 'look at me'.

Is 'somebody might not like my post' too close to 'somebody might not like me'? Where's the scary?

Yes. That. Multiplied by perhaps a factor of 2 because a) many people on MeFi are smarter than me and I'm not very good at expressing my opinions and thoughts in a way that relays my point without misunderstanding, b) I'm a new person trying to break into a larger group from a smaller one.

For me, making the jump from MeCha to MeFi is like someone moving from a small town in one country to a larger metropolis in a different country and perhaps you'll get the point of how I feel.

I like you Trishalynn!

I'm a new person trying to break into a larger group from a smaller one.

In my opinion, the way to "break into" the MeFi community is through comments rather than posts. I would go so far as to say that you don't need to post ever to be a great community member.

I don't know if I'm a great community member or not but I've only posted to the front page twice in five years now. Generally everything that I think of posting gets put up by someone else before I get around to it.

danf - that's an awesome thread.

Well it needs to be faved a bit more then, doncha think?

Wolfdog's method is pretty dang solid -- if you only post when you trip across something unambiguously great, and don't ever fall prey to the abstract Impetus To Post, you'll be in good shape. And I think that impulse is very common for folks who are becoming active members/posters of Metafilter for the first time, so it's totally understandable, but try not to let it get inside your head too much.

And grouse is I think pretty much right about the value of comments as the real road to establishing yourself as one of the newer neighbors in the community. Engaging enthusiastically on subjects that interest you as they come up will give you a chance to get into meaty exchanges with other mefites, and may help mitigate any of that New Person, Gotta Act feeling above to boot.

I've probably made more comments in metatalk than anyone else on the site, for example, just because I've been enthusiastic about that whole aspect of the site for years before I came onto the staff, but I've only got maybe I think a dozen or a dozen and a half FPPs to my name in all that time, a couple of which at that were kind of forced things. Nobody reasonable is going to give you guff for not making a lot of posts.

(And by "in good shape" I mean "unlikely to run into frequent or potent friction". You can be in perfectly good shape with a more Charlettian approach too, but you need to be ready for some of that friction in that case, and if friction ails you then that's maybe not the best plan.)

I have a pretty bad case of Social Anxiety Disorder and posting to Mefi triggers all those fears. And yes, that means there's a lot of "if they don't like my post, that means they don't like me/think I'm stupid". BUT I don't let the fear stop me. I have posted three FPPs and I've wanted to post at least three or four more but someone has either beat me to it or I didn't think it was good enough after more thought. Sometimes something I've dismissed has been posted, such as the Smoking Gun post about the Pranksters, and gotten a good response. *sigh*

Anyway, I don't think three posts is a great showing for being at Mefi for almost seven years, but despite my fear I do try.

danf - done!

I'm a new person trying to break into a larger group from a smaller one.

I wouldn't even think of it that way - you're an individual. Most people actually come to MeFi not knowing a single soul on the site, whether in RL on from another board. So you're just a new person, which happens every day on MeFi.

In my opinion, the way to "break into" the MeFi community is through comments rather than posts. I would go so far as to say that you don't need to post ever to be a great community member.

That's so true. There's no need to post, and in fact if everyone did, it would scroll so fast as to be irritating. Commenting to me is where the community part lies.