I guess my parents really are right about the fact that anything I do on my own will always, ALWAYS go to shit.

NO! This is SO not true! Anything you do on your own will be part of the web of experiences that will enable you to learn and grow and become your own person.

You were lied to about the studio. So now you'll know to ask those questions next time. Because you will find what you're looking for, you just have to keep looking. If you believe you can't do it and give up, then it'll never happen.

I cringe when I look back at all the bad choices, fuckups and gullibility of my youth. But today, well, I think I'm on the way to becoming awesome, a little bit at a time.

wuffles to you sperose.

and, what jan said.

I guess my parents really are right about the fact that anything I do on my own will always, ALWAYS go to shit.

Next time that thought invites itself in, show it the door. There are a lot of technicalities in life, and you learn about 'em slowly, school of hard knocks-style. Shrug it off. There'll be something else -- keep looking. You can still see yourself somewhere better in 6 months, and you can still get there.

p.s. - is it legal to change the price of an apartment based on how many people live there where you live? I ask because I know this has come up as a discrimination issue in housing law before, and at least in some places I have lived, they couldn't specify a number of occupants or change the price based on the number of occupants.

I guess my parents really are right about the fact that anything I do on my own will always, ALWAYS go to shit.

Is this something that was 100% dependent on your efforts?

No. There were two parties involved -- you and the landlord. You did everything right. You behaved honorably. The landlord behaved deceitfully, maybe even fraudulently. You decided you didn't want to play those games with him.

The deal fell through because of his misrepresentations. Not because of anything you did.


It's not your fault when other people act like scumbags.

You're in NYC, right? Searching for real estate on your own is rough (and as a real estate salesperson, I probably shouldn't be saying this) but there's a huge amount of satisfaction you get when you finally do find the good deal on the right space and you do it all by yourself.

Every single apartment I've had in NYC I've gotten through Craigslist, and I'm happy to say that I am pretty good at sifting through their ads. If you need a pick-me-up and would like some advice on some, shoot 'em my way (@gmail in profile).

And part of being an adult and making adult decisions is learning when you need help and choosing who gets to help you.

What all of them said. Someone else fucked up, not you.
Lots of whuffles and big hugs.

Life the adventure; everything always works out; and somehow everything always works out.

Food, shelter, job, friends,... everything else is icing on the cake. Look back a few decades and never forget how good things are now. I mean, hey! Bing Cherries from Chili? Cool. See. What more can you really, really want out of life?...

sorry about the apartment shit! don't listen to your parents in this regard..

Thanks y'all. The apartment was in College Park, MD. Not even like a super fancy pants part of town. Fucking PRINCE GEORGES COUNTY.

Pops apparently apologized about laughing at me in the car. Of course, he didn't actually apologize TO ME, but rather, he told my mother and then she told me. And then he proceeded to do his whole 'oh let's look at townhouses again' crap.

I plan on giving myself this weekend to be a weepy motherfucker, get very intoxicated with my homie, go skiing and watch shitty movies--and then going into some leads that a friend of mine who went to school down there has suggested.

Ugh. This adult shit is hard.

And as far as legalities are concerned: the fuckers changed their website and I don't think I have a screenshot because they definitely changed the wording. I'm just glad I caught it on the lease before actually signing it. (I would've been seriously fucked, considering that the actual amount they wanted WAS MORE THAN I MAKE IN A MONTH. WTF?)

whuffles...and what everyone else said...you learned a lot from this experience, and are now wiser...this new knowledge will help you find another place on your own in the future...no need to despair over your own abilities because someone else behaved deceitfully

This adult shit IS hard. You should be proud you caught the scumbag's lie before signing: that's more than a lot of people. Most don't even read those things.

((sperose))

Yeah, you did good to catch it.

And let me give you a little perspective. Parents always, always have a hard time realizing our kids are actually capable adults. We remember you when you were in diapers and it takes real effort to remember otherwise....I try hard to see my adult children as capable and even then I blow it a lot. And for what it's worth I am fifty years old and MY folks still talk to me like I was fifteen!

(But I know better so it's all good. *wink*)

Oh, that's too bad but at least you got out while the getting was good and didn't sign on to live in a place run by that creep.

Sometimes I look around at the other "adults" and wonder if they sometimes get overwhelmed by doing all the everyday crap that we have to do, paying bills, going to the bank, taxes, etc and I honestly think everyone has times where they can't seem to get their shit together. You're entitled to a few weepy days and breakdowns, and you'll get back up and sort it out tomorrow, parents or not.

Try not to worry about it. Your apartment is out there, and just because this one fell through due to someone else's sleaziness doesn't mean you aren't capable of finding a good one yourself soon.

Agreed: adult shit is very hard. I continue to fuck up on a regular basis. No one knows any better, even your parents -- we all just mostly fake it.

What the landlord is trying to do is fucked up (and is definitely illegal where I live) and that is NOT your fault. It is also not a bad thing to take people at their word. Even if you get fucked over, it is still always their fault for being unscrupulous.

A. Whuffles, lots of big, soft, comforting whuffles. It's exciting to find a great new place, but then, it's snatched away by meanies(bad landlords).

B. Choose the lesson(s) you want to learn. You did a good job of searching and finding a place. You lined up the necessary resources. You learned that corporate landlords (esp. near a campus) can be greedy and less than scrupulous. You're young; learning is what you're supposed to do. It didn't really turn to shit; it just didn't work out. You're doing fine.

Whuffles!

Please don't let yourself listen to silly lies about you being a failure or whatever you are telling yourself.

Adulthood is for grownups. Way over-rated. Skip it; move on to a retired attitude and mentality. That being said; I've worked this AM, time to go to the park, exercise, drink a beer, feed squirrels, and then go back to work. See. Not unlike some old guy in a NYC park.

Adulthood. Why in God's name would anybody strive for this adulthood BS.

I too am just starting out on all that adult shit. I bought a couch online not 30 minutes ago, because I am a small female who lives up a flight of narrow freestanding stairs and drive a teeny baby Corolla. And I don't know any friends yet around these parts who have trucks. So delivery is necessary.

And I signed for this apartment without finding out that Verizon nominally does not provide it with the internets. I've spent the last two weeks fighting with them about it and I'm exhausted. This is the first time I've ever lived totally by myself without roomies or parents or anyone else to help.

But when I got this job the first thing I insisted to the parents was that I was moving out here by myself and only myself and they were not coming with me. Took almost 3 years to get to the point where I could even think about doing this on my own. And now I'm completely terrified, but so far I'm still alive so I guess I'm doing ok. Would be nice to convince myself to buy the furniture I need though.

Anyway, feel free to email me anytime - we'll both figure out this adulthood thing one way or another. Just wanted to let you know you're not the only bunny out there who's going through the growing up stuff.