I am now adding Ruth Madoff to this list because of previous post. OMFG STFU.

People who tell me to STFU because I have an opinion that makes them uncomfortable. This happens to me all the time.

Paul McCartney: $300 per ticket, $200 for nosebleed seats. STFU.

Any actor with film credits discussing their new TV series without acknowledging that they'd cut off their mother's thumbs if it meant not having to work in television. [exceptions granted for Holly Hunter and Barbara Hershey, because I love them]

Ohhhh, I love Holly Hunter.

All the stupid non-movie related crap that comes on PRIOR TO THE PREVIEWS at any multiplex in this great land.

Do I care that Jada Pinkett is a nurse with an edge? STFU!

Do I care that Nurse Jackie is another show about another nurse on the edge? STFU!

Am I experiencing added-value by listening to the new teen pop sensation's single, which I ironically have never heard OUTSIDE OF THE MOVIE THEATER, EVER? STFU!

STFU so I can listen to the gaggle of drunken bridesmaids/teenagers/Gossip Girls/incontinent oldsters sitting behind me while they learn how to navigate being citizens in public.

I love Edie Falco too. Why? When asked how she felt about The Sopranos coming to an end, she said, "Well, I'm not thrilled to be out of a job."

STFU!

Do I care that Jada Pinkett is a nurse with an edge? STFU!

I love the "nurse with an edge" and "a man pushed too far" conventions. One of the favorite games in our house (and at The Fella's workplace, the coolest videostore ever) is "Premise!" To play "Premise!," you first come up with, y'know, a film premise for a particular actor, and then list possible film titles.

Example? Sure! Jean-Claude Van Damme is a baker pushed too hard in:
Knead For Vengeance
The Waffler
Eclair and Present Danger
Napoleon Complex
Brioche-ing All the Rules
Petits Force
Bombe!
Choux To Kill
Sweet Fighter
Hard Tart-Get
Cakeboxer
Revenge of the Muffin Man
Damme Baked
Scone Cold Killer
Muffin But Trouble
Battered
Half A Loaf of Mediocre Kung Fu
Pasty Chef
Flan Under Fire
A Spritz Too Far
Whipped Vengeance
Bloodtorte


(I would like to point out that "Bloodtorte, "Eclair and Present Danger," and "Choux To Kill" are among my contributions.)

Oh, right! About people who should SFTU!

Recently the people at whom I most want to holler "STFU" are the people I must smile at instead. They are the people who are stressing out about logistical and social details for which they are not responsible, for which I am responsible, and about which they will not shut up. Every single day, I am being informed of some extrememly unlikely disaster for which I am to be prepared. It is fraying my nerves, and they need to shut up. NOW.

So I came up with a politer version of "STFU!" which consists of me giving a polite glance and saying "You don't need to worry about those details."

"But if [thing goes wrong], [trouble to follow] ---"

"I have given this a lot of thought, and you don't need to worry about those details. Let me worry about them."

This seems to be working so far, in that they are shutting up. (They also know that they're being instructed to shut up, but I don't really wanna waste a lot of energy feeling bad about that.)

Universal Cupcake

Hahahahahahahahaha

Can I talk about people I DON'T want to tell to STFU? Unlike seemingly everyone else who follows celebrity gossip?

Megan Fox. Every time she gives an interview, she says something that makes me want to be her friend all the more. If I was her friend I'd tell her to cool it on the offensive "tranny" comments, though...

Why not muddgirl? I love Jodi Foster, I wish she would come into the light more. I always find her soothing.

To be fair, I don't follow much celeb gossip, I wouldn't know who the Jonas brothers were at all unless I had a step-daughter. I'm actually looking up who Megan Fox is right now, I kind of lead an insular life with the media only being interested in what interests me. I haven't seen any of her movies, but that quote is funny.