Yeah, but I know that a lot of my friends who have big, close families envy the fact that I have relatively little Family Drama to contend with, not to mention the familial expectations that I can neatly side-step.

For example, my friend A., who was told in no uncertain terms that he WOULD NOT get married to his girlfriend until they had graduated from their PhD programs and were at least 35 years old (they were 23 or 24 at the time), because his Cousin Maury married early and Look What Happened To Him!! (he got divorced).

Of course after a year of wrangling A. is getting married, but it was a pretty stressful year.

they all have big families and are really close to each other

an understandable feeling but often, the downside of warm, extended families, particularly when coupled with traditional values, is that the members don't have a whole lot of freedom to be who they want to be. The interpersonal boundaries can be murky. The relations are often patriarchal.

Alienation, like whiskey, can be a great thing in moderation.

You need an abacus to count the descendants of my parents, and a census to track those of my paternal grandparents.

The chaos of seven kids and two parents in a four-bedroom, one bath house is unimaginable. Throw in sharp wits/minds, iron wills and a good dose of ADD and you can get a whiff of what I grew up with.

There are still some hard feelings between some but those would evaporate if there was a real need.

I'm an only child and the whole extended family thing alternately frightens me to death or makes me want to dive in the middle and join in. Particularly at Christmas and other holidays and special occasions. My wedding was a tiny thing with a couple of relatives and a dozen or so friends. It was nice, but part of me wants one of those huge Hindu weddings that go on for three days with a dozen aunties bossing everyone around and several dozen kids screaming blue murder, a lakh of guests and street-clogging processions. By god, you know you're married after one of those!

Sometimes more really is more.