MetaChat - Isolation.

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28 January 2009

Isolation. →[More:] It makes a man insane. When you're stuck at home due to a bunch of different circumstances, you start swimming around in your own head endlessly, which can make you very depressed. I'm sure some of you are sick of hearing sbout it, but still company in any form can be most welcome. So, how you doing?

post by: jonmc at: 12:22 | 30 comments

Hi jonmc, sorry you're still feeling low. Is the foot getting any better, I hope? Remember that it's a time-limited situation, and it will pass. Can you ask your peeps aside from Pips (I like how that sounds...)to come over? Isolation is sucky, especially when you feel powerless to change it.

posted by Stewriffic 28 January | 12:28

I do understand the stir-craziness being stuck somewhere when you don't want to be. I hope your Get Out of Jail Free card shows up soon!

posted by deborah 28 January | 12:32

A song for a foot.

posted by Atom Eyes 28 January | 12:35

The French knew what to do...

Economists and bureaucrats who ventured out into the countryside after the Revolution were horrified to find that the work force disappeared between fall and spring. The fields were deserted from Flanders to Provence. Villages and even small towns were silent, with barely a column of smoke to reveal a human presence. As soon as the weather turned cold, people all over France shut themselves away and practiced the forgotten art of doing nothing at all for months on end.

[…] But the French seem to have been particularly sleepy. They "hibernated" even in temperate zones. In Burgundy, after the wine harvest, the workers burned the vine stocks, repaired their tools and left the land to the wolves. A civil servant who investigated the region's economic activity in 1844 found that he was almost the only living presence in the landscape: "These vigorous men will now spend their days in bed, packing their bodies tightly together in order to stay warm and to eat less food. They weaken themselves deliberately."

posted by seanyboy 28 January | 12:36

I totally understand. It is depressing, the unchangingness and lack of stimuli. Especially for someone like you.

This reminds me of the stir craziness you get in places like the military and summer camps - not as isolated, but when the same group of people is confined in one environment for a long time without outside influence, there comes a point where people just start to get odd. I always thought the depiction of some of Hawkeye Pierce's and TrapperJohn/BJ's antics captures this perfectly. At my summer camp it used to really start around Week 5. Guys grew their facial hair weirdly, or got cornrows, people wore bizarro combinations of clothing. All reference to the outside world and its norms disappeared.

That was sort of fun, but only because there were other people there. Going through it alone must be rough. What are you doing right now to fill the days? Writing? Searching for music? Can you learn some magic tricks or something?

posted by Miko 28 January | 12:41

Actually, if only a few things improved, Things would be much better. If it was warm enough to go on the porch, I could sit outside and listen to music and watch people go by. If it wasn't really cold and wet outside, could say fuck it, grab my crutches and go limp down to the corner bar. If i could take a real shower as opposed to a sponge bath, I wouldn't feel all filthy and sluggish. My friends, well, they have jobs and families and things to do. But depression is weird, once you feel depressed, your mind will start manufacturing reasons to be depressed, like somebody calling you a name when you were 10 or you parents yelling at you as a kid, something insignificant like that and you'll feel more depressed. Which sounds nuts, I realize. But it's a feedback loop. Getting on the internet can be OK, but it's the Internet, which means you'll see a lot of stupidity and meanness which will kind of distort your worldview a bit.

Just typing this stuff out loud makes me feel a little better.

posted by jonmc 28 January | 12:45

That's fascinating, seanyboy. Try reading Laura Ingalls Wilder's "The Long Winter," and other works about isolation on the plains in winter. I read a similar book which described, among other things, how some snowed-in farmers ate NOTHING but turnips (meant for their cattle) for the entire winter.

posted by Melismata 28 January | 12:47

I understand. Sometimes (not recently, I've forced myself not to) when I work from home on a Friday I've come home on a Thursday evening and not set foot outside again until Monday morning, crippled with depression. It's horrible. Luckily I've not been in that state for a few months, but it does tend to flow with the cold, wet weather.

Best to you, my friend.

posted by essexjan 28 January | 12:50

I don't have much to say except bummer and hi. Things are OK, but I have to find a new job by June.

posted by gaspode 28 January | 12:57

Good call on "the Long Winter," melismata. Boy, that book built an atmosphere around me when I read it as a kid. That grueling winter, the frozen-in train, the endless grinding of the grain that was supposed to be next summer's crop, the stupidity setting in because of malnutrition.

When I was teaching, I read it aloud to kids and they were no less gripped.

posted by Miko 28 January | 12:59

I found a book of crosswords pips bought me and some BT'd Woody Woodpecker cartoons downloading, plus I finished my coffee and I have some Bugles and beer, so I'll feel better, although a snicker in the back off my mind is saying 'Some depression, whiner!'

Which is kind of ridiculous, now that I've typed it out loud, so to speak, like I'm not allowed to let myself feel good or something.

posted by jonmc 28 January | 13:17

I can understand somewhat Jon, I'm not disabled but I've been out of work for three months and am getting pretty stir crazy. I'm sitting in the coffee shop around the corner right now just to get out of the house. Winter in the slushy north-east just sucks and I'm getting really tired of it right now.

Keep in mind that your foot will get better and the sun will come out again.

posted by octothorpe 28 January | 13:21

But depression is weird, once you feel depressed, your mind will start manufacturing reasons to be depressed, like somebody calling you a name when you were 10 or you parents yelling at you as a kid, something insignificant like that and you'll feel more depressed

I might steal that for a freind, jon, is that ok?

