Nice. Not me. Heading out to a birthday party here, as soon as I can motivate to make myself presentable.

I love state introductions; fun to learn facts!

Who loves pageants? Raise your hands!

She really kicked ass in the bumper sticker recitation portion of the show.

Man, CC, that was pretty cold, dude.

Cruel, ColdChef, cruel! That poor girl- that story TERRIFIED me, I guzzled down some extra cranberry juice, just to be safe!!!

That was low CC but I did laugh.

Yaaaaay, our favorite, Miss Arkansas, made the first cut! And so did my sister's friend Miss Florida.

Clinton Kelly is hysterical, I like him.

I apologize. I'm a terrible person.

Miss Indiana forgot to bring her autotune.

Coldchef, I believe in peanut butter, so I clapped my hands.

I'm actually watching it now, in a rebroadcast. I didn't realize it was on last night. My mom and I always enjoyed watching pageants (pageants and Love Boat). Good clean fun, I say. I already know who won, though.

(And as someone with chronic UTIs, that poor girl's case was very, very scary.)

(Miss Florida has very beautiful eyes, but she flubbed the final question a bit.)

She looked genuinely shocked, Miss Indiana. Lovely girl. $50,000 scholarship. Not too shabby.

I just got done watching my recording. It is still surprisingly enjoyable, although I am a cranky old person who prefers the old school version of the 70s and 80s. Can we please get a good look at the evening gowns for a change?

I will say, however, that I appreciate the fact that they've really cut down on the production numbers between the various competitions. Those started in the 60s and are invariably dumb. And I particularly enjoyed the bits where previous Miss Americas sat around telling silly stories.

The winner was a fine choice, though I was rooting for Miss Georgia. Via Dolorosa is lucky for Miss America contestants -- Heather Whitestone won dancing to it.

That stupid reality series leading up to the pageant, however, was four hours of my life I'll always regret wasting.