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30 July 2009

A difficult but fascinating listen. Yesterday's episode of "Fresh Air" on NPR was one of the most amazing interviews I've ever heard on that show. [More:]The subject was a woman named Kathleen Sheeder Bonanno, who has published a book of poetry that she wrote as a way to deal with the shock and grief of her adult daughter's murder in 2003.

As I said, the interview is fascinating, as an insight to someone dealing with almost unimaginable grief. Bonanno's poetry is really good, as well. (There are some reprinted on the linked page.) Highly recommended, though obviously, it's probably not for everyone.
I had to turn it off. Being a parent, I found it unbearable to listen to.
posted by danf 30 July | 07:54
I find that the poetry captures the feeling much better than Joan Didion's book. (Cannot listen to the audio since I'm at work.)
posted by mightshould 30 July | 08:05
Downloaded for listening later. Thanks.
posted by occhiblu 30 July | 09:07
Can't listen @ work, can't dl either, will have to remember about this when I get home.

Amazing what art comes from grief and death.
posted by TrishaLynn 30 July | 09:32
Hey, BoringPostcards. I listened to a good chunk of this on my way to work this morning. (I have Sirius and they repeat things). It was very compelling and I cried twice. The fact that she was a young nursing student grabbed my heart.

When I got to work I did a little more research and read this poem and teared up again.

From "True Confessions":

Don't pity me:
I was too lazy to walk
up the stairs
to tuck her in at night.

When I brushed her hair
I pulled hard
on purpose.

And always
the sharp,
plaintive edge
on the rim
of the spoon
of my giving.


I read Joan Didion's book on the death of her husband. I can't compare because I haven't read this author's book of poetry, only snippets. I remember Didion's book being fairly dry and straightfoward. I like that this is a story in poems.
posted by LoriFLA 30 July | 11:51
me: man listening to the most depressing story ever on NPR
lady wrote a book of poetry about the murder of her daughter
"did she suffer? did she suffer? hail mary full of grace did she suffer?"
strangled to death by an ex boyfriend

tim: the answer is likely yes
suffering did happen

me: apparently there's a workshop for parents of the victims of violence where an expert sits you down one on one and tells you, this is how long it takes to die from strangulation (or whatever), how long it takes to lose consciousness, the pain, what the whites of the eyes look like, etc and apparently it's really helpful, weird as that sounds because even though it's hard to hear the truth, at least it's the truth instead of just wondering

tim: hmm yeah
pretty cool
what DO the whites of a strangled person's eyes look like

me: no idea
LET'S FIND OUT

tim: X_X
posted by Juliet Banana 30 July | 16:06
Juliet Banana: she read that "Did She Suffer?" poem in like 25 seconds, but that was the bit that made me choke up. And I was only listening to the show in the background up till that point.

My feeling about all this is what TrishaLynn said:
Amazing what art comes from grief and death.

It really is amazing, and I think it gives us emotional armor. If we ever encounter such grief in our own lives, at least it's not 100% unexplored territory, like it is for most people. We've at least contemplated the worst, and hopefully it will help us survive. And if the best happens and we never meet a situation like this, we witnessed great art that hurt but also had to potential to help us. If we need it.
posted by BoringPostcards 31 July | 02:26
NPR is is so outstanding. They get however many of my dollars I can spare every year.
posted by chewatadistance 31 July | 10:47
Cute Things for Tough Guys || bacon addicts

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