Which is kind of ridiculous, now that I've typed it out loud, so to speak, like I'm not allowed to let myself feel good or something.

It always seems impossible to have been in a bad state once your out of it. I wouldn't worry about it. Glad you're doing better.

posted by lysdexic 28 January | 13:25

Sorry to hear it, man. I've totally been there, and I feel where your head is at. How much longer are you in for? Are there any TV or book series that you always wanted to see but never got around to watching?

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 28 January | 13:33

Go right ahead, lysdexic. I think some this might have been connected to my Obama blowup a week back. I think it was maybe a certain amount of honest "enough already" grumpiness and the rest...well, it's weird when your personal situation is kind of miserable on a happy occasion for a lot of the world*, you feel very disconnected and resentful about it. Plus, as much as I like you guys, we all know eachother pretty well at least in the cybersense, which means we can get pretty predictable to eachother, which can get frustrating, but loneliness was getting to me, so I'm back.

Flo, on 2/5 I go back to the doctor, so hopefully this'll be over then and I'll be back to my old self. Like I said, just talking about it makes me feel better. As for TV shows, I've got a bunch that I'm going to burn as soon as their done downloading including a bunch of the aforementioned Woody Woodpecker. Although, the one I wanted to see most "Romp In A Swamp", I managed to download, but it was dupped in what I think was Russian. Heh.

*and me, too. I was as misty-eyed at his acceptance speech as anyone, so it felt weird to be alienated from the inaguration.

posted by jonmc 28 January | 13:43

Dude, I'd have been going insane within a week. As much of a homebody as I am, if I get actually stuck in the house for more than about 48 hours, I lose it FAST.

Here's hoping you get to breathe the air that free men breathe, very soon.

posted by BoringPostcards 28 January | 14:18

Hi Jon. Someone really needs to invent a transporter. I'd transport myself and Otto up to your living room for an hour or two.

posted by chewatadistance 28 January | 14:22

I kind of wish I had a pet.

posted by jonmc 28 January | 14:35

This is something I continually struggle with. I tend to isolate myself. Sometimes I feel generally rejected by the people around me, so I retreat because I'm tired of all the work and I'm tired of failing at it. Often I wish desperately that I had people who would pull me out of my hole, but no one does.

Lately I'm unemployed and broke, in debt, and *incredibly* single, and it's winter, and it seems like things are never going to feel better than this. But I do know that as long as I make it through the next two months I will feel better even if none of my circumstances change. I hold on to that.

And my cats -- I don't know where I'd be without them. You take your hugs where you get them. I have a little dude sleeping at my feet right now and it makes things a little better.

posted by loiseau 28 January | 15:06

Bubba is really sweet, too. He wriggles on his back. He'd wriggle on his back for a tummy rub for you.

Hey, I wonder if there's some organization that does cheer-up visits with puppies for people who are homebound? I recognize that it sounds kind of bizarre to think of yourself that way, but hey, if you can get some puppies out of it?

posted by Stewriffic 28 January | 15:07

And I really need to meet Otto, considering that I see his mom every couple of weeks. His person-mom, that is.

posted by Stewriffic 28 January | 15:47

Hugs to you, jonmc! The outside will seem so much sweeter when you can venture beyond your door again.

posted by mdonley 28 January | 17:02

when the same group of people is confined in one environment for a long time without outside influence, there comes a point where people just start to get odd.

Sounds a lot like D.C.

Man, I get nuts after a few hours stuck in one spot. Two days after knee surgery I was out driving and walking around because I couldn't stand (heh) to be confined.

Then again, I still stare out the window at the mountains, just like in school.

The thing that helps me with depressive episodes is to take action -- exactly what you largely can't do. Good thing you have that web thingy with friends on the other end to get you through.

posted by trinity8-director 28 January | 17:21

i sended you an email mr jon

posted by By the Grace of God 28 January | 19:26

Ah, shit, man, I'm a dick. I'll be over at my first opportunity, but I gotta take the work when it's here. Plus I feel bad about that Obama thread, too. And I gotta see that demobbed Radar show. Tomorrow's a big move day and there are probably a lot of hours available, but if I get away early I'll head right over. Don't get too lonely or I'll have to bring you a cocktail dress home from work and dress you up like Klinger. Meeeeeee-ow!

posted by Hugh Janus 28 January | 21:11

I may not have kept up, but are you still not smoking jonmc? Is so, that's probably another big factor in how you're feeling. I hope things are better for you soon.

posted by nelvana 28 January | 21:45

Still smoke-free, almost a month now. and that thought had occured to me.

posted by jonmc 28 January | 22:43

Congrats! Hang in there because it does get better. A month is great - and it's a tough month to get through. Good for you.

posted by nelvana 28 January | 23:00

Thanks. be nice and I'll tell you where I buried the bodies.

posted by jonmc 28 January | 23:04

But depression is weird, once you feel depressed, your mind will start manufacturing reasons to be depressed, like somebody calling you a name when you were 10 or you parents yelling at you as a kid, something insignificant like that and you'll feel more depressed. Which sounds nuts, I realize. But it's a feedback loop.

Fwiw . . . wow, that's such a great description of the vicious cycle of depression. Not that that makes you feel any better.

When I feel isolated and depressed, it sometimes helps me to remember John Cage's notion that went something like this . . . if something is boring for five minutes, try it for ten; if it's boring for ten, try it for twenty; and so on, until it's no longer boring. Somehow that notion calms me down and I really do start to find whatever I find drab and dull kind of interesting. Not sure how well this would work for weeks/months on end, though. :/

posted by treepour 29 January | 00:55

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