MetaChat - Scientology just emailed me

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07 January 2009

Scientology just emailed me →[More:]the following:

Dear Thomas,

Okay, what do you need help with? What do you think is making you unhappy?

Regards,
Jackie
>
> Email: thomas.topham@gmail.com
> First Name: Thomas
> Last Name: Topham
> Company/Organization:
> Occupation:
> Address:
> City: Sofia
> State:
> Postal Code:
> Country: BG
> Home Phone:
> Cell Phone:
>
>
> Message:
> I am deeply unhappy and I think I need help.
>
> Subscribe to Newsletter
>
> Referring Address: http://www.scientology.org/world/index.html
>

Of course I never sent them anything, but quite the sneaky social engineering going on here. If you were depressed, and maybe a little manic / psychotic / stoned / whatever, this might be just the hook to take you in.

Sneaky buggers. And somehow they have me linked to Sofia, BG as well. Anyone else get one of these?

post by: Meatbomb at: 16:05 | 18 comments

You did it. Thetans made you do it.

posted by qvantamon 07 January | 16:14

Wait...How'd they know all that about ME, but get my name and location wrong?

Oh Mighty Xebu! Embrace me!

posted by piratebowling 07 January | 16:28

My father worked with a Scientologist for awhile who would, allegedly, turn everything he said into a critique of his personal happiness. Like, "I know you seem happy, what with the recent birth of your daughter and all, but have I ever told you that it's all an illusion? That the birth of your daughter reveals that you're deeply unhappy?" Now replace "birth of your daughter" with events like, "positive staff review", "winning the interdepartment basketball game", and "buying a bagel".

posted by muddgirl 07 January | 16:33

It's true. That bagel really did make me unhappy.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 07 January | 16:42

Don't be so dark, muddgirl.

posted by sperose 07 January | 16:46

Muddgirl, it would be great to purposely try to turn it around on the aggravating Scietologist coworker.

"I went to see the new Tom Cruise movie this weekend. Boy, I had a great time!"

"Did you ever think that your enjoyment of a Tom Cruise movie reveals how unhappy you -- hey!"

posted by scody 07 January | 17:05

Reply:
My email box is full of spam, telling me my penis is of inadequate size.

posted by sakura 07 January | 17:11

The Scientologists not only tell me my tiny penis is the reason I'm unhappy, but then they laugh and point and make little Scientological in-jokes about it, too.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 07 January | 17:39

My Mormon neighbours hang around on our street corner, trying to get people to come to church with them. I never quite know how to react when they approach me (I do not share their beliefs).

posted by altolinguistic 07 January | 17:43

Tell them you'd like to talk to them about the Church of Scientology. They'll never bother you again.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 07 January | 17:55

alto: Hold up your crossed fingers and hiss, "Get thee behind me, Satan!". No, I don't think they're Satan worshipers, I'd just love to see their faces.

posted by deborah 07 January | 17:57

Well, what I tell them is that my husband was kicked out of the Mormon church. (True.)

It generally has the desired effect. You should see their little faces...

posted by bunnyfire 07 January | 18:59

I have some Mormon friends. They're very sincere. We don't talk about religion. They're very good gardeners and very good neighbors.

Scientologists are greedy and self-absorbed.

posted by Hugh Janus 07 January | 19:13

Can't you now sue them for jillians under that CAN-SPAM act?

posted by pompomtom 07 January | 22:43

My Mormon neighbours hang around on our street corner, trying to get people to come to church with them. I never quite know how to react when they approach me (I do not share their beliefs).

We have a mormon temple (or whatever) near our place, distributing earnest young American lads to the surrounding area. They particularly like to hang about the choke-points at the train station. The funny thing is that unless you're a youngish, attractive Asian girl, they're never all that fussed about your immortal soul (or whatever it is they claim to be fussed about).

I almost want them to come and bug me, just out of sheer contrariness. I guess that makes me all kinds of messed up, and I probably need some in my life.

posted by pompomtom 07 January | 22:48

ahem:

I probably need some [annoying evangelical cult] in my life.

(note to self: angle brackets don't work here...)

posted by pompomtom 07 January | 22:49

oh, wow, meatbomb. Yeah, that's designed to sucker up minds in a vulnerable state, innit. Preying on the weak of state - a standby of spiritual marketing.

posted by Miko 07 January | 22:51

Xenu built my hotrod.

posted by arse_hat 08 January | 00:13

← Yet another federal bailout || Me and two other actors. 37 Shakespearean plays/90 minutes. We open tomorrow. →

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